Lost and Found
by hothoney111
Summary: Edward is lost w/o his angel, who supposedly disappeared 76 years ago. Alternate post-New Moon-ish. What if when Edward finally came back to Forks, he discovered Bella missing and presumed dead? What happens when maybe she might not really be gone? EPOV
1. Prologue

Lost and Found – Prologue

The moment was now before me.

I don't think I could have held myself back any longer anyway, but now that I was here in the moment I had both dreaded and longed for, I couldn't seem to find the right words.

What could I possibly say that would set things right?

Would this finally be the end of all ends for the both of us?

Or would I be lucky enough to be blessed with that last chance to right my previous wrongs?

It was all up to her.

It should have always been up to her…

I had just been too blind to see that.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_This time,_

_This place,_

_Misused,_

_Mistakes,_

_Too long,_

_Too late,_

_Who was I to make you wait?_

_Just one chance,_

_Just one breath,_

_Just in case there's just one left…_

'_Cuz you know, you know, you know_

_I love you,_

_I loved you all along,_

_And I miss you,_

_Been far away for far too long._

_I keep dreaming_

_You'll be with me,_

_And you'll never go._

_Stop breathing_

_If I don't see you anymore._

_On my knees,_

_I'll ask,_

_Last chance for one last dance._

'_Cuz with you,_

_I'd withstand_

_All of hell to hold your hand._

_I'd give it all,_

_I'd give for us,_

_Give anything, but I won't give up…_

'_Cuz you know, you know, you know_

_I love you,_

_I loved you all along,_

_And I miss you,_

_Been far away for far too long._

_I keep dreaming_

_You'll be with me,_

_And you'll never go._

_Stop breathing_

_If I don't see you anymore._

_So far away,_

_So far away,_

_Been far away for way too long…_

_But you know, you know, you know_

_I wanted,_

_I wanted you to stay._

'_Cuz I needed,_

_I need to hear you say…_

_I love you,_

_I've loved you all along,_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long._

_So keep breathing_

'_Cuz I'm not leaving you anymore._

_Believe it,_

_Hold on to me,_

_Never let me go._

_Keep breathing_

'_Cuz I'm not leaving you anymore._

_Believe it, _

_Hold one to me,_

_Never let me go._


	2. Chapter 1: The Vision

_My head and my heart are colliding, chaotic,_

_Pace of the world I just wish I could stop it._

_Try to appear like I've got it together—_

_I'm falling apart…_

_Save me,_

_Somebody take my hand and lead me…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 1: The Vision

I wish everyone would leave me alone. That's what I wish. However, as much as I hope for silence, for just a moment's peace, it will never happen. Why, may you ask? Easy. Even if I try and stick to myself, whether it be by hiding in my room or by hiding in the far corner of whichever new mansion my family drags me to, I will never truly be alone. Case in point:

_Edward, why are you ignoring us? How can you ignore ME, Edward? You can't stay up in your room forever. You have to be social at some point. We are going to be around for an infinitely long time, you know…_

I rolled my eyes moodily at Alice's worried thoughts. I knew what would be coming next so I tried to muffle her concerned voice. She would tell me that it had been seventy-six years. That's right— seventy-six years of having nothing but pure agony in my every step. Seventy-six years where my cold, dead heart had grown even colder. It didn't even beat, and yet, I could feel it thudding painfully and heavily inside of me, day-in and day-out. It was extremely hard to bear. I could hardly find the effort to try and move some days. Me? Be social? She had to be kidding.

SHE was gone. I would never see her again. The finality of that thought was beyond heartbreaking to me, and the anguish that accompanied that thought could barely be put into words. Ironically enough, I was condemned to an eternity to exist without her by my side, although not for the reasons I had initially imagined. I had wanted to protect her, but it had obviously not done the job, and instead, had merely left her more vulnerable. A very small part of me was happy that she had been able to avoid being damned to my soulless existence, but the rest of me couldn't help but be dead in every sense of the word knowing that I will forever be without her presence. I would have gone shortly after as well, as I had often planned to do, but…well…Alice and the rest of them had put a stop to that faster than I had been able to get away. I have never been 'alone' since.

I scowled inwardly as I thought of how my family had taken it upon themselves to never let me go anywhere alone, thinking that I may go off myself at any given opportunity. I growled under my breath, but I instantly regretted it when I could tell that Alice had perked up, concerned at the sound, even from the other side of our new home. She thought I was actually listening to her now. Great. She didn't understand. They all didn't understand. At least if I ended my long existence, I could have the hope of maybe seeing her one last time. Even if I still held onto the belief that our monstrous existence was indeed soulless, a part of me still hoped that I would at least get the chance to see her one last time before I was damned to wherever I would go when I died. I would be happy merely knowing that she was where I expected her to be.

I rolled over on the couch I had bought for my latest bedroom, trying endlessly to get more comfortable. I refused to buy a bed, seeing as all that item of furniture did was remind me of her. One of the many pleasures I had had when I had been with her had been watching her sleep— lying with her, listening to her late-night ramblings, or watching her beautiful brown eyes awaken to a new day. These memories were all I could remember when I merely saw a bed. I couldn't imagine what my aching cold heart would go through if I were to have one in my room.

This was actually only our eighth new place over the years, which was less than it ought to have been. The family thought that by not moving around so much, it might make me feel better or I might open up more. The thought was ridiculous. Tomorrow, everyone would go on and start their new life…again. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie would all start high school for what felt like the millionth time while Carlisle would be starting a new independent practice, something he hadn't tried before. He thought it would be different than working in another hospital, and perhaps, he could work in one area longer than he had in the past, what with having patients come and go more frequently. That left Esme with her projects while she carefully would watch over me since I, according to the rest of the family, would grumpily remain in my room. Esme may be little, but she was as ferocious as any vampire when she wanted to be; not to mention that my family all knew that she, being practically the only mother I can properly remember, pulled at my heartstrings so I would never do anything rash while she would be around to witness it.

I let out a frustrated sigh when the hum of voices in my head seemed to grow exponentially louder as I continued in vain to ignore my family. We had only been a few weeks or so at the new place. There wasn't anything I needed to do just yet so there was no real reason for them to be ganging up on me. I suppose they were bothered by the fact that I had stopped playing music in my room recently. I only did that because if I played my music, then they would choose to scream in their thoughts, making it even more annoying than if it was just normal like this. There was no reason for them to shout when the music was turned off. However, this time, that philosophy didn't seem to be stopping any of them.

_My poor boy… I haven't seen him smile in years. He hasn't played the piano in years. I have made sure to have one in the last three houses, but he still refuses to play. How can I help him? Edward? Would you please come and play something for me? We love and miss you, you know. I know it hurts, my boy, but she wouldn't want you to give up on everything. She loved you and would want you to be happy._

_Oi, Eddie! I have the latest playstation 7 game, and I plan on whomping…your…ass. Jasper can't play for shit so get your ass down here._

_Edward, please. Control your emotions, or I will be forced to. I don't care that you don't like that anymore. And will you please not ignore my wife? Please? You weren't the only one hurt when things went poorly, you know. Alice loved her too. She misses you— you were her confidant at one time or another, but now, you just avoid her. Does she remind you of…well… I suppose I can understand that, but maybe she could help you sort out your feelings, if you give her the chance._

_Honestly, Edward. You should…__not__…__be__…__upset__! I'm getting sick of pointing this out, but regardless of how soon it happened after we left, it was __exactly__ what you had wanted. You had wanted her to be human, and human she was. This family needs you. As much as I wish things were different, you are the center of this family. You hold everything together— you are the eldest brother, even if you don't always act like it. Can't you see what you have been doing to everyone over the years? Look at all of us— no one can move on if you don't._

I closed my eyes and tried forcefully to block Rosalie's thoughts from my mind. She was right, for the most part. At the same time though, what I had wanted for…her…hadn't just been to be human. No. I had wanted her to have a full human life and all of the wonderful experiences that went with it. That hadn't happened. To this day, no one knew why pieces of her bloody clothes had been found deep in the woods north of her house at the edge of a rushing river. Even I could not determine what had happened. There was evidence of a struggle or a fight in her bedroom, but that was all anyone had been able to go by. There had been various stories about what may have happened to her, but all of the 'normal' human evidence had led to the rapist/killer that had been in the Seattle area at the time. My family and I were the only ones who knew that there had been other options.

Yes, the humans may have gotten it right, considering the horrible luck my beautiful girl had possessed, especially since her time had technically been up the moment I had met her. However, there had been two other possibilities. It could have been either another vampire or a werewolf, the latter of which had become a possibility after I had discovered how they had begun making noise in Forks right after my family and I had left the area. I had murdered the rapist/killer without taking an ounce of his blood just in case that it had, in fact, been him. His thoughts hadn't indicated as much, but I also don't remember giving him much time to really think on it properly because I had acted rather…ahh…hastily. As for the remaining two possibilities, there had been no werewolf scent in her room— I would have been able to tell immediately— and the only vampiric scents I could pick up in her room had been my own and faintly, Alice's. This, of course, still wasn't exactly definitive, considering vampires may have passed through the surrounding woodland, seeing as our scents had littered the area, and my girl may have disregarded everything I had ever told her about venturing into the woods on her own after I had broken practically every promise I had ever made her and she would have been thoroughly upset with me.

The werewolves had been no help whatsoever in helping us figure everything out. I had found it most disturbing that the one who had been named Jacob Black had tried to stare me down considerably while Carlisle had inquired about her with the pack. His thoughts were still a mystery to me today, although they did continue to cause me even more pain. He had been thinking of her— she had been his friend. I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried not to remember seeing what I had seen in his head, particularly the exact state she had been in when I had first left her, the dull and depressed look to her beautiful brown eyes as time had passed by, the way she had begun to lose weight and look practically listless, or even the memories of her very out-of-character choices where she had taken an interest in certain risky behaviors in my absence. These images had been playing like a mantra in his head, almost purposefully. When he had caught me looking at him in pain, he had begun to count in his head instead, like he had something to hide. That had told me that he had known something about my ability and perhaps more about the situation than what was being said, but I had been unable to do anything to figure it out without causing a war.

I had determined, though, that if he had known anything, it couldn't have been anything of consequence. His purposeful and evasive behavior gave me the impression that he was merely being aggressive because he had been jealous— the feelings of love radiating off of him and echoing in Jasper's thoughts could not be masked. He had had feelings for her— feelings that she must not have reciprocated, considering she had not been in a state to even attempt such a thing because she had still been much too focused on my leaving her at the time. Plus, I could be hopeful in assuming that she had still been in love with me. I wouldn't have wanted her to return such feelings to a mutt like him anyway. I could admit now that I still am a bit jealous and mournful that she had allowed him, of all beasts— I mean, people— to get that close to her even in the smallest sense, but it was what I had wanted for her and nothing could be done of it now. The other werewolves had also been focusing rather strictly, mostly on their mundane lives, and had avoided thinking about my girl at all during our entire visit. Sam Uley, their Alpha, had only thought of her father, the police, and the aftermath of her being declared missing. Apparently, Charlie and he had been friends through Jacob's father, Billy Black.

After coming up with nothing and taking care of the rapist/killer just in case, it hadn't taken me long to decide to leave the area to go to Volterra. That feeling of pain and anguish I had felt back then at finally realizing my immense loss was just as strong today, arguably stronger as time continued to tick by. Existing without her was just that: existing. Life without her somewhere in it meant nothing to me. At least when she had been alive— when there had been somewhere in the world where she could smile or laugh— my existence had held a purpose, or had at least mattered. If I was being honest, if my family chose to leave me alone for an exorbitant amount of time right now, I would probably still be on the next flight out. I would prefer death over knowing I would live for eternity without her. As it was, they occasionally had to remind me to go hunting, but instinct usually took over during that time anyway.

Despite my slowly increasing control over somewhat masking my mind reading at times, Rosalie's matter-of-fact voice was able to come plowing back into my head. I tried to force it away again, but then heard Alice still trying to get me to come out of my room. Esme was still thinking sadly about me being in pain. Emmett and Jasper were playing the new playstation now, but while Emmet was focusing on the race, Jasper was really concentrating on keeping his emotions in check, considering mine were fluctuating between rage, irritation, frustration, sadness, and deep pain. Needless to say, I was sure I wasn't doing anything to help him relax, but at least he was not messing with my emotions anymore after I had asked— well, raged— at him not to do so, despite his threats to do otherwise. Carlisle, thankfully, had gone to check out his new job a while ago so his thoughts were not present for the time being. One less voice for me to evade.

These were the times when I wished for sleep to claim me, just as it had for…her. I longed for dreams where she and I could be together like we had been, as they were my only escape from my dismal reality without her. To this day, I remembered everything about her exactly, the curse of a perfect vampiric memory. It was almost cruel. Her touch, the feel of her soft, warm skin, the scent of her shampoo, the exact rhythm of her heart beat, and that heady scent of her blood which had driven me mad as it flew through her veins… Freesias. Floral. Intoxicatingly delicious.

I closed my eyes and relished in remembering her scent, but that memory was not nearly as precious to me as were the memories of when she and I had been alone together. Those memories were my heaven, and I relived each one of them daily. I cherished every last one and considered most of them to be the best days of my never-ending existence. The major exception of which being my foolish attempt at keeping her safe the last time I had seen her. The heartbroken and lost expression on her face as I lied to her about everything made me feel intense pain just to remember. The agony in her expressive brown eyes after she had allowed my lies to sink in seemed to haunt me. To think, she may have left her life possibly not knowing that I had loved (and still continued to love, mind you) her more than I loved anything, including myself. That was one of my biggest regrets.

I shook my head, not wanting to think about things that would only depress me further. I gazed thoughtfully at the new ceiling in my bedroom instead, something I had yet to do. I would likely memorize its design within minutes, but I would be spending an awfully exorbitant amount of time wallowing in here so I might as well get acquainted. However, that all changed when I heard Alice stumble downstairs as she had a vision.

The words she had been thinking stopped abruptly as an image of our family, including me, all waiting somewhat nervously in the living room together started to appear. Then, the phone rang which caused us all to start at the sound, almost in apprehension. Carlisle was the one who walked hesitantly to the phone, and he answered it as coolly and calmly as possible, "Hello, Aro." The vision ended there.

I was already in front of Alice before anyone else could even blink, but then again, they were probably shocked to see me leave my room at all in general. I didn't even want to know what I looked like, considering it had been about three weeks since I had last hunted, my hair was disheveled from lying on it and running my hands through it profusely in frustration over these last few days, and I didn't remember showering or changing since sometime last week. Vampires may be beautiful, but if we chose not to take care of ourselves, we would have our off days like everyone else. I ignored them though and spoke directly to Alice for the first time in what felt like months, "Are you ok?"

Alice blinked rapidly, obviously surprised to see me, of all people, standing in front of her. She answered me in her head, _Yeah, just give me a second._

As Alice composed herself, I noticed Jasper trying to evaluate mine and Alice's emotions to understand whatever she had just seen as he slowly walked over towards her. I narrowed my eyes at him when he attempted to calm me from feeling everything I was already feeling in addition with slight fear for my family. I couldn't help but grumble out a short, "No, Jasper."

He immediately stopped, looking apologetic, but I just turned to my family, both wary and curious. They all were looking equally surprised at seeing me attempt to converse with them after such a long bout of silence. I had no such concerns, particularly when we were going to be living as long as we would. What was one year when you had an infinite amount of years to contend with? I decided to get straight to the point. "So what exactly have you guys been doing lately to warrant a phone call from the Volturi?"

Everyone but Alice gasped at my question, as we hadn't heard anything from the Volturi for about forty years now— they had expressed an interest over the phone and in person for both Alice and myself for their guard due to our gifts. It had been…an experience of sorts. It seemed mainly like they were doing some 'collecting' of talented vampires from all over the world. Although they had been disappointed by both mine and Alice's polite and repeated refusals, they had at least left us all alone. Aro had also given me a silent refusal of my request for death, considering he had seen everything about my life quickly in his head due to his astounding gift of mind reading when I had brushed his hand by accident. I blocked out my family's shocked thoughts over my revelation though and focused on Alice, who was the only one not surprised. She just shook her head slowly at me, looking confused, before answering my question, "Nothing. We haven't done anything, Edward. I think…well…perhaps they just have something to ask us?"

I nodded at that hesitantly because that could be the tamer possibility. I also couldn't help silently wishing that I would finally be able to end it all if the Volturi were going to come for a visit. That thought ceased quickly though, causing my depression to come back full circle when I knew deep down that a part of me had grudgingly accepted that my family would do anything to prevent it. Plus, I would never let anything bad happen to them, especially if I could help put a stop to it. I had lost too much already. I would never allow any harm to come to them. They deserved to be happy, even if I could never fully be again.

Jasper's brow furrowed at my many emotions, but he was quick to add, "If the Volturi are going to call, we'll just have to wait. There is no need to get worried over this…yet. I mean, isn't Carlisle still friendly with them?"

I leaned back against the wall, merely nodding again at Jasper's question. I, being the eldest, had witnessed Carlisle conversing with the Volturi more than a few times via phone over the years. I knew that despite Carlisle staying with the Volturi for a good number of years in his distant past, they were neither close nor shared the same views about vampirism as a whole. However, the Volturi had never been outwardly competitive or domineering with Carlisle or our coven, even during their last visit when they had been inquiring about Alice and me. Esme jumped in when my silent acceptance did little to reassure everyone. Her voice was soft, "Carlisle has been…friendly…with the Volturi for many years. I assume the phone call will be nothing more than a favor of sorts." She then turned to Alice inquisitively, "Do you know who it was that called? You obviously don't know what they want."

Alice sighed, taking Jasper up on his offer to put his arms around her. She tilted her head as she thought about why Aro would be calling while she stated, "It was Aro. He's the one who always does all of the talking, right? Caius and Marcus just kind of let him lead things unofficially. The vision ended before it had reached its purpose. I have a feeling that the decision was made for making the call, but its purpose must still be up for debate."

Esme looked away from us all, pondering this. "Well, for the most part, that's true. Aro was always the most personable. I know that he has always been interested in how we live, but he has never tried to sway us differently. I suppose we all remember that the Volturi has expressed interest in us, namely you, Edward, since your gift is much like his own, only better because it requires no contact. That was all though. Perhaps that is all this is about once again."

I furrowed my brow, not wanting to think about the Volturi expressing a second interest in persuading me to leave my family to work for them. How could they think I would just give up my family to work for them? To me, I only had two options— either die at someone's hand or live with my family even if I would forever be miserable because I had already lost my only half. Neither of the options sounded all that appealing, of course, but I did love my family. If I had to live without her, it would only be with my family— no one else. I would protect them if need be, but when they didn't need my protecting, I had no problems holing myself up in my room if it made them happy to have me present, whole, and alive— even if it meant that I would suffer without her.

I listened silently as the rest of my family conversed, out loud and in thought. I missed her most when I was surrounded by the noise like this, considering I had heard nothing when I had been alone with her. That had left me with nothing else to do but just watch her— her and her adorably expressive facial expressions. I loved the challenge of trying to understand everything going on inside of her head, but what I found most appealing was the thoughtful insights she would blurt out unexpectedly every once and a while. She had me captivated all of the time. Here, with my family, everyone was an open book— an occasionally annoying open book that never ended.

_Edward, will you stop gazing out into space and answer my question?!?!?_

The shout inside of my head brought me back into the room, and I turned my gaze lazily toward Rosalie who was glaring at me. Nothing unusual. The others were all trying to stifle their laughter as they observed our interaction. She must've said something to me out loud a few times as well. She may be stubborn, but I was more so. "What is it now, Rose?"

Alice started snickering in her head at my bored expression as Rosalie grew even more upset. The others continued to try and mask their delight over the situation. I suppose it had been longer than I had thought since I had interacted with my family, as they were finding this all a little too entertaining. Interacting with them just felt empty when I didn't have my angel with me. Rosalie's dark eyes flashed, and I could tell she was forcing herself to remain calm, although I already knew Jasper was helping me out some on that front. "I ASKED, have you finally started to listen to what I have been telling you?"

My eyes darkened, but my face didn't even flinch. "Define listen."

That was all it took for Alice to burst into a fit of giggles while Rosalie suddenly looked livid. I rolled my eyes and scowled. How dare she think that just because I walked out of my room that I suddenly had forgotten about…her. It was callous, and it was unfathomable. Rose immediately started going off in her head, calling me a host of names. I blocked her out and instead focused on Alice, who was gleefully thinking, _I so missed this. Edward, please come out to play more often. Please. By the way, you need to hunt. Jasper and I will go with you tonight. You should be in top form along with us, just in case. Is that alright?_

I caught her eye before looking up to the ceiling slowly and then back down to the floor so she would understand my acceptance of her offer. That was one way of avoiding the rest of my family, considering none of them had really caught on to Alice and my many conversations over the years. Alice was right about me needing to hunt. I could smell a squirrel just outside the house, and it smelled mouthwatering. A squirrel. However, before anyone could give me any more grief— in thought or in person— I left.

I was in my room quickly, and I slowly headed for the shower. I closed my eyes as memories of my angel's beautifully flush face in the morning just before she would take her so called 'human moment' flooded my mind. To me, showering had always been a mundane ritual, but then, I had met her and the whole idea of showering had taken on so many new meanings. Now, even taking a shower reminded me of her. I sighed and reluctantly started the water, turning it to its hottest setting. I might as well get this over with.


	3. Chapter 2: The Call

_I tear my heart open;_

_I sew myself shut._

_My weakness is_

_That I care too much,_

_And my scars remind me_

_That the past is real;_

_I tear my heart open,_

_Just to feel…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 2: The Call

My entire family had been on edge for the last four days. It has been awful. Would you care to listen to worried rambling thoughts 24/7? Yeah, that's right. Vampires can't sleep so I didn't even get that break during the night. So unfair.

The worst part of it was that I had now become even more worried for my family the more time that went by. Thoughts of what could possibly go wrong were in the forefront rather than the tamer thoughts of the Volturi merely requiring a spot of help. I knew that I should have no reason to think that Aro and the rest of the Volturi would care to cause us harm, but a part of me knew that deep down and in the deepest parts of their minds, they didn't necessarily like the fact that there was another large and rather powerful coven out there, especially ones like us who pride ourselves in being…vegetarians. I'm not sure if they were feeling like their authority is being challenged or diminished by that fact or not, which meant that this 'phone call' we were to receive could go either way. It could be combative or merely a request for a favor.

For my family's sake, I have made the exorbitant effort to be…visible. I would prefer nothing more than to continue wallowing in my room, but due to the heightened circumstances, I don't wish to add to their worry. At the same time, being up and about, even in just these small amounts, is incredibly draining for me. They all remind me of her so much. I know they don't mean to, but they do. Rosalie and her catty looks when Alice says something silly; Emmet laughing when Jasper or Alice runs into a table (mostly when they are too busy looking at each other than at their surroundings); Esme dabbling around in the kitchen when we all have no reason to eat; or Jasper calming us as we all feel tense over a situation we know nothing about. Each scenario is so reminiscent that it almost feels like she was here with me just yesterday, not seventy-six years ago.

Alice was the only one who has noticed my continued depression, I think anyway. I hide it pretty well, but nothing ever seems to escape her. I know she has seen it in person as she has always been the person I was closest to, but she has also seen it. I hadn't realized how often she looked in on me until I was around more often, but she does it all of the time. Her worry obviously makes Jasper notice so I have at least the both of them constantly on watch. I'm sure they've notified everyone else without me knowing, even though no one's thoughts have betrayed them on the subject. They've all gotten rather talented at escaping me over the years. Rosalie is the only one who has continued to preach inside of her head at me, not that I listen to her all that much if I can help it.

Everyone was currently dabbling around somewhere in the living room or kitchen area. Carlisle had continued to go to his practice daily to get things set up, but the others had decided to stall enrolling in high school until this was all dealt with. For some reason, Alice was sure that it would happen sooner rather than later. We were all on guard now that Carlisle had arrived home not too long ago. I glared out of the front window. I wanted this situation dealt with.

As if that thought were all it had taken, the phone began to ring. I tensed, and that's when I realized I had been sitting the exact same way I had been in the vision without even noticing. This was it. I turned immediately to Carlisle with narrowed eyes, and he got the hint. He walked hesitantly to the phone, and answered it calmly, "Hello, Aro."

We were all straining to hear the other end, but it wasn't all that difficult, considering Aro didn't seem to be hiding what he had to say. He knew we would be able to listen in. At Carlisle's automatic greeting, he had burst into whole-hearted laughter. When he finally sobered up some, his voice was full of good-natured humor, "So I take it Alice has already foreseen my phone call… Of course, she has! Her talent seems endless, does it not? And my, my Carlisle, it's been a long time."

Carlisle didn't really relax at this supposedly easy banter. His honey brown eyes darted between all of us as he spoke into the phone, "Yes, it has, old friend… However, we were just on notice to expect your call so do tell us, Aro— what's on your mind?"

Aro sighed helplessly, as if he were absolutely defeated. "Interesting business, Carlisle. Interesting business. I have heard of your move into the northern Minnesota area just recently, and that is currently the location where a certain…enigma…of mine and the rest of the Volturi has come to reside…or at least, we believe that is near the location of where this vampire has headed. Unfortunately, we have had a very difficult time in tracking her." His voice wavered for a moment as he seemed to grudgingly admit, "In fact, we haven't been able to track her at all."

My brow furrowed at this, and my eyes instantly looked over at Alice. He wanted her to try and find this vampire. She had been practicing over the years at trying to see us, her family, as we are in the present sense rather than just in the future sense. She had been successful more than a few times; I would know. The future was still incredibly easier for her, but her acquired ability might be more useful in this situation. Even my ability might be helpful if I was able to get in range of this vampire enough to hear her thoughts. However, the whole situation still seemed a bit odd…and unexpected. What was so special about this vampire, other than her ability to evade the Volturi? Surely, there must be something spiking the interest. Also, even if they were having difficulty tracking her, the Volturi had plenty of other vampires in their guard that could do their dirty work to try and locate her. Aro wasn't exactly being clear about what he wanted or why he wanted us to be a part of it. We typically avoided Volturi matters altogether.

Carlisle obviously had similar thoughts. His words were suspicious, but he kept things light, "And you think Alice or Edward may be able to help? What is the real reason for seeking this vampire? If she wants to be left alone, why do you think she'd handle us any better than those you have already sent out after her? You have obviously gotten her attention if she is on the run. In fact, I would go so far as to say she is not interested in whatever you may be offering her. Why should we help you, Aro?"

Aro sounded flushed by the upfront questions, "Oh, well…she is…talented…ummm, actually, she's too talented. We are concerned about her ability…or abilities. I have had a handful of vampires come through Volterra telling us about her, and then, she has been able to evade and best some of our…top assets, to put it mildly. We feel that if she were to talk with us, she might like it here in Volterra."

I frowned when I realized they wanted her for their guard. This was sounding more and more like when they had requested Alice and myself to leave for Volterra. They had been persuasive and highly suggestive even though we had consistently told them no. If the vampire in question was running from them, she obviously had no desire to join so them still fishing to locate her and bring her in, likely under force, was why she was running in the first place. After Alice and I had said no, no one tried to bring us in by force. There had to be something else pushing the issue. She may be a powerful vampire, but our family had been living in the northern parts of America for years now and no such vampire had ever made enough noise for us to take notice. Carlisle narrowed his eyes, still not appeased. "You still haven't answered my question, Aro. Why would she handle us any better?"

Aro's breathing changed, and my eyes narrowed. He was going to lie. I immediately wished I could hear his thoughts. That's when I realized why this had been a phone call rather than a visit. He wanted to be able to lie or not tell us everything. He knew that I would be able to hear the truth behind whatever he said. He had something to hide. Something big. "Nothing gets by you, old friend. One of my guard, who has met her twice, has stated that she has golden eyes. We feel that she may be more…responsive…by someone like you or your family. I think you all could be rather…ahh…persuasive…with her for us."

_Yes! Another veggie lover!_

I shot Emmet a look before turning back to the phone conversation. This was serious and not something he should be joking about. That couldn't have been everything. Aro and the rest of the Volturi had never had trouble talking with a vegetarian vampire before. Why would he need us to be persuasive? Aro merely continued in a somewhat fake and amiable manner, "We just want to talk with her, of course. Nothing more."

Alice shook her head at Carlisle, her eyes widening. I could see what was in her head and grew even more puzzled. Aro had decided to take her alive, but he planned to kill her if she didn't join them. The Volturi were threatened by her, but that seemed a little extreme. She must be immensely powerful to upset or frighten the Volturi. At Alice's obvious look, Carlisle asked nonchalantly, "Just what exactly can she do? We should know if we are going to go looking for her, particularly if she doesn't wish to be found. She could be hostile."

Aro hesitated, and I immediately knew he was going to lie again or not tell us everything. His words were soft, "We think she's telekinetic. We don't know much more than that. And so far, she hasn't been hostile…just quick and evasive."

I growled softly so as to not let Aro hear, but to at least alert my family that I had some other thoughts. They now knew there was a potential for more than what Aro was saying. Carlisle sighed, looking wary. "What is it that you want us to do specifically, Aro? I suppose we can at least hear you out. No promises, of course."

Aro listed off a few things like 'keeping on the lookout for a petite brunette vampire' and 'letting him know if we saw or heard anything.' He was sounding more and more desperate and demanding by the minute, even though Carlisle had already made sure to not make any promises. I didn't like how this felt. I remembered when Aro had come to speak with Alice and myself, he had given me the vibe that he had been 'collecting' certain advantageous vampires at the time. He had been looking for the very best additions to his guard from vampires all over the world. This seemed similar. He wanted this vampire and her power (or powers from the sound of it) so he and the rest of the Volturi would be able to control it. I just didn't understand why he was trying to involve us or why we could be of any help. We normally avoided all other vampires, vegetarians or not. We hadn't even been to Denali in the last decade. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I hadn't realized Carlisle had hung up the phone. He immediately turned to me, thoroughly curious. "Why did you growl when he mentioned the girl's powers?"

I sighed, looking away. "He already mentioned her talent for evasion and escape. If they could not track her at all, she must be able to either hide effectively in some way or escape in a…talented…sort of way. Also, being telekinetic is a kind of all-encompassing thing for him to say, meaning that she can probably do a number of things with her mind that he never specified. Take me for example. I'm a mind reader with specific limitations. Aro is also a mind reader with specific limitations. He could've just said something specific like that, but he chose a general term like 'telekinetic?' Why? It almost seems…impossible. We've also never come across a vampire that can do more than one thing before. If she can, it's obvious why the Volturi want her. It almost seems like they feel threatened, which is ridiculous because from the sound of it, she merely doesn't want to join the Volturi, wants to be left alone, and is not stirring the waters. If she's so powerful and yet not making any noise, she must've just pissed off the wrong person by accident."

I paused briefly, letting those thoughts soak in before adding as an afterthought, "Then, there's also Alice's vision of their actual plan. The Volturi want her to join them, or they plan to kill her. End of story."

Esme's breathed in quickly. "No. We can't just let that happen when this poor girl didn't even do anything. We have to find her first. She can't be as vicious as Aro stated. In fact, he said she hasn't even been hostile— just unresponsive to their attempts at contact. Why would they want to kill her if she only doesn't want to join them? I mean, they've never been that way with all of their prospective talents. Edward and Alice were left alone, and there was that couple that we had waited with that had been left alone when they also declined their invitations."

Jasper sighed, and his thoughts were all strategic. "That's easy, Esme. Even if she doesn't join, they will always be wary of her if she's as powerful as they say. It's easier to just get rid of the threat before it culminates. She must travel alone so they don't foresee any other obstacle in getting rid of the evidence so to speak. The only reason Aro keeps us around, in my opinion, is because we are a large coven, he has a history with Carlisle, and he knows that if he does us a favor, we'll do him a favor. That sort of thing. As they always say, keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

Alice looked worried. "We can't just leave her out there to fend for herself against the Volturi— at least not until we know what happened to get them so riled. I'm sorry, but a solo female vampire, who doesn't seem to be on a murdering rampage and who seems to just be abnormally talented, does not typically warrant the Volturi as an enemy, even if they are interested in keeping her around for their guard. Something must've happened to strike up some fear. She must've gone head-to-head and won against one of their 'best assets.'"

Rosalie nodded, looking intrigued. "I can see that triggering a response like this. I mean, if your strongest guard was suddenly bested and you were a part of the strongest vampire coven, wouldn't you feel more than a little threatened by this random superior vampire? Even if she doesn't seek the power that the Volturi has, she could easily take it, if that's the case. That makes her dangerous to them."

Jasper sighed. "That may be true, but I still don't necessarily understand why Aro and the Volturi involved us at all. It could just be notifying us that we have a potential situation in the area where we are living, but it feels like there's…more to it than that."

I could hear those thoughts echoing in everyone's minds, and I agreed. I watched Carlisle frown before he started to speak, "Well, I suppose we should be looking, just in case. Alice, keep an eye out. Edward, keep your ears open. If any of you see something suspicious when you are out hunting, let us all know at once. It would be better if we found her first, particularly if she is more…upfront…with any of her upcoming followers. Just because Aro has asked us to look out for her doesn't mean he's going to stop sending others out. Be careful of passing vampires of…other tastes…as well. I have a feeling the guard members will be more prudent in their eating habits around here, under Aro's orders, mainly because we are living here, but we don't need to make any enemies. This girl will likely become more hostile the more she is watched and targeted."

I didn't like the sound of any of this, but I watched my family all nod together in agreement. I decided to just head up to my room once again. If there was no pressing danger to my family, I didn't need to be there. I could listen for miles from the confinement of my room. When I went hunting, I'd be sure to do a thorough perimeter check, but I didn't need to make any more effort than that. Alice started thinking up at me, a bit disappointed by my choices, as she had already grasped my intended plan of action.

_That may be a valid plan, Edward, but aren't you at all concerned? Volturi guards could be miles from our house at any given time, and you don't find that a little unnerving? Some of their talents still frighten me… And what about this girl? She may be able to take care of herself, from the sound of it, but just leaving her out there unprotected and unsuspecting is a little callous, don't you think? I'm going to look for her. Please, at least, try to listen for anything suspicious. Please._

_What a stupid girl. How could she put herself out there like that? Of course, the Volturi would take notice. She had to have done something to warrant such an investigation from them. I just don't see why we had to be involved at all. I bet it's all courtesy, seeing as Aro mentioned she's supposedly coming this way now. He just wanted us aware. If I find the girl, I could care less about handing her over. Anyone that threatens our family just needs to back off._

_Edward, this seems more than strategic. I know you've already thought about this, even though you haven't said much. I can't wait to find out what this girl can do that's so unnerving._

_Another vegetarian! We haven't seen another in years. I know Rose isn't all that happy about all of this, but hey, the girl might be cool. We haven't had any new faces around here in such a long time. Hey— Rose looks hot when she's all angry like this. Hey, Rosie…_

I quickly tuned out Emmet with a shudder and moved onto Carlisle and Esme, who were both debating the pros and cons of agreeing to search for the girl in Carlisle's office. I had to agree with some of them. Sure, it would be all great to find her first, but if we did, then what? Could we just hand her over when we know what her future holds? What if we didn't want to hand her over? What then? Did we really want to start a war with the Volturi over some measly girl? And what if we didn't find her first? Should we help her or should we just forget we were ever involved at that point? Also, she's obviously not a newborn, considering her moderate control over her abilities so why now? Why did the Volturi just notice her now? What had happened to spike their interest? Why did they call us? And why was she a vegetarian, and how did she become one? It's not a common practice among our kind so it seems…out-of-place. Who was this girl, and where did she come from?

_Brown hair, golden eyes. Brown hair, golden eyes. Brown hair, golden eyes. Where are you? Let me see you._

I grabbed one of my pillows and threw it over my head, wishing desperately that that action actually muffled the voices. Alice was going to be thinking that non-stop for a long time. It was going to be an unbearable next few days.


	4. Chapter 3: The Glimpse

_I've given up,_

_I'm giving up slowly;_

_I'm blending in so you won't even know me,_

_Apart from this world that shares my fate._

_This one last pull that you mention,_

_Smile, one last shot at redemption,_

'_Cuz I know to live, you must give your life away…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 3: The Glimpse

_Edward, did you hear anything when you were out hunting? Edward, are you going to answer me? Or is you __not__ answering me a no?_

I grumbled softly into my pillow after I laid down on my couch. I had just gotten back, and Alice was already bombarding me. It had been weeks. Not just days— weeks. Aro had only called once more after about a month's time, but he had been thoroughly disappointed when we had had nothing to report. It had now been almost five months in total. The girl was nowhere to be found. If I had been trying to evade the Volturi, I would have been long gone by now anyway. Why Alice was still so concerned was beyond me. I was fairly confident we would no longer have anything to deal with. It had been much too long.

Alice and Jasper were the only ones who still thought we should continue to be on the lookout because she might still be in the area. Alice was convinced the girl was still around because she swore she caught a 'glimpse' of the girl a few days ago. I rolled my eyes at that. Her 'glimpse' had been nothing more than a flash of trees, in my opinion. Jasper, on the other hand, was convinced for an entirely different reason, not that he was ever sure to bet against Alice usually. He claimed that it would be strategic for the girl to stay put when everyone would think her elsewhere. I suppose he had a point, but how a vampire could hide out in the open woodland wasn't exactly something that was possible. For that first month and for a few weeks after we had gotten the second phone call, I, including the rest of my family, had actively searched for her and had come up with nothing. Now, we, save Alice and Jasper, had stopped actively looking— or in my case, listening.

When Alice was still questioning me in her head ten minutes later, I finally spoke into my empty room so she and everyone else in the house would be able to hear me. My voice was pointed, a bit monotone, and purposefully annoyed when I finally spoke, "NO, ALICE. I DID NOT HEAR ANYTHING. THE THREE HUNDRED MILE PERIMETER I HAVE VENTURED THROUGH MONTHLY HAS BEEN SILENT FOR FIVE MONTHS NOW. PLEASE STOP TORTURING ME WITH YOUR ENDLESS QUESTIONING. SOME OF US LIKE TO WALLOW IN PEACE. THE GIRL IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. YOUR 'GLIMPSE' WAS OF NOTHING BUT TREES ANYWAY. I WOULD KNOW— I SAW IT TOO."

I could hear Rosalie and Emmet snickering at my assessment from out in the garage. They agreed with me, but Alice was not happy with me in the least.

_Oh, now you've done it._

As soon as I heard Jasper's worried thought, I could also hear something moving at vampire speed up the stairwell. Alice threw open my door more roughly than necessary, and it tore off the hinges. Esme was going to be mad at her for that. I didn't really acknowledge her presence, and instead, just relaxed further into my couch. This seemed to only infuriate her further. Her voice was low and dangerous, "It WAS a glimpse."

Jasper had come inside just behind her, and he was looking her over apprehensively. He tried to soothe her, "Come on, Alice. You know he was just being sarcastic."

Alice held up a hand at him, and Jasper immediately backed away, giving me a look that said I was on my own. I knew that he was not 'allowed' to do anything to her while she was angry. I could handle her though. I had no idea why she thought a short snippet of trees was this girl anyway. I couldn't even keep the boredom out of my voice as I reluctantly decided to let her explain her case. She would never stop otherwise. "Do explain how this flash of trees was the girl. I saw NO girl, Alice. There was NO ONE."

I frowned when I looked up at her just in time to see her eyes narrow menacingly at me. I quickly noticed that that she should probably go hunting soon. She had been rather crazed over this whole thing and must have forgotten to feed regularly because her eyes were incredibly dark at the moment. She started talking to me like I was a five year old, and it did little for my patience. "I KNOW it was the girl. You don't get it, do you? This girl seems to BLOCK talents. I can't seem to pick up anything about her— anything at all. I have even tried looking for random vampires that we haven't come across in years just to see if I could find THEM, and I DID. I CANNOT find this girl. That time, I had been trying to find her, and I saw SOMETHING. It may have been trees, but it was HER. If it truly WAS her like I'm sure it was, this is bad, Edward. She may be getting comfortable because it's been such a long time. If I could spot her now, even for a short time, someone else may have been able to spot her in some other manner too."

My brow furrowed. Was that really right? Could I not hear this girl because she was actually blocking me? My whole presence seemed to wilt as I remembered that it wasn't impossible for someone to block me. My immense loss seemed to hit me harder when that memory came on suddenly. My angel had been able to block me, and while she may have been the first one to ever do so, I had to admit that she might not be the last. I forced myself to not dwell in my misery at having lost her for the moment and focused on Alice's concerns. I closed my eyes briefly to swallow my depression before meeting her hard gaze once more, conceding only slightly. "Ok, you have my attention. However, it still proves nothing. You still saw trees and not the girl. Plus, the trees you saw could be ANYWHERE in the world— not just in our area."

Alice's dark eyes flashed, and she pulled at her hair as she growled, "NO! I KNOW she was close. This is important. I just know it, Edward! Why won't you at least…I don't know…make an EFFORT?"

It was my turn to growl. If she was going to be sarcastic and outwardly hostile, I wasn't going to take it. "I HAVE tried. I HEAR NOTHING BUT YOU ALL!"

Jasper started to try and calm us both, but he stopped when we both shot him dirty glares. It was lucky Esme was outside and Carlisle was at work. Either of them would've stopped our tirade instantly if they heard us. Emmet and Rosalie could care less and were probably enjoying it. Alice took a step closer to me, still extremely angry. She pointed her finger at me, as if that would scold me. "NO, you haven't. You told us you have gone over the three hundred mile perimeter over the last few weeks, but nothing more. What have you seen? What have you smelled? Damn it, Edward. You probably know more than you think, but you never speak to us anymore."

My eyes flashed dangerously as I unconsciously got to my feet and advanced on her. She was insulting my abilities and my need to protect this family just as much as she. I was not going to take that lying down. Jasper was immediately in front of Alice, and he growled at my predatory stance. He pushed at my chest in warning, but his eyes remained wary and dark as I advanced on Alice. His voice was filled with venom, "Back off."

I growled at him, not backing away from either of them. My voice was equally filled with venom as I hissed out, "If I had heard, seen, or smelled anything, I think I would've mentioned it. If you're so sure Alice, then SEE her. She's obviously 'relaxing,' according to you. Go on, and SEE her! Prove to me that she's here, especially if you're going to drive us up the wall about it!"

Alice pushed at Jasper to get to me so that she was now in my face, even if she was considerably shorter than I was. She waved her hands wildly around herself as she vented at me in an overly loud manner, "I CAN'T just see on demand when I'm upset! You KNOW that! Especially her! She's way too defensive! I'm constantly looking for brown hair, golden eyes, a petite frame, woods, and…"

She trailed off as her almost black eyes randomly glazed over. My own dark eyes widened instantly when I suddenly could see a foggy image of the back of a petite brunette female running at vampire speed through a path in the woods. Despite the calm demeanor that was being portrayed by the image, the girl abruptly stopped running and her whole body tensed, almost like she knew we could see her. Without turning around to show us her face, the foggy image disappeared into forced blackness. I was now looking at Alice in shock. She had been right. She had been more than right. I knew that path. I had been ON that path a few weeks prior. It was about two hundred and twenty miles northwest of where we were.

Her dark eyes were wide as she gazed back at me. Her mouth was wide open, but her thoughts were loud, clear, and equally surprised. _Do you believe me now?_

Jasper was looking at us both like we were insane, particularly because our emotions had changed so rapidly. _Ok, I completely missed something._ "Uhhh, guys? What's going on?"

I glanced at him, still completely astonished. My voice echoed my surprise, "Alice is right. She IS still here. She has probably been here the whole time."

Jasper started at this information and looked at Alice for confirmation, who nodded. She looked worried now though. "I think she knew someone could see her just now too. The picture was foggy to begin with, but now I can't see anything anymore."

I was lost in thought for the moment. How could I not have noticed the girl during my checks? I was more than thorough. I suppose she must've been blocking her thoughts, whether by accident or on purpose, but what about smelling her? Or seeing evidence of her somewhere? I had traveled the furthest around our residence because I was the fastest and my ability only worked at particular distances. It seemed impossible that I could've missed her.

Emmet, Rosalie, and Esme had joined us shortly after mine and Alice's revelations. Esme's thoughts were lingering on hearing the tail end of mine and Alice's argument just before her vision and our revelations, and while she disapproved of our arguing, she looked as us both concerned. "It's true? She's really here?"

Alice nodded, but Jasper was looking at me funny as he evaluated my many emotions. _Why are you feeling guilty? She must be able to block talents so don't beat yourself up over not being able to hear her._ I shook my head at him, and Rosalie noticed. "What is it?"

I felt even more guilty when everyone turned their attention to me. Jasper nodded at me encouragingly. _Just tell them. I don't understand why you feel guilty because you couldn't hear her. We know she's here now. We'll try and find her somehow._ I sighed. "It's not just that I couldn't hear her, Jasper… It's that I couldn't even smell her…or find any evidence of her being here. The path I saw in the vision was two hundred and twenty miles northwest of where we are. I was there about three weeks ago now. How could she have masked herself so effectively? How could I have missed her?"

_Wicked. That is so cool._ Emmet looked gleeful. "You couldn't smell her? Or notice anything different in the area?"

Esme looked alarmed. "That's so odd. I think this explains why the Volturi can't seem to track her though."

Alice nodded slowly, but I knew her thoughts were still focusing on trying to find the girl again. "It explains why I can't see her. I think I was right in her getting comfortable though. I was able to see something, even though the image was foggy. I think she knows now though. I don't think I'll be able to see her for a while, even though I'll keep trying."

I frowned, still upset that I had missed something. "I'm going to go back to that spot tomorrow. Maybe I'll notice something."

Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice to relax her. _That's a good plan. Maybe I'll feel her emotions._ "I'll go with you. An extra pair of eyes won't hurt."

Rose looked indifferent, like she didn't understand. "Why is she still here though? I understand hiding from the Volturi, but it seems strange to stay in one place, doesn't it? I just don't get it."

Emmet pushed at her arm playfully, giving her a silly face to get her to smile. "Because she's afraid of you, Rosie, and likes to keep you close."

Rosalie's lips twitched against her will. She would always hold a soft spot for Emmet. When her thoughts echoed how much she liked the way he smiled, I was just happy that she wasn't preaching at me in her head for the moment. A happy Rosalie meant a break for me. Alice shook her head, worried at a new thought. "Wait, what if the Volturi were able to find her too?"

We all looked at each other hesitantly. That could be bad. The distance wasn't all that far from where we resided, if you thought about crossing the distance in vampire speed. I noticed Alice start trying to see the Volturi, but they were all happily chatting in Volterra. We had no idea which guard members he had out searching for the girl so Alice had no one specific to look in on other than the girl herself. If the girl was evading Alice's visions like we suspected, we would never know if the Volturi guard members were able to find her. It seemed like a damned situation.

I sighed and took charge reluctantly, since Carlisle was not present and I was the 'eldest' brother. "Jasper and I will look further into everything tomorrow. Alice, just continue to look for her. She might be curious about who looked in on her and might let you do it again. Let's not worry about the Volturi too much right now, seeing as they are all still sitting happily in Volterra. Their guard members will leave us alone, for the most part."

Everyone took that as finality on the issue, which I was surprised at. Esme nodded at all of us and left to go back outside where she was planting in her new garden. Alice smiled up at me and winked before pulling Jasper out of the room with her. Her thoughts made their way into my head. _Edward, I'm so going to hold this over your head for a while. I was right! Ha! I think, as punishment, you will go with me on my next shopping excursion. You need some new clothes anyway. You should shower too, by the way. You smell bad._

I rolled my eyes as she laughed evilly inside of her head at her little jests, which were distinctly untrue because I had already showered that day. I knew deep down that she was just happy to have me out and about again. I didn't really want to be this way though, not if I didn't have her standing next to me. Some days, it felt like she was right there anyway, but then I would look, and she wouldn't be. I looked at my right side just then, instantly frowning as I took in the empty space. My eyes must've been brooding because Rosalie cleared her throat, causing me to look up into her expectant eyes. She looked me over critically before telling Emmet to go wait for her in the garage. Emmet gave her an odd look at the request, but then glanced back at me with a feigned frightened look. He then just gave her a mock salute before punching me in the arm as he blew past me at vampire speed. His parting thoughts were louder than necessary. _Ha ha, Eddie! Good luck!_

I just muttered, "Must he call me Eddie all of the time?"

Rosalie answered me in her head, as she continued to look me over carefully. _Yes. It's his form of endearment._

I gazed at her briefly, but I already knew what she wanted to discuss. In fact, she had been shouting it in my head for years now. Nothing had changed all that much. I spoke at her flatly, "No, Rose."

She frowned. _Just hear me out one more time, ok? Please? I mean…I have a few extra things to say, if that's alright._

I looked back at her a bit wary, as she began counting in her head, probably holding back from starting her usual speech. It was interesting because she normally never sought my permission or complete attention like she was doing just then. I nodded at her slightly, but that was all she really needed. She started hesitantly, _I know you don't want to talk about anything, and I know the pain will never go away, but I, along with the rest of the family obviously, want you to be happy, Edward, so I want to say this and have you hear me…really hear me._

My eyes darkened because this didn't sound like anything different, but she was quick to placate me with her hand out in a soothing manner. _No, I know she was your everything. I think I get that now, even though I never really understood it when it had occurred. I've tried putting myself in your place right now, and if I ever lost Emmet, I'm not sure where I would be either— lost, devastated, and in an endless circle of memories that will never go away. Looking back, a part of me wishes I had gotten to know her better, like both you and Alice had. Since I didn't, I can only go by what I knew of her from my observations and from what I've been told by you, Alice, and the rest of the family._

I watched her curiously, considering I had gotten these thoughts from her in a scattered context before. She must've been hiding some of this from me for some time now since I had never seen her this put-together or serious about the issue so I tilted my head to show her that I was still listening. She took a deep breath before continuing, looking wary of whatever my reaction would be. She must not have asked Alice to see how the conversation would turn out, probably to keep her from looking in on whatever she had to say. _Edward, she loved you, and a part of me was jealous that she was the one who captured your heart and not me, even though I feel now that this was childish of me, especially because I have Emmet. I shouldn't have begrudged you your happiness then. At the same time, my arguments still stand— she was a danger to this family as a human. I find myself agreeing and disagreeing with your decision to leave her, but I feel your efforts to protect her were more than valid. She did live her life, Edward. Her time was up the moment she met you. You gave her more time and made that time better by being in it. I know you feel guilty for her death and how you left her, but there's nothing that can be done of it now. She would want you to be happy and to live your life. What I want you to know is that while she is gone, you still have us and we all care for you greatly. Have you noticed how much happier Esme has been since you came out of your room? And Alice? There's a spice of life in her eyes again. The whole household seems lighter._

I looked down, troubled. I didn't want to hear what she was telling me, even though it was all true. My angel's horrified, big brown eyes when I had mentioned to her that if anything had happened to her I would go off myself like Romeo flew into my head. She would have wanted me to live and be happy, or at least would have wanted me to make an effort to try and be happy. I thought about all that Rosalie had said before speaking softly, "It doesn't matter to me anymore."

Rosalie's eyes saddened. _Without her, you mean? I suppose I can understand that if I think of myself as having lost Emmet again. But think, Edward… If I had lost Emmet and would be feeling just as you are feeling right now, would you let me just waste away? Would you let me go to Volterra? Don't tell me you've stopped thinking about that because I'm not stupid. Everyone else may think you're not still that depressed, but I've known you a lot longer than they have._

I nodded at her slightly and felt my shoulders slump. I would never have let Rosalie do anything like I had been thinking if she had been in my situation. It was as I had already thought earlier. If I had to live without my girl, it would only be with and for my family. I already knew this and had begrudgingly accepted that fact. That didn't make the future without her any more appealing, but it did make things less lonely and less unbearable. I did have people who I cared for and who cared for me still left, even if it wasn't the same as it had been with…her. "I understand what you mean. Don't worry about…your concerns."

Rosalie nodded at me and gave me a small smile. _Good. I know it will be difficult, but we're all here, ok? You're not alone, and you never will be._

I nodded at her before starting to make my way back upstairs. "Yeah, and thanks, Rose."

She was already making her way out to meet Emmet in the garage, but I could hear her happy thoughts as she left. _Anytime, dear brother. Don't be a stranger._ She paused for a moment before I heard an additional stern scolding, _And DON'T ignore me anymore!_

I couldn't resist a small chuckle at that. I could tell that Esme had heard it outside as her thoughts seemed to echo her enjoyment at hearing evidence that I was feeling happier, even if it was only for that moment. As soon as I was in the confines of my room, however, everything felt heavier again. I closed my eyes and wearily laid down on my couch. As I mulled over everything Rose and I had discussed along with the knowledge of the two couples somewhere in the house— happy and together, no less— I couldn't help but continue feeling depressed. I took a few minutes to bask in remembering how the love of my existence had laughed and how she had made my days considerably brighter.

My thoughts eventually turned to the situation that lay before us all. I thought back to the foggy vision Alice had had earlier. The brunette female was hard to make out, but I tried to focus on the surroundings in the image. I would try and see if her scent lingered in any of those places. If she had let her guard down by letting Alice see her, perhaps her scent might also suddenly linger faintly. She couldn't hide forever. Either we would find her, or the Volturi would. For her sake, I hoped it was us who found her first.


	5. Chapter 4: The Lingering Scent

_I feel like a hero, and you are my heroine._

_Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?_

'_Cuz I feel a weakness coming on,_

_Never felt so good to be so wrong._

_I had my heart on lockdown,_

_And then you turned me around._

_And I'm feeling like a newborn child,_

_Every time I get a chance to see you smile._

_It's not complicated;_

_I was so jaded._

_Then you caught me off guard…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 4: The Lingering Scent

I had remained in my room all night, but by morning, I was itching to get out of the house. I had been going over my last few months of searching for this girl in my head and had come to the conclusion that if I just retraced my steps on the northwest side and continued further west, I would probably hit something, considering the path the girl had been taking in the vision. I changed quickly and made my way downstairs where not only Jasper was waiting, but so were Alice, Rosalie, and Emmet. Emmet grinned up at me as I paused on the stairwell. _About time, bro._ "We didn't think just you and Jazz should have all the fun, particularly when this girl sounds so awesome."

Rosalie rolled her eyes at Emmet fondly. "We all felt like exploring. We were supposed to start school months ago, but ever since all of this happened and we decided to push things back until this next fall, we've all been cooped up. We'll help you look around."

Alice winked at me after linking her arm with Jasper's. Like usual, she didn't bother with talking to me out loud. _Lead the way, maestro._

I just rolled my eyes at her calling me that as I finished my jaunt down the stairs. I hadn't played music in years so the term didn't seem all that fitting anymore. "Let's go then. We're heading northwest." I paused before looking at them all in challenge. "Keep up…if you can."

Emmet easily took the bait and took off. _You're on, Eddie!_

I waited for a full five seconds before tearing off after him. After all, he deserved a head start, seeing as I would surpass him with ease. Alice was laughing gleefully in her head as she ran behind us. _It's been so long since we've all been out together like this. I've missed this so much._

My heart pained as I passed Emmet and bumped into him on purpose, causing a loud crack to echo throughout the air. She was right. It had been a long time since all five of us had done something like this together. While I wasn't completely happy and whole without her by my side, I was…resolved…to remain in my family's lives and keep them happy. We easily made the trek to the path I had remembered within minutes. I got there first, naturally, and stopped. I began to look around critically at the area in question as I heard my brothers and sisters closing in on me. Jasper got there next, soon followed by Alice, Rosalie, and Emmet. Jasper looked around thoughtfully. _So this was the path? Interesting. I still haven't sensed anyone's emotions other than everyone's here._ "Which way was she headed in the vision again, Edward?"

I pointed further west along the path, and both the girls started walking slowly up the path while the guys walked off the path on either side, all of them searching for anything that might be a trace of the mysterious girl. I trailed behind hesitantly, watching my family with sad eyes. It was nice to see them all looking so relaxed and unconcerned. I made my way up the path too, soon darting around all of them more quickly, looking at specific things I had wanted to look at again. It wasn't long before I had made it ahead of them all, and I paused as I stretched my gaze across the wide open clearing in front of me. This was where I had stopped the last time I had been here. The clearing had reminded me of our meadow.

My heart ached stronger then as those memories had been some of my favorites. This clearing was considerably larger than the meadow had been, of course, but any open space in the middle of a forest instilled the memories of our meadow to me. What was odd about the clearing now that I was looking at it more closely was that there had been several trees knocked down since the last time I had been here. It seemed to make the clearing even bigger than it had been before. I made sure to mention that to my family when they finally reached me.

Alice looked at me curiously. _Really?_ "Why would she knock down some trees?"

Jasper shrugged, offering a sly smile while enjoying an interesting memory of Alice yelling at him while they had been out hunting in which she had pulled out a tree and threw it aside in her anger. "Who knows? Maybe she just likes to take her frustrations out on trees like you do, Alice."

I could hear him snickering in his head and smiled slightly when I saw Alice turn on her husband with her hands on her hips. _Is that so? He's so dead._ "Watch yourself."

Jasper smiled wickedly and immediately growled playfully at her before leaping in her direction. Alice had obviously seen it coming and moved out of the way. They soon were play-fighting in the clearing. Rosalie and Emmet looked relaxed as they walked together along the edge of the clearing, sniffing and looking closely at some of the fallen trees. I also ignored Jasper and Alice and chose to cross the clearing to get to the other side in order to venture further west like I had planned to earlier.

I had just started walking further up the continued path when a particular scent hit me. Hit wasn't exactly strong enough of a word. It barreled into me with such a force that I had practically stopped thinking altogether. I instantly froze. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible.

Jasper was at my side in an instant due to my obvious shift in emotions, and his eyes watched me worriedly. _What's wrong? Why are you feeling so crazed…almost hungry, but not. You're angry and frustrated too. _"What is it, Edward?"

I watched him start looking frantically at everything around me in order to find the source for why I had gone from being mildly relaxed to a plethora of emotions within seconds. My other siblings had reached us both at that point, and they were also concerned at seeing me standing so stoically and looking so incredulous. Alice stared up at me, her golden eyes wide and curious. "Edward, ummm, why aren't you breathing?"

They all turned to me, looking surprised at this revelation. I just managed to sputter out, "You can't SMELL that?!?!?!"

As I inhaled once more, the scent seemed to permeate through me, making me feel more alive than I had felt in a very long time. It was extremely faint, but I would be able to notice that scent anywhere. It was HER scent, only it was slightly different somehow. There was a new uniqueness to it, but it was still intoxicating in the worst way. How this scent would drive me mad for all eternity. I quickly held my breath again. I didn't want to feel any more pain than I already felt at my immense loss. How this particular smell, so close to what my beautiful girl had smelled like that it was just like smelling it again, was even here to begin with was what confused me most. I felt…hungry…in so many different ways, much more than just the thirst for her blood I had felt back then. I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to relax for Jasper's benefit, although it wasn't working all that much.

Jasper's eyes were wild as he looked at me. My emotions had to be driving him crazy. His words were immensely confused as he tried to sort through my many emotions in his head. _Anger, Frustration, Pain, Confusion, Love, Lust, Apprehension, Hope, Dread, Fear…Thirst… Edward, you're almost too much for me right now._ "What are you smelling that has your emotions so convoluted?"

Alice immediately started sniffing the air and moving around me. She moved up the trail before she stopped abruptly just as I had. _No way._ Her voice was confused as she murmured softly, "That's not possible."

She sniffed again, just to be sure, before she turned to me with surprise on her face. She immediately shook her head, her eyes locked onto mine. _It's not her, Edward. It's different. I'll admit that it's close, but it is…different. I mean…_ Her thoughts gave away that she wasn't entirely sure that the scent was all that different, but she spoke carefully trying to mask her thoughts from me, "It smells…familiar, BUT it's just not possible, although I do believe we've found our girl. The scent is extremely faint. We probably all would've missed it if there wasn't such a…ummm…familiar quality to it."

She was watching me closely now, wondering what I was thinking. I was nodding along with what she had said, but my head was going in a thousand different directions. It wasn't possible, was it? Dare I even give in to hope…or was it more dread that she had been placed in this existence? Had her disappearance really been because of…no. NO. I couldn't let myself go down this train of thought. I would only be hurt further in the end. It just wasn't possible anyway. I would've known. I would've found some kind of a lead in this direction. If it had been true, she would've found us. She would've come to me. Wouldn't she? I ignored the memory of the painful acceptance in her dark eyes when I had told her that I hadn't loved her. She hadn't believed that too completely, right? Not enough that she wouldn't have been able to come to me if something like this had happened, right? Right?

My thoughts became even more desperate. There had been nothing— absolutely nothing to suggest this outcome. Alice was right. It just wasn't possible. I refused to think it true. The scent was…different. A part of me pushed back the thoughts that screamed against that notion, which stated that the scent was still very much her and only her alone. I breathed out slowly as I calmed down. When I breathed back in, the scent continued to overwhelm me horribly, but I pretended that it didn't. I was a good actor, but Jasper was still looking at me oddly because he knew I was experiencing some kind of cruel torment he couldn't fully understand just yet and I would be telling him nothing about it.

I forced myself to look pensive and speak evenly, "Of course. At least we know the girl is somewhere near here. However, the scent might have been picked up by someone else so we're going to have to watch the area now."

I quickly swallowed the venom pooling in my mouth, hoping none of them would notice. It was odd, considering I wasn't even all that thirsty for blood at the moment. I also forced myself to breathe only in very, very small increments to make myself seem normal. Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmet had all picked up on the scent now, and they were looking at me in shock. Their thoughts gave me their own conclusions about the scent.

Rosalie looked at me sadly. _Oh, Edward. I know it's sad, but remember, we're all here for you. The scent is extremely faint. I don't see the complete connection with her though. It could easily just be similar._ The fact that she didn't sound all that sure was what stood out the most.

Jasper seemed to be more understanding now. He sent a small wave of calm at me, but kept his look apprehensive because he wasn't sure if I would allow him to do that. _Please, Edward. It's hard to think when you're all riled up like this. I promise that when we get back, I'll leave you be. _He paused before finally stating a bit distractedly, "Do you think there have been others in the area lately? We didn't find any other scents near here so far. Let's check around a bit more. If there are other scents further out, they may have found this one if they were looking closely."

Emmet shrugged, but his eyes were troubled. _It smells just like her, but Alice is right. It's just not possible. I'm so sorry, Edward._ "I'll head up the path this way. You want to come with me, Edward?"

I nodded quickly because I needed to get away from there. I followed Emmet at a forced leisurely pace in an effort to give off the impression that I was completely fine. Jasper was the only one not buying it. _You are NOT fooling me, Edward, and probably not Alice either. I know the smell is close…too close. However, it's not her. It CAN'T be her. She's gone, Edward._

I closed my eyes briefly, forcing myself to keep my rage at bay at the finality of his tone and the truth in his words. Emmet was walking with me away from the maddening scent, and I knew it was a strategic move. He was the strongest out of all of us and could hold me down if need be. He didn't want me to attack anyone, and he wanted to give Jasper some time away from me. I breathed better as we walked further away. Just as her scent had dissipated when I had been away from her for a time in the past, I was finally able to breathe clear air again. A part of me ached at losing the heady scent after finding it again. It may have been faint, but to me, it was as strong as an arctic wind.

At hearing me breathe easier, I heard Emmet's calm thoughts as he sniffed the air lightly. _Better, Eddie?_

I gave him a short nod and a look when he called me Eddie in his head for the millionth time. He just grinned goofily before his eyes suddenly became giddy. "Wait, can you SMELL that?"

I watched him warily as he threw my words back in my face, thinking he was teasing me at the worst of times, but then I sniffed the air and quickly realized what he was so excited about. It was a bear. I rolled my eyes at him playfully before nudging him to go take it. I would be ok now. Not great, not better, but ok. "Go, Emmet. Sheesh."

I watched him go quickly and listened to him planning out his attack on the unfortunate bear before I let my face fall into the torture I was feeling underneath everything. How was it possible that I could smell something so similar…so close…so EXACT…to what my beautiful girl had smelled like? How could this random girl smell like that if it wasn't…her? I thought back to the blurry image of the brunette vampire running along the path in Alice's vision. It was too blurry for me to determine anything definitive. The brunette thing could just be coincidence. The scent thing could just be coincidence. I felt extremely uneasy as I realized that this girl could block me too, even though she could also block what seemed to be everyone else. All coincidence? Right?

The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. I would be thinking on this for a long time. This girl had now become an obsession of sorts. I had to find her. I had to, even if it was just to prove to myself that this wasn't…her. Besides, it was impossible. Wasn't it? Who would've done it? It hadn't been my family. They would never have been able to hide such a thing like changing her on purpose from me. That left another vampire to do the act, which had never seemed plausible when we had all tried to piece together her disappearance those many years ago.

The only vampires that had known of her had been the Denali clan, Laurent, and Victoria. The Denali clan would never have harmed her, being vegetarians like us and knowing how much she meant to me, a friend. Although Tanya had always had a thing for me, she would never do something like hurt the girl I obviously loved just to spite me. The rest of them, Irina, Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar, would never have done so either.

Laurent had been staying in Denali when we had been there, and he had been dabbling with the idea of becoming a vegetarian— although I personally knew that he had been more fond of Irina than anything else. He was an unlikely candidate anyway though because while he had fed off of humans, he probably would not have wanted to incite the wrath of my family, or me especially. That much had been clear when I had been there in Denali. He had seen how much I still loved her despite having left her, and he would have known that if anything had happened to her and I had found out about it, I would have been after whoever had done it in a heartbeat. I know he left Denali before my girl had disappeared, but I doubt he had made his way back to Washington. Or had I been mistaken? What if he had gone back? He would've known, at the very least, that my family and I would not be back there for a long while. Could he have fooled me so?

Victoria hadn't seemed all that likely either. Despite hearing from Laurent that Victoria had been James' mate and that she might be out for revenge, Sam Uley's mind, when Carlisle and I had gone to speak with him about her disappearance, had revealed to me that she had been killed after venturing onto Quileute land after murdering some hikers. That thought now made me uneasy. Victoria had been in the area around the time of my girl's disappearance. That didn't make me feel better. In fact, it made the possibility that this girl could, in fact, be my girl.

And what if Laurent had met up with Victoria and let her know everything that had occurred up in Denali? They had been friends, or had at least travelled together for a time. Would he have helped her? And if he had helped Victoria or had gone back to Washington on his own— whether or not he had met Victoria on the way— that meant either one of them could have done something to my girl.

I tried not to hope, but it seemed futile now that the idea had been stirred. At the same time, I felt more than a little hurt. If it was…her…why hadn't she tried to find me? Or Alice? Or any of my family? Was she angry with me for leaving her? Did she not think I still loved her? Did she really believe me when I lied to her about everything, even though I had told her how much I loved her tons of times? If I ever regretted telling her that lie, it was nothing compared to the regret and despair I was feeling now. I knew she had believed me when I had told her that I didn't love her. She had believed it. I knew she had never felt like she was good enough for me, but if she had changed, wouldn't she have come to me anyway, even thinking that way?

My steps faltered to a dead stop as I realized one more thing. One thing I couldn't fathom possibly happening. It would be like ripping my heart out and stabbing it a zillion times. What if, after her transformation, she hadn't even remembered me? I let out a small cry at the thought. Could the world be so evil that her human memories had faded so severely that she didn't remember me at all? Could that be why she never thought to look for me? I slumped against a tree before sliding down to the ground in defeat.

I didn't know what to think anymore. It seemed impossible all around. All of it. I shouldn't have even dared to hope for even these last few moments. If this all turned out to be different and she was still very much gone, I will feel the loss harder than I ever have before. I didn't realize how long I had been there until Alice suddenly walked up to me slowly, and I realized that it had gotten dark out. She gave me an encouraging look and held her hand out to me. _Come on, Edward. Let's go back home, ok?_

I nodded and let her pull me up to my feet. She started to run slowly, obviously waiting to make sure I would be running with her, and so, I did. I ran quickly through the woods back towards our house. It was normally exhilarating. Running had always been a release for me. This time, however, I was running from everything— all of my thoughts, all of my worries, and all of my pain. I faintly heard Alice naming all of the capitols from various countries and picturing various things about each of the cities as she ran. I knew she was trying to think of things other than what I was trying not to think about so she wouldn't remind me. Like I could ever forget anyway. As much as I tried to do otherwise, my thoughts continued to be of her. They were always of her, only now, they were muddled with those of this mysterious girl. My resolve crumbled as I felt the hope I had tried to wish away creep up inside of me. I had to find this girl. I had to. If I was to have my hopes crushed to pieces, then so be it, but there was the other alternative— that beyond amazing alternative that maybe, just maybe, she, my beautiful angel, was indeed the mysterious girl. That made the risk more than worth it.


	6. Chapter 5: The Truth

_You have found her,_

_Now go and get her._

_Remember to let her into your heart,_

_Then you can start to make it better…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 5 – The Truth

As the days passed, the angrier and more frustrated I became. I had thought of little else. To me, there was little else.

Alice had seen nothing further. This, of course, made me angry, but it was anger that I couldn't take out on my sister. This made me desperately wish that this girl, especially if she was my girl, would let Alice see her just so we could find her before the Volturi did. Didn't she realize just what kind of danger she was in? Didn't she know that we were trying to help her?

I knew deep down that this girl probably didn't know, and that was what was making me so frustrated and scared for her. All the girl probably understood was that someone had looked in on her, and because of her problems with the Volturi and others coming after her in the past, she was going to make sure it never happened again. I knew that this was a more than fair assessment, but it didn't make me feel any better. How were we supposed to find her then? And if she was my girl and she was still in the area even after Alice's foggy vision of her, couldn't she smell us? Didn't she know who we were? My heart fell to the bottom of my feet as I again pushed aside the thought that she might not remember us after the transformation and might find our scents to be threatening. That just couldn't happen. It would be too cruel.

Then, there was the fact that the Volturi had called our family to begin with, as if we would help them if this was my angel. My eyes narrowed, and I couldn't help growling viciously under my breath. If this girl was my beautiful girl, Aro and the rest of the Volturi knew for a fact that my family and I would never hand her over if we found her. Aro knew everything about her from me, and that made me feel worse. Guilt seemed to well up inside of me in waves. What if my knowledge had helped him get as far as he had in finding her or understanding her blocking capabilities? Any vampire that had crossed this girl's path would know what she looked like, and all Aro would have to do was see what she looked like from this other vampire and compare it with my very detailed memory of my girl's appearance. It would have been an obvious connection. I had always known that if anything like this had occurred, her becoming a vampire and all, no matter how much I had despised the thought of taking away her humanity, I had known that she wouldn't have changed very much. She was ridiculously beautiful as a human so the change wouldn't have needed to alter her appearance all that much. But that just made it so much worse.

The thought of Aro knowing about her and her connection to me and my family made me practically livid. I suddenly heard a cracking and crumpling sound, but quickly realized that I had accidentally broken the remaining arm of my couch when I wasn't paying attention. I had already broken the other arm the other day. With a frustrated sigh, I immediately leapt to my feet and began pacing in my room instead. At least if I was standing up, I might not break anything else.

Aro would have had all of the information he needed, and that meant his calling us for 'help' must have some ulterior motive if this girl was indeed my girl. Did the Volturi want to pick a fight with us even though they never have before now? Was Jasper right that Aro had only kept us close because the best move is always to keep your enemies closest? Did the Volturi think now was the time to eradicate all of the 'vegetarians,' particularly if we now had an immensely powerful vampire on our side?

I paced back and forth at a faster than human pace for a few minutes before falling back onto my broken couch in a huff. I ignored the fact that I had splintered one of the legs this time. My brooding thoughts and actions had drawn the attention of my entire family, considering they were constantly thinking up at me. I had started playing music in my room again, but even the loud rock music playing in the background couldn't mask the thoughts from them anymore.

_Edward, must you play that God awful racket? It sounds like someone screaming enough to make their voice hoarse. I'm about two seconds away from coming up there and causing you to see some sense. I know that this girl needs to be found, but you are not helping with all of this angst. No one can think clearly with that monstrous noise you call music blasting in our ears— well, except for you apparently. Please? What have I done to you? Wait, don't answer that…_

_I'm trying to see her, Edward. Please, stop this. I'm doing the best that I can. I know it's not enough, but I __am__ trying._

_Hey, Eddie— I can only control Rose for so long. We can't even escape your music in the garage. You know that's her place to calm down, and well, it's not working. Jasper is running back and forth outside looking furious so you and everyone else must be causing him some stress. Please relax, even if just for a moment. Give him a break._

…_can't stop thinking about her. Is she alright? Oh, if it is her, I hope she's ok. That poor girl, all alone out there. Alice just has to see her. I can't stand the thought that she has no one right now when she's always had us, even if she didn't know it. Oh, and my son. Will he ever have a moment free of all of his pain? This is so not fair to him._

I closed my eyes in pain as I knew that Esme was again re-thinking my decision to leave her and whether or not it was for the best. I couldn't stand making her feel so unsure of herself. A part of me desperately wanted to go make her smile. I hated making her feel bad. Maybe I could go play the piano for the first time in ages. However, while escaping behind playing music on the piano was one way of stopping my thought processes altogether, there was no joy or energy in the thought of me even attempting to do something I had avoided in doing for so long. I just couldn't do it.

But then, what if we had it all wrong? What if this wasn't my girl at all? What if she was just someone completely random? I couldn't imagine what my already bleeding heart would go through when all my hopes were lost in one swipe. The similarities between this girl and mine were too close for them to be merely coincidences, or that's what I kept telling myself time and time again. I again began remembering all of my happier moments from so long ago, but even that did little to help. In fact, it made things worse. If this girl was not my girl, even my memories wouldn't be able to make me happy again. As my thoughts turned from intense anger, frustration, and pain to depression, sadness, and guilt, there was an enraged roar from outside before I heard the front door slam open and unhinge as something flew up the stairs at vampire speed.

_That's it! I can't take it anymore! It's done. It's over. I'm finishing it. NOW._

I was on my feet and in a predatory stance just as Jasper barreled through the door in an effort to get to me. He eyes were crazed from the zoo of emotions he was currently dealing with. His distracted persona made him hasty and his first attempts to pounce on me were easy for me to evade as his thoughts gave him away. However, he suddenly thought one thing and did the exact opposite, catching me around the middle. This knocked both of us into my couch with uncalculated force, causing my couch to give way to the pressures I had already hit it with over the last few days. The couch was finally nothing more than pieces. I growled and struggled against Jasper's hold, but then a huge wave of calm hit me, forcing me to calm and become lax instantaneously. Jasper's power was next to impossible to counter when he was actually touching you.

I wanted to growl at him, but found that I couldn't as I was no longer angry. I was no longer even depressed. In fact, this was the most normal I had felt since before I had smelled the mysterious scent in the woods just days prior. I knew that this wouldn't last for very long, but the feeling was kind of nice, and I did find that I could think more clearly in this frame of mind. I began to feel guilty for causing so many problems for everyone with my behavior, but I quickly felt another, smaller, wave of calm as Jasper moved away from me, looking completely exhausted. He shot me a knowing look, but didn't really appear all that upset anymore. _Don't feel guilty, Edward. We all want this to be over with, just as much as you. We're all worried. However, you are the one who can hold us together. When you're emotions get the better of you, I can no longer help everyone else. Let's just give thinking things out logically a try, ok? Everything isn't as dismal as it appears. There's still hope left._

My loud rock music suddenly shut off with a loud crack as Alice slapped her hand over the power button. I winced when I realized she had broken my sound system. A nice hand-sized imprint shown clearly over the power button. I supposed I deserved it. She pointed her finger scoldingly at the both of us. "Must you both? Honestly."

I looked up into her eyes, expecting her to be furious, only to find that she wasn't. She actually looked…amused. Esme made her way upstairs at a more leisurely pace. I heard her thoughts as she approached. _…can't control themselves for five seconds. I'm sure I'm going to have to redecorate his whole room. At least Alice will have fun picking out all of his new things online, a nice distraction for her, I'd say._ She stopped in the doorway, surveying the damage with a sigh. "And what do you two have to say for yourselves?"

Jasper and I shared a glance with each other, grinning slightly at finding both Esme and Alice looking at us like they were attempting to scold us. I ran a hand through my hair sheepishly. "Ummm…sorry?"

Jasper nodded along with my sentiments, but he threw in wide, innocent eyes in his attempt at looking apologetic. Esme just sighed and left the room, not saying anything more to either of us. Her thoughts echoed that she was just glad that all four walls of my room were still in tact. I couldn't help grinning when I heard that. Alice's snicker brought my attention back to her, and I saw a vision of her sitting at a computer, happily buying whatever she wanted for my room even though I was protesting behind her. I rolled my eyes. "Alice, please keep your purchases to a minimum this time. I don't think I need those ugly lamps you were looking at on the computer in that vision."

She pouted at me briefly before turning to her husband when she realized that her pouty face wouldn't work on me like it does with him. "Come on, Jazz. I'm glad to see your feeling better…"

Jasper's smile and subsequent dirty thoughts were more than I could take. I placed a hand over my eyes, as if that would mask the horrendous images of my sister. "Ok, that's enough, Jasper. I think you've more than made your revenge."

I heard them both laughing to themselves as they left my room, but then as I gazed around, I quickly realized I had nowhere to sit and my sound system was busted. I sighed and hoped that Alice wouldn't hesitate in ordering new things for my room, no matter how much I despised her ridiculous taste. If she got me a nice couch and a nice sound system, anything else I could ignore until we moved. I could always break some of the stuff so I could have an excuse to throw it out. I smiled at the thought as I made my way downstairs and into the living room, but my smile fell when I heard Alice shout, "You better not purposely break anything I buy you, Edward! Mark my words!"

I winced and muttered, "Damn."

Emmet met me in the living room, looking at me with obvious amusement. _Way to go, Edward. Always pissing off the empath. At least he's probably much happier at the moment._ I rolled my eyes as I tuned out both my brother and sister upstairs. I turned back to Emmet. "I don't want to think about that, Emmet. Thank you for the clever reminder of what I planned on ignoring."

Emmet smirked. "Since, from the sound of things upstairs, you'll be chilling down here for a while, want to play that playstation 7 game I've been trying to get you to play?"

His eyes were all lit up, and now that my emotions had been cleared up for the first time in days, I remembered my resolve to make sure I put my family's happiness first and to try and put my depression deep within myself. I just nodded resignedly, but smiled when Emmet was practically giddy. _You are so going down, Eddie. This game is amazing!_

Even I had to admit that the racing game was pretty awesome, and being the reigning champ at racing games, I couldn't help feeling mildly cocky after I beat Emmet more often than not. It just made him all the more competitive though. Rosalie came out of the garage when Emmet broke his first controller after losing to me spectacularly. It was a good thing we always bought tons of extra controllers, or Emmet would be out shopping with Alice religiously. Rose was enjoying watching the two of us play the game, but I knew that she was also quietly happy that I was doing something other than wallowing. Esme was of the same. I knew she had stepped in and out of the living room with happier thoughts than she had had of late. I had to admit that racing a pretend car at high speeds and blowing shit up was a decent enough distraction from all of my dismal thoughts. They never fully went away, of course, but after Jasper's forceful intervention, I was trying to keep my emotions from getting the better of me, at least, for now. After beating Emmet an additional five time in a row, I threw in the towel and just laid back on the couch, attempting to relax. It would take a considerable amount of my concentration.

Emmet continued to play the game, only this time against the computer, which he was easily able to beat. The computer was designed to win most of the time against humans, but with Emmet's vampire reflexes, the computer stood no chance. Rosalie was curled up in one of our armchairs, reading a manual about the latest and fastest Audi model, the R20. I had mulled over picking up one of those, but I didn't really go anywhere anymore. I suppose if I ever decided to go back to school, and that would not be anytime soon considering, I might have to pick up a new car again. Rose let me borrow one of her cars whenever I felt the urge to go drive fast anyway, considering if there was one person in this house she trusted behind the wheel of one of her cars, it was me.

Jasper and Alice eventually came down to join us, and I realized that this moment was reminiscent of before when we all had headed out into the forest together. Everyone looked happy and relaxed. I wished I could be that way. I was relaxed for the most part, compared to how I had been, but my worries, anger, frustration, pain, and depression hadn't disappeared. I was merely trying to keep everything at bay by concentrating on being and looking relaxed. I was barely succeeding. I knew everyone else had the same concerns about everything going on, but I had to admit that Jasper was right. There was nothing we could do about it until something happened. We just needed to be prepared.

_You're brooding again._

Alice's voice caused me to open my eyes. I blinked over at her and found her looking me over critically. No one else really noticed. Rose was reading intently while both Jasper and Emmet had started taking bets over their game-playing. I frowned, giving her evidence I had heard her. She sighed inwardly before leaning back against the love seat she was currently taking up. _I've been watching the Volturi, and they've been looking extremely happy. It's kind of unnerving. I just thought you should know. I don't want you to drive Jazz up the wall again or anything, but well, you know it's next to impossible to hide things from you for too long. I don't really want to think in Greek or something right now._

I tilted my head and gave her a look in an effort to get her to tell me more if she knew anything else. She smiled slightly back at the game screen when she noticed Jasper was winning for the first time ever, but her thoughts were dismal as they continued to come at me. _Not much else to say. We'll find her. I'm pretty confident about that. I just wish I was more helpful._

The downhearted look in her eyes as she stared furtively at the game screen made me feel horrible. She was taking this all upon herself, and she shouldn't. I knew my actions over the last few days probably made it seem like I blamed her for not being able to find this girl, and that was far from the truth. I cleared my throat to get her attention again. I kept my face neutral as the others gave me a passing glance, but when I only had Alice's attention, I shook my head once purposefully and gave her a look that expressed my disfavor over her thoughts. She gave me a weak smile in return. _Thanks for not blaming me, Edward, but I still kind of blame myself anyway. Poor, Jazz. He's had to deal with my feeling guilty, you and your mixed up emotions, Rose getting mad, Emmet being silly, and Carlisle and Esme's worry all at the same time. No wonder he's gone out running by himself these last few nights. I'm glad that he's finally getting a break. I love seeing him smile again._

Her loving glance back at her husband made me feel slightly jealous, but I covered it up quickly so Jasper wouldn't notice and get confused. It wasn't that I was jealous of her affection for him over me— no, of course not. It was rather that she had someone special to think about and care for. I was very much alone, and I now knew just what I was missing after having been with…her. It was impossible for me to think about how I had survived alone before I had met my beautiful girl. Now, there was just this empty feeling without her. I continuously buried my jealousy over that matter because I would never begrudge any of my family the happiness within their own relationships that they deserve. I sighed out loud, forgetting that I was in a house full of vampires. They all gave me odd looks, but I just closed my eyes and again focused on remaining as relaxed as possible so as to not alert Jasper or Alice of anything out of the ordinary.

That was how Carlisle found us when he finally got home from his practice a few hours later. He looked around the room thoughtfully, giving me a raised eyebrow. _Out and about today, Edward?_ "What brought this on?"

Esme came in the room just then, her eyes displaying her excitement and relief at Carlisle's arrival. She walked into his waiting arms in greeting before giving both Jasper and me mildly disapproving glares, even though I knew from her thoughts that she wasn't really that upset at all. "Jasper and Edward were fighting upstairs. Edward's things need to be replaced now."

Carlisle gave us both a look, but even he was merely amused by the situation. _Well, that's entertaining. At least he's feeling better._ "Is that right? Well, at least the house is still standing because Emmet chose not to get involved." He then turned toward Alice, his brow furrowing. "Any news?"

Alice shook her head, and her thoughts immediately became guilty again. This time, I spoke out loud, not really caring about the disruption in the conversation, "Stop it."

Everyone turned to me, but only Alice understood what I meant. I just closed my eyes, ignoring them. I heard Rosalie huff at me in her head, but Emmet was curious. "Who were you talking to, Eddie?"

I shrugged, remaining in my feigned relaxed state. That was until Emmet began thinking of hitting me to get me to 'wake up.' As soon as I felt the mild woosh of wind near my face from his arm coming down, my hand leapt out and grabbed his arm, pushing it aside easily. I cracked open one of my eyes, glaring at him. "Nice try, Emmet."

Jasper sighed, finally answering our father more thoroughly, "Alice hasn't had any visions about the girl today; I've calmed Edward, but I think he's faking his calm right now; Emmet is too happy; Rosalie's avoiding the situation by immersing herself in cars; Esme has been happy to see us all doing a bit better; and I am finally feeling more peaceful so thank you, Edward."

I opened my eyes finally, smirking at his assessment and humorous gratitude. "You're welcome."

Carlisle was concerned. _You're faking your calm, Edward? Why? _"Are you ok, Edward?"

I shrugged, but answered honestly, "No better, no less."

Everyone exchanged glances at this, but said nothing out loud. Most began worrying about me in their heads again, but Carlisle's voice was the one that stuck out. _He shouldn't have to fake being calm or relaxed. I know this situation is high alert, but we're doing all that we can._ I sighed out loud, waving everyone off. "Stop it, all of you. I'll be fine. Really." I paused before adding with a tiny half-smile, "Although, I would appreciate a new couch…"

They all started snickering at that, but then all hell broke loose. Alice froze on the love seat, and a crystal clear vision interrupted every innocent thought that was coming from everyone else. The petite brunette vampire was running furiously and wildly through a path in the woods. It was obvious that she was afraid and was running from someone. There were finally sounds in the vision, and you could hear her uneven breathing as she ran, but also the sound of more than just her set of footsteps. As the sounds of other footsteps grew closer, she began waving her hands jerkily at her sides, causing multiple trees to uproot themselves and fall directly into her wake to slow whoever it was down. The girl soon broke into the wide open clearing about three hundred miles west of our house, where we had gone merely days before. Instead of continuing her efforts to get away, she abruptly stopped right in the center of the clearing and turned around to face whoever was coming after her. It was the first clear look at the girl, and although her honey-colored eyes were narrowed and fierce, they were the same beautiful brown eyes I would remember anywhere. There was a brief pause as she stood there as more than one opponent started to show themselves at the edge of the clearing, and then she smiled slightly in anticipation before the vision suddenly went black.

It was only then that I realized I had shot up off of the couch, pushing myself back against the wall in shock. My family's thoughts and words were surrounding me, but I couldn't make out any of it. I quietly met Alice's equally shocked expression, but as my shock began to wear off, it gave way to pure, unadulterated fury. They would never hurt her, particularly if I had anything to say about it. I briefly noticed that Jasper appeared as if he had been punched in the gut from my onslaught of intense anger, but I was beyond reasoning at the moment. I flew out the front door, running at top speed heading west toward the clearing. I had to make it in time; I just had to.

My family's incredulous thoughts followed me as I left, but Alice's soft and pained voice was able to sum up my behavior for them in one word. One word I hadn't spoken in years because it had made me feel intense pain just to remember, let alone hear. One word, at the sound of which, made me run even faster. "Bella…"


	7. Chapter 6: The Fight

_What day is it?_

_And in what month?_

_This clock never seemed so alive._

_I can't keep up,_

_And I can't back down;_

_I've been losing so much time._

'_Cuz there's you and me_

_And all other people_

_And nothing to do,_

_Nothing to lose._

_And there's you and me_

_And all other people_

_And I don't know why,_

_I can't keep my eyes off of you…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 6: The Fight

I ran faster than I had ever run before, as fast as my body was able. I knew that, at top speed, I could run a mile in one, maybe two, seconds flat, meaning that I could be in the clearing three hundred miles away in about ten minutes max. I just hoped that was enough time. I did not want to arrive in the clearing only to see a slaughter. That mere possibility made me see red. I had faith in my girl, considering I could easily recall her bizarrely confident and indignant human reactions in the face of anything dangerous, but that didn't change the fact that she was outnumbered significantly. I also knew nothing about what she could or couldn't do as a vampire. The only thing I was sure of was that I would mercilessly kill anyone in my path if my girl was anything other than…alive. I used that term loosely, of course. We weren't technically alive. I shook my head, struggling to focus. No one would be able to stop me if anything happened to one hair on her head. That was that. She would always be under my protection, regardless if she was a vampire or not. Since she had, at least, turned to face her opponents in the vision, I hoped desperately that she would try and talk with them first in order to stall any type of fight. That way, if anything did happen, it would only have just started by the time I arrived.

I could hear footsteps behind me, but they were not able to keep up with my strenuous pace. I could still strain to hear my family's thoughts, and I knew that Alice had given them all of the basic information before they had all started to follow my lead. There had been nine opponents, two females and seven males. I only recognized one of the males, and he was from the Volturi. Demetri, his name was. He was a tracker who found someone not by smell, but rather by sensing their presence or mind. I doubted that had worked on my girl, considering her obvious talent to evade or block talents, but he still made me wary because he would definitely be able to sense us. In fact, being so close to where we all were living, he probably already knew we were living in the area. This only added to my growing livid nature. The Volturi had been screwing with my family from the very beginning.

And then there was her… Bella. My Bella. Just thinking her name made my heart swell while also putting me in pain at the same time. She was a vampire. My beautiful girl was a vampire, and she hadn't come to look for me, let alone my family. Why? I pushed back the thought that she didn't remember me. That couldn't have been right. I knew that she had felt strongly about me back when she had been a human so she had to have remembered me. Right? I would have been an important portion of her life, particularly close to her change. However, if she did remember me, then she likely would have remembered me leaving her the most clearly. My heart felt heavy and full of despair. That meant that she would have wanted to avoid me at all costs and would probably have been extremely angry with me. If I hadn't introduced her to my world, she never would have been changed in the first place. It was completely my fault that she had become a soulless monster like me.

I hoped against hope that she would at least give me the chance to talk with her before she wrote me off completely. My heart would be broken forever if she refused me, but another part of me didn't care really. She could be angry at me for all eternity so long as I could merely be around her again. She was my whole world. I loved her beyond all measure, and I would be damned if I was going to lose her after just finding her again now. Maybe her anger would fade. Maybe she would give me a chance again. Maybe she would forgive me. I didn't care if it took years because maybe after time would go by, she and I could be together again. Those thoughts made facing an angry Bella worth it.

I watched the trees fly by me in my peripheral vision and looked for any type of movement in the shadows as I ran, but I saw nothing out of the ordinary. I opened my ears to all that was around me, but all I could hear were the faint footsteps of my family running behind me. I smelled the air, and I could smell the scents of the other vampires up ahead and my family's behind me, but not hers, nor anyone else's. This was good. At least there weren't others lurking in the distance.

As I closed in on the clearing, I began to hear loud cracks, snarls, and growls coming from there, and I could feel my panic for Bella's safety rise exponentially. As soon as my eyes adjusted to see the swirl of movement in the clearing, I couldn't keep my own furious growl from escaping. How dare they! I was temporarily blinded by my anger as I let it consume every facet of my being. At the sound of my arrival, the action in the clearing seemed to halt momentarily in surprise. They all clearly had not been expecting any company.

My eyes lingered briefly on the shocked honey brown eyes of the drop dead gorgeous brunette vampire standing in the center of all of the chaos in a now ripped and dirtied white sundress that fit her perfectly, but I forced my attention quickly to the three vampires trying to attack her from behind. I pulled two of them into each other in order to disorient them before tossing them aside all within a second's time. I then pounced on the third.

Two of the other vampires had taken advantage of Bella's distraction and pounced on her, knocking her to the ground, but I could see her easily gaining control. I could soon hear my family approaching the clearing, and when they arrived, it was a chaotic mess of thunderous noise. Snarls and growls were coming from everyone now. I couldn't seem to get away from the vampire I was currently dealing with, considering my infuriated persona made me hasty as I was far too focused on trying to rip him to pieces for even thinking of touching my Bella in any way. He had my complete attention until I heard a familiar scream of terror.

My eyes shot to Rosalie in surprise, and I could see her eyes had glazed over, indicating she was experiencing some kind of horror we could only guess about. The male vampire advancing on her had an odd gleam in his eyes, and I knew he was doing something to her. I watched Emmet throw aside the vampire he was currently dealing with in a blind rage in order to get closer to his wife, but he was quickly blocked by two other vampires. I flew to my feet to help too, but Bella's musical and desperate voice broke my concentration, "No! Stop it!"

Suddenly, the two vampires she had been fighting with were flung to the side somehow, and she had pounced on the vampire who had been messing with Rosalie before I even had a chance to blink. She growled when Rosalie's screams still didn't cease, and despite being stuck in my own personal battle, I heard her hiss out in a powerful and commanding manner, "I said _stop_."

I found myself stopping without even thinking about it, and I wasn't the only one. Everyone had also come to an abrupt halt. Even Rosalie's screams had ended. My girl leapt to her feet holding the male vampire by the scruff of his neck while dragging him along like he was a doll, but my eyes were drawn to the livid black of her eyes. I immediately tried to step forward and help her, but I realized that I couldn't move at all. My eyes darted around in shock. Why couldn't I move? Why couldn't any of us move? I couldn't even speak. My eyes shot to Bella and her charge in confusion and shock. She wasn't even speaking, but he looked scared…very scared. As I grasped my own and everyone else's corresponding vulnerability, I could somehow understand his plight.

I tried to hear his thoughts to see if he knew what was going on, but was extremely unnerved to discover that I couldn't even do that. I immediately concentrated on the closest person to me, Rosalie. She was sitting without moving against a tree trunk she had pushed herself up against while she had been screaming, but I heard nothing to explain her fearful expression or the reason why she also couldn't seem to even make herself stand up. My eyes flew to Jasper, but I still heard nothing. His eyes were darting around in terror and confusion. I somehow had a gut feeling that he could not feel a thing from anyone. I began to feel even more vulnerable. This was not a position to be in when one was facing an enemy, but was Bella the enemy? She was the one in control, but she wouldn't hurt any of my family, would she?

Bella growled softly and tightened her hold on the male vampire in front of her, which caught all of my attention. She could easily rip his head clear off if she wanted to. He looked as if he were pleading with her about something. However, she wasn't speaking and neither was he so I could only assume that she could hear his thoughts and she could speak to him that way. That made me gulp. Could she hear my thoughts too? Did she know why I was here? Why my family was here? That we were here to help her, even if the Volturi had called us to try and help them get her before we had known that the girl they were looking for was actually her? That convoluted explanation barely made sense to me and would probably not endear us to her, but she knew she could trust us, right? She knew that she had been and would always be considered family? Or the love of my existence? I hoped she wasn't so infuriated with my family, let alone me, that she wouldn't hear us out.

I couldn't help watching her and taking her in now that I was finally looking at the object of my affections after such a long and unbearable amount of time. She looked beautiful, as she always had…only her features were more pronounced, her figure tighter than it had once been. She was still just as pale, just as lovely. She looked beyond terrifying with her eyes all black like this, but that could also be because she was apparently the only one who could move or do anything right now. The power she was currently exhibiting was frightening. She began to look exasperated at whatever the male vampire was thinking, and she unconsciously pulled him closer to her and twisted her hand just slightly, clearly displaying how easily she could dispose of him. For some reason, this made me jealous. I couldn't believe myself. I was jealous of another male vampire for merely being closer to her than I was when she clearly felt nothing towards him. How pathetic.

Her action to frighten him into complying with whatever her wishes were must not have worked though because her eyes flashed darkly and she suddenly raised her arm out to her side. One of the female vampires, the blonde, began walking forward towards Bella against her will with one of her own arms out. I watched Bella's hand twist just a little, and the girl's arm twisted so it looked like it was about to be torn off with no one touching her at all. The girl looked to be in tremendous pain, but she couldn't yell out or do anything just like the rest of us. I had no idea why Bella was doing this. Her charge looked horrified, and I could see instant defeat. The girl must be his mate. Bella was using it against him, but why? What did she want?

I wished I could hear my family's thoughts. They looked shocked that Bella would be doing something so vile, but I was positive that they were actually just not over the show of power Bella was showcasing at the moment. Neither was I really, but I somehow knew that she wouldn't hurt us. Well, I hoped that she wouldn't. I suppose I wanted to know what she was doing just as they did, but I couldn't fathom that Bella's kind heart could ever have been tainted in such a dark way so there had to be a good reason for her actions.

Bella dropped her arm quickly, and the girl's arm dropped simultaneously. She must have heard what she wanted. She then proceeded to toss the male vampire onto the ground before moving to stand in front of Rosalie protectively, which made my heart leap. If she was protecting Rosalie, she obviously was protecting the rest of my family too. She spoke softly to him, although her eyes were guarded, "Leave here then."

So that was what she had been coaxing him to do. She wanted them all to leave, and he was the leader of whatever Volturi mission this was. I watched the male vampire fly to his feet, looking beyond pissed off. He was now the only one able to move along with Bella, and as I watched his eyes, I saw something in his face that I had seen more than anyone throughout my long life because of my talent— indecision. He wasn't going to leave. He was thinking of attacking her instead. I roared internally, hoping against hope that Bella was indeed capable of listening to his thoughts. He was going to change his mind. He was going to hurt her, and I wasn't going to be able to do anything about it!

Sure enough, he suddenly flew at her. I, however, blinked in shock when he suddenly froze in mid-air directly in front of her. Bella hadn't even moved. Her black eyes narrowed dangerously. I expected her to do something horrible to him in retribution for his lies, but she merely raised her arm and flicked her fingers at him. That simple action sent him flying back into a tree at the edge of the clearing, snapping it clear in half with the force. The male vampire got to his feet hastily, despite that hit having had to have hurt like hell, and shot her a glare. Bella was undeterred and stated in a bored tone, "I thought I told you to _leave_."

She had used that persuasive and commanding quality in her voice at the very end of her sentence. I even found myself wanting to leave the area as quickly as possible, but I couldn't move in order to do so. Wait, why would I want to leave? I wanted to talk with her! I loved her! I blinked a few times to clear my head only to notice that the male vampire had taken off into the trees, not having anything to hold him back from following her command. Bella closed her eyes briefly, and the rest of the Volturi clan all fell over, now able to move as well. They didn't need any further assistance. They all took off hastily after their leader.

I expected to be freed from her hold soon after, but she didn't free us right away. I watched her eyes tentatively, trying to figure out what she was thinking. Her deep black eyes were darting around the trees where all of the vampires had run off to, and I could only assume she was making sure the other vampires made good of their word and had gone before she would free us. It was her way of protecting us. She had stopped all of the fighting so that none of us would be hurt. Silly girl. We could take care of ourselves.

Her hands began to shake as she stood there in silence. I began to listen carefully myself, and I could barely hear anything after a few additional moments. I glanced back over at her now that the danger was gone, but I was confused as her face twisted as if she were in pain. She suddenly gave a small cry and held onto her head, but I couldn't worry about her just then because I was suddenly slammed with an onslaught of incredibly loud and stunned thoughts. I immediately held tightly to my own head, whimpering as the voices came from all directions and in all sorts of volumes. My family hadn't known that I couldn't hear them so they had no way of knowing I hadn't been dulling their voices during our standstill.

_AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! Too many emotions…WAY too many emotions. I can't…_ Jasper was obviously suffering just as I, but his voice was immediately replaced.

…_going ON? I can't believe that just happened! I can't see anything about her right now, and she's right in front of me! Why? What the hell WAS all that anyway? Wait, who is talking to me?_ Someone was speaking to her? I heard nothing out loud. Everyone was all standing around in shock still.

_How in the world was she doing all of this? I have never heard of anything like it before, even when I had been with the Volturi. No wonder they want her. This is bad._ Carlisle, ever the concerned. I quickly tried to dull his voice as I fought for control.

…_have no idea how Bella just did that, but it was FRICKING AWESOME! Edward, did you see that? Oh my God! She could kick your ass so you best tread carefully… Wait, Rosie…_ Emmet was way too excited at the moment, but his thoughts turned quickly to his wife. His thoughts became frenzied and worried.

I tried to find Rosalie's voice myself. _…can't…don't want to…I would never...it wasn't real…it wasn't real…how…_ I became incredibly confused. What had happened to her? She was so worked up that she was incoherent, even in her thoughts. That never happened.

_Oh, that poor girl! How has she survived out here all alone? And how does she have such control? I'm so proud of her, but I hope she'll talk with us. Maybe… Oh, my son… Edward looks like he's in pain. We're all thinking too much, aren't we?_ Thank you, Esme. She was the only one who ever remembered how unbearable my gift could be sometimes.

After finding all of the voices I would find at the moment, considering I had never heard Bella's hidden thoughts much to my own disappointment and frustration, I concentrated all of my efforts on muffling all of the voices so I could focus finally. I didn't even realize I had stopped breathing, but I had. I quickly took a few deep breaths as I embraced the dull hum that was much softer than everything hitting me at once. I blinked a few times to make sure I had everything under control, only to look up and see that everyone was looking confused into the trees behind Rosalie and at a distressed Alice, who was holding her hands out in front of her while she pleaded quickly with my desperate family, "…asked me to tell you all not to follow her. She said she needs to hunt right now, and she'll find us in a few hours."

Jasper came up behind his wife, looking wild-eyed and thirsty himself. He quickly echoed his wife's sentiments, "And trust me, she was thirsty. I think all of that drained her."

I quickly understood that Bella was gone. My heart plummeted. She had left without saying anything. Nothing. I felt awful. Was she angry? I had missed her departure so I couldn't even know. She might be coming back, but what if she didn't? I couldn't just let her leave. My voice sounded more frantic than I wanted it to when I finally spoke, "What? Why?"

Alice looked sad as she approached me slowly. "I'm sorry, Edward. She spoke to me in my head…I have no idea how. All she said was that she would find us after she hunted and that we should take care of Rosalie." She added silently, _She wouldn't lie to us, I'm sure. Trust me, Edward. She'll be back. You can talk to her then._

Everyone immediately turned to look at Rosalie, and I tried desperately to bury my worry and concerns for Bella after hearing Alice's confidence in her eventual return. Emmet was already at her side, holding her near him, but completely unaware of what to do to make her feel better. Rosalie had never needed to be taken care of, so to speak. She was a hard-head and was always in control of herself. I alone knew her deepest, darkest mumblings and concerns which broke through when she was not concentrating on her well-developed front which she placed out into the world. Emmet knew most of it too, I supposed, considering she had told him everything about herself and her human life. However, that didn't mean she told him her every thought like she couldn't help telling me. I gave her what privacy I could. Whatever had happened to her had shaken her to the core. I suddenly understood why Bella had been adamant about helping her first.

Rosalie was hugging her knees to herself as she sobbed quietly into them. Her whole body appeared to be trembling as Emmet tried desperately to soothe her by rubbing his hands over her back as he held her in his arms. He quickly looked up to me in panic. "What happened? What is she thinking?"

It was a testament to how distracted Rosalie was because she didn't even scold her husband for asking me what her thoughts were. I quickly tried to focus on her thoughts and was again puzzled over her disjointed mind. _…can't…I would never…please…no…not me…it wasn't real…it wasn't real…_

My eyebrows furrowed. There was no image to go along with whatever she was blocking out, and I couldn't put together what she was saying. I walked forward slowly so she would notice, and I asked her softly, "What wasn't real, Rose? What did he do? I couldn't hear anything the entire time so you are going to have to help me out here."

She visibly shivered and shook her head violently while moaning out a very muffled, "No."

I got some incoherent flickers of images in her mind so I tried again more soothingly, ignoring the rest of my family's concerned thoughts. My words were barely audible now, even though the rest of the family would still be able to hear as I murmured softly and too quickly for human ears if there were any around to hear, "Rose, out of everyone here besides Emmet, you know you can trust me completely. You know that I won't say anything you don't want me to reveal. I already do that for you all of the time."

I heard my family inhale sharply at these unexpected words. I was sure they were thinking of the fact that there were supposed to be no secrets within the family. That was true, for the most part. However, I had some secrets. I had never told them about the depth of my pain and how often I had wished for death when I had thought Bella had been gone forever. I was now secretly elated that I hadn't succeeded in these wishes and probably would be quietly indebted to my entire family for helping me not succeed on that front, but they were thoughts I never shared if I had been able to get away with it. The family had known of my depression to an extent, of course, but that was all.

I also had everyone else's secrets. Carlisle never felt completely sure of himself, despite the confident front and morale he provided for the entire family. Esme worried more than she ever needed to, but her deepest fear, besides the safety of our entire family, was that she might slip up in our lifestyle and would have to face Carlisle's disappointment. Emmet never thought he was enough for Rose, but was thrilled whenever she made him feel like he was her world. Alice worried about Jasper more than she ever consciously knew, mainly about him slipping up and how horrible he would feel, about him possibly not being happy to be a member of the family, or that he might only be choosing the lifestyle out of his love for her and not to better himself. Jasper, on the other hand, worried that he would upset Alice and the family if he slipped up, and he actually liked living with the family even if his only mission in life was to ensure the Alice had a smile on her face. Rosalie worried about how she still wanted to be human more than anything— a baby, the house, the picket fence, everything. That left her thoughts to dwell in her horrid past, and she had created a love/hate relationship with her vanity. I revealed enough that they all knew what was going on, but not anything that wasn't necessary. Rosalie's thoughts were the most protected, and therefore, they were the thoughts I rarely uttered. If I had any concerns about her being depressed, I always sent Esme or Emmet to speak with her, but I had never given specifics. She had always been grateful for that.

I ignored everyone else and focused on Rosalie's thoughts when she looked up at me, her now dark eyes wide and frightened. _You promise? Even if it's horrible? Even if you're disgusted with me too?_

I frowned at her rushed and random questions, but I nodded my head in agreement. She closed her eyes in agony and let loose an incredibly vivid vision of her walking around in large and elegantly decorated townhouse while holding a baby in her arms and looking unabashedly happy. The baby was the splitting image of herself as a human with big blue eyes and the perfect blonde hair that curled slightly. Then, a man came into the picture, obviously supposed to be her ideal human husband equivalent, and he wrapped his arms around his two girls like they were his world. He was ridiculously happy himself, and he kissed Rosalie passionately in greeting. That's when everything changed dramatically in the vision. Rosalie's demeanor suddenly altered completely, her eyes becoming red and sinister, and she drained and tore apart her husband as any merciless vampire would. She then turned on her own baby, doing the same, and she finished with stroking the baby's cheek, thrilled at the shocked expression on the baby's face.

I was beyond horrified by what I had just seen, but I forced myself not to move away from her. As it was, Rosalie seemed to have gotten worse after having to look at the whole vision again. She was sobbing more loudly now as I got my bearings once more. I turned my horror-filled expression to my family, but I could tell them nothing of what I had just seen. I knew what it was; it was Rosalie's deepest, darkest desire— to be human, to have a family. However, it was as if her desire had been turned on its head and into her own personal nightmare. My family's thoughts became even more panicked and concerned as I just stood there in stunned silence. Emmet's growl brought me back to Earth so I turned to him, pained. I spoke quickly to him specifically, even though everyone could still hear, and told him what I could, "He was an illusionist. He made her see things…horrible things…her worst nightmare. I won't tell you what I just saw because she should be the one to do that when she's ready, but she just needs your support right now. He was unfair in every sense of the word."

I turned quickly back to Rosalie and placed my hands on her shoulders, causing her to look up at me again. Emmet continued to try and calm her as his arms tightened around her while they sat on the ground. She would barely meet my eyes. She was scared of what I was going to say to her. She thought I would think her a monster. I spoke firmly to her, "Rose, you are not a monster. It wasn't real. He was trying to make you see those things. You can understand exactly what he did. I won't say it out loud. You know that none of us would ever think of you in that way. Ever."

She didn't believe me completely, but she nodded and buried her head into Emmet's neck, still thinking ill of herself. Emmet wasted no time and picked her up in his arms bridal style. She didn't even fight him for once. His eyes were fierce. "Let's get home. Bella will find us there."

He turned and began running with Rosalie in his arms back toward the house. I froze unconsciously at the sound of her name. My pushed back emotions seemed to fly back to the surface in a jolt. Bella. Would she let me talk to her? I resolved to stop her the moment I saw her. I would make it clear that I had been wrong. She had to believe me. She had to know. I had to tell her I loved her. I needed her to know. Alice's bewildered voice drew my attention, "Uhh, Edward? Did you just make a decision?"

I quickly looked at her thoughts and flinched. She was having a vision of watching me look horrified and depressed in our living room as everyone else all sat around in shock. I could tell this was supposedly after our encounter with Bella. I doubted Alice could see anything that contained her in it. My heart fell. Apparently, talking with Bella right away was not such a good idea. She must be mad. Very mad. I inwardly cringed. How could I have been so stupid to have left her in the first place? Living without her all these years had never made me happy. I would have to wait to speak with her until after she met with the family. Maybe I could ask her to take a walk with me after where we could talk alone… Maybe she would at least hear me out. How was I going to keep myself under control for however long she spoke with all of us though? She would be right there, and I wouldn't be able to touch her, speak to her, hold her, or anything. Would she think I didn't care? Or would she think me giving her space instead? Would she—

Alice sighed, but looked more upbeat now. She smiled at me. "I can't see anything now. Some other decision has to be made." _That would probably be a decision on her part, Edward. Be careful. I wouldn't want you to look like you did in that vision, understood?_

I nodded reluctantly and probably looked heart-broken. She was mad at me. My angel, my Bella, my beautiful girl was mad at me. She could leave me forever if I didn't go about this the right way. I loved her. I don't know if I could bear it if she just left, and I knew she was out there somewhere. I vowed to take every precaution in the book. I pulled out every gentleman file I had on how to apologize to the one you love— things I had seen in countless human's minds and occasionally in my own family's minds. There had to be hope left.

Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder, leading me toward the forest edge so we could head back. _Come on, Edward. We want to be there before she arrives._

I watched Jasper and Alice hugging out of the corner of my eye, both of their thoughts on each other and them being alright and together. I again quashed my jealousy that they had each other while I was still without my other half, particularly when she was suddenly within my reach. They started running just as Carlisle, Esme, and I did. Esme was worried about me, considering everything that had just transpired so I shot her the smallest of smiles to reassure her that I was ok before taking off ahead of them. I was running from everything again, mainly because I was scared. I was scared that she wouldn't want me anymore. I was scared that she would be too mad at me to forgive me. I was scared for her because of everything going on around all of us with the Volturi. That brought me to Alice's unsecured vision of what was to transpire shortly. What would Bella choose at this meeting that would orient the future?


	8. Chapter 7: The Meeting

_I've got my heart set on anywhere but you._

_I'm staring down myself, counting up the years._

_Steady hands just take the wheel; every glance is killin' me_

_Time to make one last appeal for the life I live…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 7: The Meeting

I stood stock still near the landing of the stairwell in our house. I refused to move an inch. If I was going to have the control of standing this way while in Bella's presence for the first time in seventy-six years, I was going to have to already be in this frame of mind otherwise I wasn't sure if I would be able to stop myself from going to her the moment she was in front of me.

All of us had cleaned up quickly and tried to keep busy for a while as we began our wait. We also discussed, or rather argued, over Bella's abilities and what had just transpired with the Volturi members in the clearing. After this afternoon's events, it was clear that we would now be on the Volturi radar too, so to speak. I knew that Carlisle or Jasper would broach that specific subject with Bella sometime during her visit. This, of course, would all stem from the other major questions we all had for her, namely how she had become a vampire to begin with, how and why she had kept her distance from us for all this time, and what had happened to stem the interest in her from the Volturi. After listening to everyone's thoughts during this discussion, I knew that Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice would likely do most of the talking. Alice gave me quiet support about that in her head, considering she would broach most of the topics that interested me without me having to initiate the questioning. I wanted to give Bella her space and hear her story; then, once she was more comfortable, I would somehow find the courage to ask her to take a walk with me…out of hearing range from my eavesdropping family. Alice had guessed my decision after the family's immediate future, mine in particular, disappeared.

As my family and I had established a game plan of sorts, the house had become quiet as we continued to wait in trepidation. The increasing anticipation and anxiousness was not helping anyone, particularly Jasper who was trying fervently to keep from fidgeting as well as fighting to maintain a neutral atmosphere. Alice couldn't see Bella at the moment so we had no idea when she would arrive or what to expect. It may have been silent for them, but for me, definitely not. The rest of my family tried to keep their thoughts to a minimum about Bella specifically, but still…I knew what they were thinking and worrying about, and she had everything to do with it.

Carlisle was trying not to think about her abilities, seeing as she was going to be in the house and could use a number of them to gain whatever information she wanted from us. His worries, to me, were unwarranted, considering Bella had acted protective of the family in the clearing so I doubted she would use her talents against us. However, since we knew nothing of how her powers worked, I suppose I couldn't be so sure. For example, if she couldn't shut off her mind reading, then she would be able to listen to us all, which knowing from firsthand experience, would give her all of the information she wanted to know and then some. Carlisle was determined to test at least this talent with her sometime after she arrived. If she answered him out loud or in his head or gave any indication that she heard him, he and I would know that she was listening and could alert the family as such.

Esme was completely worried for Bella's health and how she was faring all alone; at least, that's what she was struggling to focus on. I knew that underneath all of that, she was actually hoping that she could see me happy again. She wanted for her and I to work through this and instantly be in love again. This made me grimace inwardly. The most I could hope for was forgiveness and maybe the luxury of being allowed to be around her once again. She had every right to blame me for her soulless existence, and I doubted she could ever love me again because of it. I had introduced her to this type of life, and while I had left her so she could enjoy her human life the way she was supposed to, I had neglected to make sure that all loose ends had been tied up so that that life for her could actually happen. I should have made sure that Laurent and Victoria would have left her alone. I was 90% sure that her transformation had occurred by one of those two vampires. The remaining 10%, of course, I left open due to my beautiful girl's horrible luck; that small part of me wouldn't be surprised if she had run across a nomad with a different type of appetite completely by accident.

Rosalie was trying in vain not to think about what had happened in the clearing to no avail. She was still severely shaken by the nightmarish vision she had been shown, and bits of it played on repeat within her mind. While most of her thoughts remained revolved around herself like usual, she was also extremely grateful that Bella had somehow put a stop to the vision before it had continued. She was positive that if the vision had been left to run its course, she likely would have been forced to watch herself turn on Emmet or the family. Those were the next things she would have desperately wanted to protect at all costs and even I wasn't sure that she would have been able to watch that too. She had two theories on what must've happened in the clearing that I found myself pondering over as well. Either Bella had blocked his power from working in general on anyone or she had added Rosalie under her own natural block from his power like a shield. I was more partial to the latter option, but my mind reading had been completely shunned and so had Jasper's emotional control, which seemed more like the first theory. The only way we would know the truth of what had occurred would be when and if Bella would explain it to us.

Emmet was sitting closely with Rosalie, comforting her silently from her trauma. He was worried about her tremendously, and he was slightly miffed that I would not be more forthcoming about what she had seen. Rosalie, during their run home, had let slip something about a baby so now he at least had a rough idea of what the vision had been about and it had made him worry all the much more. He knew just about everything about how she longed to be human and have that traditional type of life so if the vision had been a nightmare of sorts, he knew that this constant longing of hers must have been played upon. This was completely correct, and I had at least nodded to him slightly when Rosalie had been looking off into the opposite direction. However, since his obsessive and worried thoughts hadn't changed, I knew that he must not have seen my acknowledgement. Sometimes I wished he was as observant as Alice was.

Alice was still trying in vain to look for Bella, thinking that since Bella knew or at least had a rough idea of who had 'seen' her before, she might let her see her now. It wasn't working. She also was trying to look into the future, but that was still nothing more than unclear flickers here and there. She was thrilled to have her best friend back; a part of her had always been resentful towards me for taking her away from Bella all those years ago. I knew that she had understood my reasoning, but she had never liked it. She had wanted me to make Bella one of us, insisting that it was how things were meant to be with both Bella and I happy together as equals. Those thoughts made me cringe now, considering I had screwed up that future when I had chosen to leave her in the cruelest way possible. I had thought that it was in her best interest back then, but after learning how things had turned out, I wished desperately that Bella had been changed under better circumstances, that she never would have been alone, and that she and I would never have gone through the pain and isolation I had placed us in with my stubborn decision. My heart felt heavier as I continuously added things to my list of all of the things Bella would and should be angry with me over.

Jasper was siphoning through the heavy emotional tension that ran throughout the room. While most of us, myself unequivocally included, were tense, wary, and emotional, Alice was the epitome of excitement. She was bouncing next to him as she looked forward to seeing her friend again, but it really threw Jasper for a loop. He tried the calming effect on all of us, but stopped when Alice scolded him for killing her buzz. He then tried to focus on keeping me calm only. I had nodded to him in thanks over that. I was going to need his efforts if I planned to remain silent as an observer in the coming interaction. It was going to take just as much effort, if not more, than it had taken me not to drink Bella's blood that first day in the Biology classroom. The call of my love for her, particularly after all this time thinking she had been gone from this world forever, was infinitely stronger than my thirst had ever been back then.

I glanced at the clock. It had been four and a half hours since we had gotten back, not that I was counting. I tried not to think about how long she was taking. The knot in my stomach twisted in nervous anticipation for her impending arrival, but the thought that she might not come at all was still possible.

We waited and waited. I took a surreptitious glance around the room, and I was rather distressed to see that no one was moving all that much. Typically, when we were in front of humans, we had to make an effort to fidget or look human. It was something that we all had tended to just do normally as well. It was odd to see everyone looking so…vampiric…and still. I was just about to comment about everyone's motionless forms when there was a quiet knock on our front door.

I grew paler at the sound, but my family practically blanched. We, being vampires, had never been surprised or caught off guard before. We hadn't even heard or smelt her approach. No sound. No smell. Nothing. We all sat still for more than a second in shock, but then I heard a quiet 'Oh' from outside, and suddenly, I could smell the faint scent of the woman I loved more than anything in the world. That scent alone made me happier than I had been in seventy-six years, even if it set all of my senses on fire. It also made everyone else relax, for the most part.

Carlisle approached the door quickly and opened it to reveal my Bella. He nodded in greeting, and he couldn't help smiling genuinely at the sight of her up close. _It's been so long. She was always like a daughter to me._ "Welcome, Bella."

She looked distinctly hesitant, but she made her way cautiously inside of our home anyhow. Her wide, expressive eyes, now looking like liquid honey once more, were darting around at everything in sight. I cringed internally, thinking that she seemed to be looking for the quickest exit. I hoped that she was actually just taking in the similarities of this home in comparison to the home we had had in Forks. Esme had tried to keep a similar décor in all of our subsequent homes since then, mainly for familiarity and consistency so we never felt like we were always starting completely over in each new location. Bella forced a tiny smile before nodding casually at all of us. She spoke softly in her acquired musical and velvety voice that made my cold heart melt instantly even if I was drowning in my own self-induced torment, "Carlisle, everyone."

I knew that she was not addressing anyone specific because of me. This made me feel an intense onslaught of depression at knowing that I had caused her so much pain, but Jasper sent me a wave of relief without looking at me. He spoke in my head with a stubborn tone, _You needed it, Edward._

I wished I could say something grumpy in response, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to draw Bella's attention while she looked so hesitant and uncomfortable already. My sad eyes couldn't help but take in everything about her though. To me, she had always been beautiful, but after her transformation, she was simply stunning to look at. I could hardly look anywhere else. Even my family was silently thinking about her enhanced beauty and presence. Her careful actions made her look so meek and vulnerable, almost as if she was the same human I had never left. However, we all knew that to be far from the case after we had just seen evidence that she was more than capable of taking care of herself. She looked beyond alluring in her simple pair of jeans and long-sleeved, fitted red shirt. I couldn't help but think that if there was a second color I liked seeing on Bella, it was red. Her pale skin, full red lips, and dark, mahogany hair seemed to stand out so much more when she was wearing red. I wondered why I had never noticed that before. Her fingers fumbled with the sleeve of her shirt, and I wished I could ease her nerves. However, my attention was quickly drawn to a bouncing Alice, who couldn't seem to contain herself any longer. _Ooooooooooooh, BELLA! I missed you so much!_

Alice suddenly launched herself off of the love seat and took off towards Bella at vampire speed in order to throw her arms around the poor girl. Bella's eyes widened, and she took a step back unconsciously with her hands slightly raised in front of her in surprise. I could hear everyone panicking inwardly when Alice immediately froze for a second in mid-flight. The moment wouldn't have been noticed by a human, considering Alice was freed just as quickly, but all of us knew. Alice stopped where she was instantly, no longer moving toward Bella even though she could move freely. There was worry, hesitation, and hurt in her eyes now. _Oh. I guess I shouldn't have done that, but I couldn't help it._

Bella quickly started speaking to Alice apologetically, looking flustered by what had just happened. Her words were quick, even for a vampire, "I'm sorry, Alice…it's sort of a first response. I mean, you startled me, that's all…" She paused before stepping closer to her, slowly this time so there were no more surprises, in order to gently squeeze her shoulders while she was standing in front of her. She added softly and at normal speed, "It's great to see you too."

Alice nodded some, giving her a small smile to indicate that she had been forgiven before she resumed sitting next to Jasper. Carlisle broke the tension, gesturing to the empty seat we had left for her, "So, Bella, why don't you sit down? We'd love to hear from you. It's been so long."

Bella nodded grimly before taking the seat more gracefully than I had ever seen her be. Clearly, becoming a vampire had helped her in that respect. My eyes followed her every move, and I couldn't help but be disappointed that she avoided looking at me at all costs. I could admit that she hadn't really looked directly at anyone other than Alice during their previous encounter, but the dismissal still stung. I watched her cross her legs tentatively, still glancing haphazardly around herself. She looked to be concentrating slightly on something distantly. I couldn't help wondering what she was thinking about. It had been something that used to drive me mad when she had been human, but right now when I wanted to know everything about her and what had happened, it was beyond frustrating. She directed her intense gaze suddenly to Esme. "This house looks lovely, Esme. You've done just as brilliantly with this home as you had with the other."

Esme squeezed Carlisle's hand as he resumed sitting next to her, and she was positively thrilled by her compliments. _Oh, she is still as sweet and polite as she ever was! How could anyone ever think her a monster or a threat!_ "Thank you, dear. That's very kind of you to say. It's so great to have you here." _A part of my family is back…_

I was in a pit of hell at the moment. I could barely keep myself from running to her and telling her how stupid I had been, how I loved her more than anything, and how I longed for her to find it within herself to forgive me one day. Jasper sent another wave of calm at me without comment, but even after that, I had to brace myself to keep where I was. Alice jumped in the conversation looking positively radiant, "Tell us everything, Bella! I've missed you so much…" She paused, frowning slightly as she remembered how life had been when we had thought she had been gone for good, "We had thought—"

Bella interrupted abruptly then and her tone was a bit short, "You thought exactly what I wanted everyone to think."

She grimaced after she had said all of that though, almost in apology for starting things off so harshly. She obviously had not wanted this to be an argument or uncomfortable in any way. Carlisle, sensing her tension, decided to test his theory. _Bella, can you hear me? We just want to hear your side of the story. Whatever has happened in the past, you have always been a part of this family. You have nothing to fear._ He watched her face carefully, just as I, but it didn't change. Not even a frown. She was still looking over at Alice, and her demeanor remained slightly uncomfortable. He and I shared a glance, and I knew that she was not reading anyone's mind currently. Her gaze turned to Rosalie, and there was a sad expression in her eyes now. Her words were suddenly remorseful and distracted, "I'm so sorry about earlier, Rosalie. I had him controlled at first, but then there was too many…and I couldn't…well, I eventually did, but…"

Rosalie stared back at her incredulously. _She's blaming herself? What?_ "It wasn't your fault, Bella."

Bella's face furrowed, and she looked like she didn't believe her at all. "It was. I should've—"

Rosalie cut her off, "You did just fine. Thank you."

Bella grimaced and tried again to speak, but stopped at Rosalie's look. She then just conceded softly, "Right."

There were a few moments of silence until Carlisle encouraged her to speak, "Why don't you start at the beginning, Bella?"

She frowned, looking down into her lap. "What do you want to know?"

My head was full of questions, but I forced myself to remain silent. The torment of holding back was unbearable, but I couldn't bombard or overwhelm her. I couldn't scare her away. I wanted to talk with her privately and now wasn't the time. I turned my intense and emotional gaze over to Alice, hoping against hope that she would get her talking for me. I wasn't sure if Alice had noticed my discomfort, but she asked the first question speaking hesitantly, "Tell us what happened after we left."

Bella didn't move, but I could see a shadow of some kind pass over her face. I couldn't seem to stop myself from flinching at her obvious anger and pain. She kept her gaze in her lap as she spoke in a dull voice, "I don't remember all that much from that time, probably on purpose. I suppose, after some time had gone by, I remember becoming a bit…reckless…" She looked at the ceiling, bored. "I remember being more…brass, and I got a couple of motorcycles."

My eyes practically bulged out of my head at this confession. How could she have been so careless with her own life? She was a magnet for trouble already, and she had gone looking for it, even after I had asked her not to! I cringed when I realized I had promised her things that I hadn't kept either, but still. She continued without noticing my inner turmoil, "I got my friend, Jake, to help with the bikes. We became best friends. He taught me how to ride, but then his friends started…changing, and eventually, he also…changed. He pushed me away." Her hard gaze fell on a lamp in between Alice and Esme. "I knew he was keeping something from me, but he would tell me nothing, claiming he had been forbidden to do so. I was forlorn, naturally, and so I went…hiking…by myself, despite my dad telling me about the latest missing hikers."

I was practically hyperventilating in my head. If who she had been talking about had been Jacob Black, I knew exactly why he had…changed…as did my family. Her careless attitude at her own safety seemed so Bella, but at the same time, I knew it had been more than that. She had probably done those sorts of things to spite me. It had been her way of dealing with her anger and her pain. It still all came back to my leaving, and that hurt me more than anything. She ignored everyone's shocked looks and just continued as if she had said nothing out of the norm, "It was stupid, I know, and then, I ran into an old…friend."

The sarcasm of her last word made me hold my breath. Was this when she had been changed? Who had it been? However, my Bella was never predictable. She scoffed before continuing, "It was Laurent. He was surprised to see me alone in the first place, and after a bit of small talk, he insisted he would be doing me a favor by killing me quickly. Victoria apparently wanted revenge for her mate, James, and I was under the impression that my death would have been rather…unpleasant…if she had been the one to find me first. However, before he could actually kill me, I was suddenly surrounded by werewolves."

She looked directly at Carlisle as everyone gasped at her knowledge of their kind, myself included. Yep, my girl had the worst luck imaginable. I leave her alone, and she faces both human-eating vampires and werewolves. Not only that, but she discussed her own death as something that wouldn't have bothered her at all. This puzzled me for the moment. Why would she think in such a way? Her head tilted as if she was slightly amused by our response, "They saved me, seeing as Laurent took off pretty quickly at their appearance. I ran and eventually found my way home. However, I was officially scared because I knew that Victoria and possibly Laurent were still out there and potentially looking for me, but it didn't take me long to put things together. I realized that Jake was one of the werewolves. He had ignored me because the Alpha had ordered him not to tell me anything. However, Sam never counted on me already having heard the legend by Jake a year before so I confronted Jake about everything. After putting our heads together over the situation, I learned that they had killed Laurent that day, but they were still actively looking for Victoria, only they had no idea what she wanted or why she was still lurking in the area."

She paused then, looking at Alice, who shook her head back at her in silent horror. Alice's thoughts were swimming with the idea that Bella had just basically admitted that she was going to offer herself up as bait so the werewolves could finish off Victoria. Bella just smiled grimly in response, obviously understanding her realization. I could not believe she was being so blasé about the whole thing. This was her human life! Didn't she care? That's when it came to me. After I left, she hadn't cared any more about her own life. She had told me time and again how much she had loved me, but I had never truly let myself entertain the thought that she actually had loved me as much as I loved her all because of her humanity. I had been her everything, and I had taken myself away from her and left her thinking that she had meant nothing to me. How could I have doubted her feelings so? Shouldn't I have assumed she would be as in agony as I was at the thought of an eternity without her? How could I have caused her so much pain? I have never been so angry and disgusted with myself before as I was now. I couldn't even feel pity for myself over losing her anymore. I didn't deserve any pity because I had hurt the most important thing in my world. What was worse was that I had done it on purpose. I had left on purpose. My heart practically squelched into nothing.

Bella continued in a quiet and matter-of-fact way, considering she obviously had by this time, as I had already determined, accepted her imminent death, "She was looking for me, of course. I knew that she would get my strong scent anywhere in town, and it was only a matter of time. Sam and Jake set up shifts with the pack to watch over my house to try and stop her if she approached. This went on for a while, and I became…frustrated…and…" She thought for a moment, probably to find the right word, before just continuing, "…and furious, I guess. I started destroying everything in my room, I fell behind in my homework, etc. One night, Embry was circling my property. I knew Jake was going to be joining him shortly so I made my way outside to wait for him. I hadn't seen Jake in two days, and I wouldn't be able to sleep at all while I knew Jake would be outside so I waited with Embry while he was in his werewolf form."

When my family started muttering their horror over her doing something so dangerous, she glanced up, clearly surprised. She almost looked as if she wanted to laugh at their shock. I couldn't help feeling slightly nostalgic at her lack of reaction to anything dangerous, but it just made me feel worse. She couldn't seem to stop the tiny grin from creeping across her face as she continued, "They're all just big dogs, you know…nothing at all to worry about. I felt perfectly safe. I wanted to see Jake. He was my best friend, and he always made me go get some sleep, but…" She paused, and there was a faraway look in her eyes. I knew then that that was the night she had been changed, and it wasn't going to be a happy memory. She just shrugged carelessly after a moment. "Anyway, that's when it happened."

She didn't speak about anything further, despite my family's obvious curiosity, so Carlisle asked quietly in order to clarify, "So Victoria found you both then?"

She nodded with a sigh and shrugged a second time, still not really looking at anything or anyone in particular. Her voice had taken on a sort of edge now, considering we were pushing her to discuss something she clearly would rather not discuss, "She was faster than Embry; he was so young and wasn't as big as Jake or Sam. I didn't stand a chance. She just hadn't counted on Jake arriving in time for her not to finish the job. Jake and Embry together finished her off. Jake took care of me. I stayed with him on Quileute property for the change, he helped me doctor all of the evidence for my death, and he helped me get to Canada safely so I wouldn't hurt anyone."

Everyone was shocked into silence. I blinked at realizing that she had been able to stay with the werewolves while being a vampire herself. Jake must've cared for her more than I had originally thought. I also bit back all of my anguish at the obvious way she talked about him, as if she still cared for him in some way too. I couldn't believe I was jealous, but I was. I knew deep down that it was because I should've been the one with her as she had changed. I should've been the one to help her, hold her, and keep her safe. She should never have gone through everything alone, and that blame lay solely with me. I loved her, but it was as if I couldn't even do that right. If I had loved her, I never should have doubted her feelings or left her alone. I had been thinking the opposite back then, claiming that my love for her was stronger because I could leave to protect her. Now, I knew that I had been horribly wrong. I wished my family had been stronger back then. They should've fought with me more fiercely over my stubborn, narrow-minded thinking. Maybe things would have turned out differently.

_Hindsight is 20/20._

I flinched at the old saying coming from Alice. She was looking at the wall in sorrow, but I somehow knew that her random thought was directed to me. I couldn't blame my family. They had told me not to leave her. They had discussed the many outcomes that could result, even if this option hadn't been one of them. If they had pushed me any harder over changing her back then or staying, I might have left the family in a rage. I was solely to blame. I vowed to dedicate all of my future time and effort into trying to make it all up to Bella somehow. I grimaced when I realized that I still had to get her to talk with me first.

Carlisle's thoughts about our meeting with the werewolves later that year drew my attention back to what was going on around me. He knew exactly why she hadn't wanted to see us or have us know anything about her. It all came back to me. I winced as he admitted the blame within his thoughts, not remembering that I could hear him. I deserved this though so I could not hold such thoughts against him…or anyone in my family for that matter. He spoke in understanding, "You told the werewolves what to say to us…and what to think about…if we ever came back."

She met his stare head-on, her face unreadable. Her words were dry and matter-of-fact, "I didn't want to be found."

The room was fraught with tension, and Jasper struggled to keep the atmosphere calm. I was wallowing and lost in my own thoughts and depression so Emmet caught me by surprise when he suddenly asked in an amused tone, "So…how many accidents, Bella?"

She looked at him startled by the change of tone in the conversation. I wanted to slap him stupid for asking her something so heinous. I wanted to growl at him, snarl into an all out fury, or even take him out back to show him how stupid he was being, but since I knew that I couldn't, I ended up merely denting the drywall behind where I stood instead. Her eyes became confused as she pondered what he asked. "Umm, accidents?"

Emmet rolled his eyes playfully, and his thoughts were all about trying to lighten the mood by making Bella smile and having his little sister back again. My eyes narrowed dangerously at him. Lighten the mood. Right. He obviously sensed none of my fury as he scoffed at her confusion, "Yes, Bella. Accidents…"

Understanding began to grace her beautiful features, and she humphed at him for asking such a question. She gave him a depressed look so I braced myself for a high number, but Bella surprised me once again. "Just one, but it was enough. I never felt the need to kill a human a second time. That was about two years after I was changed. I had been testing myself during that year, and I thought I could resist when I was closer, but well…" She shook her head as she clearly explored the memory she probably shunned. I longed to shield her from the monstrous side of this existence like I had in the past, but it was no longer something I could do now that she was a part of it. I could kick Emmet around for her for making her relive the incident again though... "After he was gone, the smell of human blood became a turn-off of sorts. I can't stomach it because I think about what happened that day. The smell kind of reminds me of my aversion when I was human now."

Alice bounced around, smiling widely. "But you like animal blood?"

Bella rolled her eyes, but she couldn't resist smiling back at Alice. She had that effect on people. Even if I found her aggravating at times, it was impossible to stay upset with my sister for too long because she always made me smile about something. "It's not human, but it's edible, as you well know, Alice."

Alice was rejoicing in her head at Bella becoming more comfortable with everyone finally. "So what did you do then? And what about—"

Alice cut herself off, not wanting to mention all of the crazy abilities Bella seemed to have. She didn't want to push her further than she was willing, considering she finally seemed to be warming up towards us once again. She also wanted me to have my chance to speak with her afterwards. Bella sighed at the cut-off, probably interpreting what it might be about. "I spent most of my earliest time venturing throughout Canada. I kept in touch with and occasionally visited Jake and the rest of the werewolves as well, once I was more in control of myself. They were my only friends. It was coming back from one of those stops outside of Vancouver that I met Derek, another of our kind."

Jealousy seared through my entire body at the sound of a male vampire's name. I quickly coupled my anger with sadness and depression, causing Jasper to glance at me oddly due to the mess of emotions I was expressing at once. My emotions were running wild, and I internally fought for control. She couldn't have met someone else. Could she have? It felt as if my heart had dropped to my stomach. I didn't know what I would do with myself if that were the case. Despite my blind panic, I forced myself to look at Bella once more, and I wasn't disappointed. Her expression had grown darker, and her eyes held a hint of distaste. She was not fond of this Derek in the least, and that made me insanely happy…ecstatic with a large helping of relief actually. Jasper was now thoroughly confused. He sent me a wave of calm that I gladly accepted. _Umm, Edward? Do you mind?_

I ignored him and continued staring at Bella, silently urging her to continue her story now that I didn't have to be so jealous. I ignored the silent 'yet' that seemed to creep quietly into the back of my consciousness. She just continued in frustration, "He was a cocky, arrogant asshole. He was overly interested, and I left quickly. He followed me all over Canada and into the States with another of his coven, Matthew. They never found me, but I always knew they were there." She looked away suddenly, lost in her thoughts as she stated randomly, "It was odd, not knowing what I was doing while I was actually doing it…"

My family pondered this thought, but she shook her head and re-focused the conversation quickly, "Anyway, I finally couldn't stand the running after a few years so I confronted them both by letting them find me. He told me I wouldn't be getting away from him ever again. I became more than a little nervous as it was one against two and I had never really fought with anything more than prey…well, I suppose there had been more than a few playful fights with Jake too, but that's beside the point… Derek just smiled at me menacingly as he approached, but became shocked for some reason as I continued to back away from him. He turned his attention to Matthew, and Matthew…froze. I realized quickly that his power was freezing someone and that it apparently didn't work on me. He advanced on me regardless, claiming that the power wouldn't be necessary for someone as weak as me. He assumed that he would be able to take me by force. However, he changed his tune when I suddenly…froze him."

She looked up anxiously, clearing conveying her own shock over the encounter. She spoke more quickly now, "I had no idea what had happened so I ran, and I kept on running. After a while, I noticed his scent following me again. He never found me once. I obviously didn't know why, and then I wondered if I was doing something…special…or peculiar…because he logically should have been able to confront me at some point. I began to think about everything I had ever learned about vampires as well as all of the things I had already found myself able to do. I had never had any trouble hunting whichever prey that I wanted and could actually identify particular scents at distances that were very far away. I apparently could escape and hide effectively whenever I wanted to. I never had any problems with my self-control after I had chosen for my behavior to be so. And…I had frozen someone by merely knowing he could use that ability." She paused briefly and her gaze looked sheepish, "I didn't get it then, and the only thing I knew that I hadn't done yet was interact with humans on a regular basis so that's what sparked my interest in returning to high school. It had been about ten years, and I hadn't had any second accidents."

Carlisle nodded for her to continue so she did, hesitantly, "I enrolled as a sophomore in a Canadian high school in Montreal once I lost Derek and Matthew for a while, and it took me only a few minutes in the parking lot to realize everything."

She stopped then, looking like she didn't want to continue the story. Alice couldn't handle the silence. _Oh, for the love of… Just say it, Bella! You're driving me crazy!_ "What happened?"

She sighed and said dejectedly, "When I realized I was getting a bunch of odd looks, enamored looks, and curious looks, I couldn't seem to stop myself from wondering what they were thinking. I was never comfortable with such attention, as you recall…and then…" She looked into her lap. "I, well…I heard them."

There were some sharp inhalations at her revelation, not that it was much of a revelation, considering we had already deduced that she was able to do this after watching her in the clearing. Bella just sighed and looked out the window. "Like I said, I began to understand what I could do then. Once I knew of someone's gift or had seen it being used, I could use it…and turn it on and off at my leisure. I realized that my tracking skills were probably better than normal after knowing about James. I always knew where the best prey was even if it was miles away; not to mention that I knew Derek and Matthew were following me, even if they were rather far away. My talent for escape and evasion was probably from Victoria, something we had all guessed she had possessed. I froze Derek because I knew he had been able to do it, and then, there were your talents… I began to think back on a few things that I had never really paid attention to before, like knowing about something random before it happened or feeling Derek's fear when I froze him… I wasn't thoroughly convinced so I conducted a few tests so to speak, knowingly this time, and I found out that my guess was indeed correct. However, that, of course, wasn't everything, as you probably understand after today."

Carlisle nodded encouragingly, thoroughly intrigued. _That's remarkable, but there was also the fact that…_ "You can shut other powers off as well, yes?"

Bella began to look uncomfortable with all of the interested glances and the intense scrutiny. "Sort of. Some powers stop automatically in my presence, and I just have to focus on the distance away from me to keep it that way or reverse it. Other powers, mostly talents like Jasper's or Alice's, need me to focus to stop their power from working on me personally or to stop it entirely."

I gulped, realizing that she, in this moment, must have to focus on not stopping my power because I was likely one of the powers she could stop just by being here. The fact that she was indeed paying attention to my presence in some small way made me feel a fleeting glimpse of hope. Alice was confused though and was a little hurt. _She's stopping me by choice? Why?_ "So that's why I can't see you? You're stopping me?"

Bella nodded before admitting softly, "Yes, but it might not be as selective as what you think though… I've realized that you were the one to look in on me at one point, but I had been more concerned with hiding at the time rather than stopping your specific power." She looked sheepish then. "It's a conscious decision now, I suppose. I always hated it when you knew everything about me, Alice. Jasper too, for that matter. I'm not using anything against any of you either, if you wanted to know."

Jasper gave her a tiny grin. _She hated it when I knew she was embarrassed._ "So you can stop my power from working completely then too?"

Bella looked at him then, smiling faintly. "Yes."

I waited with bated breath as I watched Jasper's face. He began to look incredulous. _Wow. That was fast. I can feel just me._ He murmured quietly to himself in astonishment, "Just like in the clearing…"

Bella grimaced at the mention of the clearing. "Well, at least this time I won't allow the ability to come back so abruptly. I was losing control then, and I know that I was forced to just release my hold on all of you in one go so it was likely painful, I'm sure. It was like that for me too. I hadn't had to control that many people before so I wasn't expecting to feel so completely drained." She began to look incredulous as she gazed at the wall. "I was barely aware if doing such a thing was even possible actually…"

Jasper held his breath as he began feeling emotions from everyone once again. He braced himself for the sudden onslaught again, but this time, it was the more controlled, gradual process just like Bella had suggested. _That was much better. Not overwhelming at all like last time._ "Thanks."

She shrugged, looking relaxed, but still a little unsure. "You're welcome."

Carlisle's expression was guarded, and I knew he was going to address the Volturi issue now. His thoughts were swimming with all of the information she had just given to us all about her abilities. He struggled to find the right words, "So this is why…the Volturi…"

He didn't want to push her so his words had come out in a disjointed fashion, but Bella seemed to understand. Her eyes shifted toward a dark amber, but her relaxed demeanor didn't change. "Not really. That's more of a bonus for them, I'd say. They call me…a chameleon…and I suppose the title is fitting. I know they feel threatened by it, even though I've never given them any reason to be afraid. I've only had to use any of it to keep them away from me, and I've only met members of their guard occasionally, but most of these encounters were amiable. It's never been like today. The reason they know about me at all was because I accidentally ran into Demetri while he was on a case about three years ago, but I managed to surprise him. He couldn't sense me at all apparently, and he couldn't seem to sense his target while he was talking to me either. He brought this information back to this Aro person, who became intrigued. He sent others after me to bring me in, but they couldn't find me once I knew I was being followed. I eventually spoke with them…Demetri, Felix, and Jane. After Jane's power failed them and I had to use a few of my powers to get away, I was put on the most wanted list. I have met with them a few more times, and Felix is the only one who seems sympathetic to my case, even though his loyalty belongs to the Volturi. That's probably why he wasn't with them all today actually…"

She shrugged before continuing, "Mainly though, I've stuck to myself. I hadn't sensed any of the guard for months. I know now they were keeping their distance so I wouldn't know they were still here— at least, that's what Afton told me today. He thought about your family briefly, but I actually have been staying about thirty-five minutes northwest of here if you go on foot. I've only been down near the clearing a handful of times so I never even knew you were here..."

She smiled slightly when we all looked confused by this comment. "I know, you have no idea how that's possible, right? Well, the thing is…I don't breathe when I go anywhere…hunting included. I've discovered that the less I breathe, the less of my scent gets left behind. I didn't even notice I had been doing that for years already, but I finally put that together a few decades or so ago. One deep breath wherever I'm staying is enough for hunting so it's not really a big deal. Plus, after meeting Demetri, I can sense like he can so I don't need to breathe at all anymore if I wanted. Just because I can track through my nose doesn't mean I have to use it. I wonder if that concept would help all of you hide more effectively… You ought to give it a try some time, particularly of late."

Her words stunned me, especially since I would never want her to hide her delicious scent. I couldn't help but inhale slightly on purpose, thoroughly enjoying the fact that I had been able to smell her wonderful scent for the last hour because she had been required to breathe in order to talk with us. Emmet laughed wholeheartedly at her words though. _Only Bella! I wonder if she still trips into things…_ "I was wondering why you were barely breathing the whole time you were here!"

I blinked at him and quickly surveyed Bella more closely. How could I have missed that? Sure enough, she was barely taking in any air at all and was holding her breath when she was silent. That small amount of breath she had been using only left her scent faintly in the air, but I somehow knew that I could smell her more strongly than anyone in my family. It reminded me of that time a few days ago just outside the clearing. Her faint scent had hit me like a wrecking ball then, but now I was drowning in it…willingly. It didn't seem to matter that her scent only lingered faintly. Apparently, I couldn't focus on much at all when she was in the room. Well, some things never change. If she had only known how she had affected me back then…how she was affecting me now…

Bella laughed softly, and the sound was like music to my ears. I wanted to make her smile and laugh just so I could hear that beautiful sound again and again. "It's just habit, Emmet. We don't need to breathe, remember? I suppose I do miss the sense of smell occasionally…"

She sighed softly, and I wondered for the millionth time what was possibly floating through that locked mind of hers. Jasper looked frustrated by Emmet's second pointless interruption, "But what about the Volturi? What now?"

Bella shook her head, her eyes worried once again. "I'm not sure. Afton's thoughts today were more concerned with me. He answered my questions though…with the right persuasion of course. He and the rest of their group were sent to test me…to see how powerful I really was. That's why their numbers were so high. Only Afton, Chelsea, and Demetri were from the Volturi guard and had any powers today; the rest were disposable riff raff trying to make a quick dollar from the Volturi. I was able to keep things fine, but then when you all came…well, I had to act. Afton was ready to make you all suffer under his illusions so I let myself go…"

She looked disappointed in herself, thinking she had done something wrong. "I shouldn't have given them so much to report, but I would never let any of them harm you all. Their minds were clear when you all had arrived. Chelsea was ordered to dissolve all relational ties and turn us against one another while Afton, her mate, caused chaos with his nightmares. Demetri was supposed to find any stragglers that got away. The rest were to keep us all busy. They must've known you were coming today. I was the only one surprised. I'm not sure what they want, besides me, of course. However, whatever it is, you all are bound to be involved somehow."

My family was all grim and horrified. We had entertained the theory that the Volturi were against us too, but actually hearing it confirmed was another thing altogether. Carlisle's brow furrowed, and his thoughts were growing angrier by the minute. _How dare Aro go behind my family, me especially, like that…_ "They wanted to kill us today?"

Bella bit her lip, and I had to blink a few times to get my mind out of the gutter. That simple act sent my mind reeling, just as it had when she had been human. She answered him unsure, "I didn't get that impression, no, but they did not wish you well. They wanted me to come with them until the tables turned by my hand. Perhaps you were all going to be used to get me to go with them, but I'm not sure. I got them to leave, and I have not been able to sense them since their departure this afternoon. After hunting, I took a roundabout way of getting here, just to check, and there was nothing. My best guess is that they are returning to Italy. Alice can probably tell you better. I've never liked looking into the future…"

Her sad voice made me feel beyond miserable again. Why would she look to the future when she didn't feel like there was anything to look for? I watched her frown and wished desperately that I could take away every ounce of her sadness. Alice was pouting, and I quickly noted what she was looking at. Demetri, Afton, and Chelsea were on a plane, likely heading back to Volterra. They were by themselves and looked pensive. She spoke to Bella calmly, "We'll know more in the morning. The three of them are on a plane now…without all of their extras."

Bella nodded silently, obviously having determined that to be the assessment before Alice had even looked, and that's when Carlisle stood up, grabbing Esme's hand. "I'm going to look up a few things upstairs for you, Bella. Maybe I can help you with your control over your powers. It sounds as if that would be most helpful, considering…" He trailed off, leaving that thought open-ended. He led Esme upstairs, but his parting thoughts were directed to me, _Good luck, Edward. I'm not sure what she's thinking or how she's feeling, but she IS here and she DID protect us all today. I wish you all the best._

Esme's thoughts were of the same nature, but I was distracted by Rosalie suddenly getting up from her seat so she could move quickly in front of Bella. She spoke quietly to her, "Thank you, again."

Bella looked surprised, probably because they had never gotten along all that much, but she gave her a small smile. "Really, it was nothing. I wouldn't want anyone to go through that. I wish I had been faster."

Rosalie shook her head at her and patted her hands. "Nonsense. You take too much upon yourself."

Rosalie turned and shot me a glare before heading upstairs herself. _Don't blow it, Edward. She's everything you ever wanted so now you show her how much she means to you. This whole family wants you to be happy, me included. You're such a downer without her anyway. I want my family back to normal…the __good__ normal…_

Emmet wasn't as gentle with Bella. He lifted her right out of her chair and dragged her into one of his bear hugs, no longer holding back with his strength. _I can actually squeeze her, and she doesn't gasp for breath! I missed my little sis! _He whispered something inaudible into her ear while he thought that, likely so I wouldn't hear, and she smiled at him weakly for whatever he had said as he released her. If she had still been human, I knew she would've been blushing, but she just mumbled out, "Thanks, Emmet."

Jasper was next to her after that and gave her a hug, although not nearly as overzealous as Emmet. _She still smells good, but I no longer want to kill her. Finally._ "I can finally hug you now…"

Bella rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Yeah, that is kind of nice, isn't it?"

Alice shot me a glare while they were talking. _Edward! Talk to her already! She's going to leave! _She reached over toward Bella and hugged her super-tightly while she unleashed all of the giddiness she had been hiding for the last hour. _My best friend is back!_ "After all of this calms down, we are sooooo going shopping, although you seem to have improved somewhat in your fashion sense. That dress you wore earlier would have been beautiful if it hadn't been dirty and ripped."

Bella chuckled. "I did like that dress. It was a definite shame, I must agree. Maybe I might let you drag me somewhere…if you can catch me, that is."

Her eyes began to sparkle, and I was completely tongue-tied as I became distracted yet again by her mere presence. All of my senses were heightened, and I felt my throat dry up. What could I possibly say to her to get her to stay? I didn't deserve anything. I had caused her so much pain. However, I would never give up. She deserved to know the truth. I wanted her to know the truth. I would never walk away from her again so as she turned to the door, I finally managed to unfreeze myself from my fears and choked out somewhat croakily, "Wait."

She paused tensely at the sound of my voice, but she didn't turn around. Alice was shouting at me in my head to say something, anything at all, but Jasper's thoughts were the ones that stood out, _Tell her everything, Edward. Tell her now. It might seem painful at first, but if it all works out as it should, it will be more than worth it._

I watched as he dragged a frustrated and overly curious Alice up the stairs leaving the two of us seemingly alone. She turned slightly, but her face was an unreadable mask as she glared at the floor. My courage plummeted when she refused to look at me directly. Her tone was bored, maybe annoyed, and I braced myself for the worst. "What is it?"

I gulped, opening my mouth intending to pour out everything, but I couldn't help being distracted by the fact that six other vampires were hanging on every word that was being said between us at this moment. I suddenly felt like I had way back when I had asked her out for the first time, like I was a teenage schoolboy scared out of his mind for fear of rejection. I eventually managed to ask her in a barely audible and defeated voice, "Will you take a walk with me?"

She held her breath, and as the seconds ticked by, I was overwhelmed by the plethora of feelings that were hitting me from every direction at once. Love, lust, and longing for the beautiful and wonderful woman standing before me. Doubt that she would or could ever care for me again. Pain and depression at the thought of possibly losing her for forever. Anger and jealousy at whoever would eventually win her beautiful heart if she were to turn me away. Dread and despair at the possibility of spending the rest of eternity without her while knowing she was out there somewhere and I wouldn't be able to do anything about it…

Her expression was baffled, but her voice was hard as she asked me curtly, "Why?"

I didn't want to discuss everything here. If she turned me away, I would rather be alone afterwards, particularly if something like in the vision Alice had had earlier actually occurred. The horror, sadness, and pity in my family's faces…and likely thoughts…were more than I could possibly take if I was to suffer her dismissal. I would be inconsolable. I swallowed hard, my voice but a whisper, "I would really like to speak with you."

Bella's head tilted, and her wide, honey-colored eyes narrowed. "I believe I remember everything that you've ever said, and I don't think I need to hear anymore."

I flinched at her tone and by her acknowledging my previous cruel and false departure from her life. She turned to leave again, and I became desperate. I took a small step toward her pleading softly, "Please, Bella…"

Just saying her name for the first time in seventy-six years seemed to make my dead heart jumpstart and beat once again. I watched her pause a second time and felt a second small piece of hope rise deep within me. I just wanted her to listen…I had to make sure that she at least knew the truth. I didn't think I could ask for more than that. I didn't know if it had been the sound of her name coming from my voice or my desperate pleading, but she turned back to me, and this time, those beautiful eyes of hers met mine for the first time in so damn long. Her face was still unreadable, but her features softened slightly as she looked at me, and I soaked up every second of it. I assumed I looked crazed because that's what I was— I was crazy in love with the beautiful woman standing in front of me. Her lips didn't move, but I heard her as clear as day. _You have five minutes, Edward._

She turned then to go outside for real this time, and I hastily moved to follow her. Even if she had spoken to me in my thoughts like I had assumed she could even though she hadn't discussed it, I reveled in the fact that she had spoken my name. My name. The sound of my name in her pretty voice, even through thought, made my year. I was scared out of my mind at what was going to take place, but I knew then that she was at least going to listen. She was giving me a chance, and that was all I could ask for. I would do my best to convince her that I had been in love with her then, I was in love with her for years, and I was still in love with her now. If she chose to share her existence with me one more time, I would spend the rest of mine making everything up to her…making her happy. Seeing her happy would be all I would ever need.


	9. Chapter 8: The Walk

_I wanted,_

_I wanted you to stay._

'_Cuz I needed,_

_I need to hear you say…_

_I love you,_

_I've loved you all along,_

_And I forgive you_

_For being away for far too long._

_So keep breathing_

'_Cuz I'm not leaving you anymore._

_Believe it,_

_Hold on to me,_

_Never let me go…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 8: The Walk

Bella was waiting for me when I finally made my way outside. She had moved much faster than I had, likely because I was lost in my thoughts as I tried in vain to find the courage for the confrontation that was about to transpire. My mind was drawing a blank as to how to word everything that I wanted to say in the perfect fashion. I still had no idea how I was going to start, although apologizing for every wrong I have ever committed seemed to be the best way to begin. At least there was a short amount of time left to think things through, otherwise I would probably just embarrass myself and make her even angrier by starting to beg and plead for the forgiveness I didn't think I really deserved. I slowly moved closer to her, and I could practically feel and hear my cold, dead heart suddenly thudding loudly within my own subconscious. It was amazing how merely being near her made me feel so alive. I couldn't stand to meet her eyes just yet so I spoke softly to her instead, my focus remaining steadfastly on the ground in front of us, "Let's run."

I set a quick pace, considering I needed to run fast in an effort to relax myself in some way, but Bella had no trouble maintaining the speed. Her entire presence, mere feet from my side, was all I could seem to think about though. So much for having some time, however short, to work out what to say… I wasn't exactly counting how many minutes I let pass, but I eventually came to a stop in front of a path I hadn't been on for weeks. I hadn't been focusing on the direction I had run in, but apparently, it had been east. I knew we were somewhere near Lake Superior as the scent of a large amount of water lay in the distance. I could no longer smell my gorgeous companion, likely because she had been, and probably still was, holding her breath, so I quickly turned to look over at her, almost as if to reassure myself that she was indeed still there.

She had stopped as I had, but had maintained the same few feet between us. Just having the luxury of being alone with her once more and getting the chance to have her alive and in front of me caused all of my thoughts to cease. She glanced up at me after my few moments of silence, and her expression became even more impassive. She tilted her head slightly, seemingly annoyed. My assumption of her mood appeared to have been right, since she soon spit out in irritation, "Is this how you would like to spend your time? Staring at me? I can guarantee you that I have other things to be taking care of just now, considering this past afternoon."

My insides began turning, and I felt frantic. Her temper…I had forgotten about that. I had to say something, anything, but where to start? The words, however disorganized, seemed to just pour out as I was finally able to break out of my trance, "I owe you an apology— no, the apology of all apologies…I'm so sorry, Bella… You must realize I had absolutely no idea that there was still any reason that you would have been anything other than safe with my departure. So safe. When I had seen Victoria—" That monstrous bitch's name caused me to practically growl as the words continued to rush out, "that one time...during the game…I had been way too caught up in James' thoughts to see just how deep her connection to him had been. It was completely my fault that I hadn't seen the depth of her feelings for him. She had been so completely and utterly confident in his tracking abilities that she was able to hide the bond that they shared… I had no idea that she had been capable of such wrath…or revenge."

My eyes shot to the ground when I could no longer look into her wide, confused eyes, let alone her aggravated expression, but the words continued to flow as my thoughts began to collect more clearly over the matter, "I know that's a poor excuse for leaving you in the hands of nothing more than those…" My voice instantly held a hint of distaste as I spat out the word, "those werewolves… They are the most volatile and dangerous creatures around, and I left you with only those measly dogs for help. I should've tied up all of those loose ends personally. Maybe then you would've been able to have the satisfying human life I had set out for you…the way it should have been from the very beginning. I don't think I have enough words to say how sorry I am about what I made you miss out on… What I wouldn't give for things to have turned out differently… When I had heard about—" My voice caught on the word, and I refused to say it. I felt my whole body wilt at the reminder of what I had gone through without her, and I could only imagine what she had gone through now that I was aware of the new truth of her last seventy-six years. My voice reduced to nothing more than a whisper as I reveled in how much pain I had been in, how much pain I had put her in, "My whole world fell apart when I had heard you were no longer in it. You have no idea—"

"Stop it already, Edward."

Her words were so short and so harsh that I looked up at her startled, instantly bracing myself for the worst sort of tongue-lashing. This was it. She was going to tell me she would never forgive me for what I had made her miss out on, all because I had been too selfish to stay away from her in the very beginning. If she had never gotten involved with me, she would have had the life I had dreamt she would have had. I forced myself to not look away from her smoldering expression, even if her words would crush me completely. Rejection from her would be perfectly fair, I reasoned…I had thoroughly earned it. She would still always be my angel. I forced my face not to crumple in response to the overwhelming pain, anguish, and loss I was currently feeling, even though my eyes might have already shown it. No. She had every right to tell me where to go. I would not hold it against her.

She didn't even seem to register my inner turmoil as she merely continued, oblivious, her words sounding extremely calm and almost detached, "You're being utterly ridiculous, a bit melodramatic even… Must you always let your overwhelming sense of responsibility for me rule your life, a responsibility that is, and has always been, mine alone? The guilt is radiating off of you in waves, and I don't even need Jasper's ability to see it. It was never your job to take the blame for anything that happened to me, especially now. Whatever happened to me in the past was not your fault, just like everything that is going on with me presently is not your fault. You have no reason to feel guilty so just stop it."

I stared back at her blankly. That was what she was thinking? She merely thought I felt…guilty!?! She was being absurd. I found myself getting angry with her for her own ridiculous assumption. How could she ever think something of me like that? Didn't she know how much I cared about her? How much I loved her? How much I wanted to protect her and keep her safe? How much I wanted her to be happy? I tried to push down my growing fury over this whole situation and practically hissed out in earnest, "Isabella…do you honestly believe that I'm only saying all of this to you because I…feel…guilty?" That word alone was true in some respects, but for her to consider that sole emotion to be the single reason behind my words was almost insulting.

She rolled her eyes as she kept one of her hands on her hip while the other pulled some of her gorgeous mahogany hair out of her face. She responded so matter-of-factly that it made me wince, "Of course."

Her blasé attitude infuriated me beyond all reason. I had to make her understand. I thought she had known from the moment she had seen me. My love for her was something that was so blatantly obvious that my family had been vehemently annoyed with me over it since the very beginning. Bella was the most observant and intuitive person I had ever met, and yet, when it came to looking at what was right in front of her, she was completely blind. I was incredulous. "How can you possibly think that? Don't you know? Do you not remember how much I love you, Bella? How many times did I tell you I could never live in a world without you? Why wouldn't I care about every last thing that would ever happen to you? Or about your future? Your humanity? How I should have protected you? Of course, that was and still is very much important to me! It was my everything!" My words were filled with passion as I tried to make her understand, "You are my everything, Bella."

Her eyes darkened considerably, and her fists clenched at her sides. Apparently, my declaration had been less than well-received. I suppose I could have waited for a better moment in our…conversation…to basically show her that I was madly in love with her. Her tone was bitter and patronizing as my words had obviously angered her extremely, "You don't have to pretend with me anymore, Edward. It's been seventy-six years. I think I've had more than enough time to absorb the fact that you were just making me happy by sticking around."

Her words practically shattered my dead heart into a million pieces. How could she have missed this? She had really and truly embraced the lie I have regretted every single day thereafter just as I had feared. I had clung so fiercely to the hope and thought that she had known somewhere, deep down within herself, that my lie had been the furthest thing from the truth. I was no longer sure I would, could, or even should be forgiven for my blasphemy now. If she had truly believed my lie, then the depth of her pain was as deep as, or even deeper, than I had feared, and that lie had had years to resonate inside of her. Apparently, my apology needed to be even more encompassing. Even amidst all of my many negative emotions, my love for her was easily seen and felt by everyone except the one person I had wanted to see and feel it. I gulped and kicked myself mentally as I prepared myself for an intense battle with her stubborn resolve. I wanted her to at least know. She had to know. "Bella, you are living under an enormous misapprehension…"

I could not believe that I had to explain this to her, but I had known that this confrontation was never going to be easy. I gazed up into her livid expression, silently willing her to understand my sincerity on the subject. "I lied when I left you in that forest so long ago, Bella. I knew you were not going to let go of me easily so I forced myself to say those things to you…to protect you. If you thought I'd moved on, even if I never would, I figured that it would be easier for you to move on. You deserved to be with someone human…someone who could give you all of the things I could never give you. I could no longer be selfish. Your interests were far more important to me. I left you to protect you. I left you to give you the life I wanted you to have…a life away from all of the death and danger I seemed to lure straight to you."

I winced as I remembered her mask of indifference and acceptance as I watched her quickly and effortlessly take my blasphemous words as truth. "You believed me so quickly, and though it hurt like hell, I believed I had done the right thing. I loved you enough to let you go and live the life you were supposed to. I've never stopped loving you. Living this existence knowing you were out there alive and laughing and beautiful…and then when I had found out you were no longer in this world…" I shook my head, trying not to think about what I had been like during these last seventy-six years, "…those times have been nothing short of excruciating. How could you have believed me so easily anyway? Hadn't I told you at every opportunity that you were my whole world?"

Bella looked completely taken aback, but then her eyes became sharper as she stalked forward towards me, obviously still incensed. "How could you have ever thought that my feelings were so inconsequential? How could you have ever doubted the way I feel about you? What? I would just forget about you and move on? Like my feelings were so minute, or dare I say too human, for me to understand what real love is? That's ludicrous!"

There was a flicker behind her eyes then as her anger faltered momentarily, all of the pain and anguish she had been hiding from everyone, myself included, suddenly making the tiniest appearance deep within her honey brown eyes. She bit her lip and avoided my gaze entirely then, her rant continuing in a softer, almost defeated voice, "And why wouldn't I have believed every word you said that day! It never made any sense for you to have feelings for me…a mere human of all things! How could I have ever measured up in your life? Every time I turned around, the balance between us was thrown even further out of whack…"

Just that mere glimpse of the depth of her pain sent my heart to my feet. She was right, of course. I had treated her feelings as insignificant back then all due to my own arrogant assumptions about humanity…about her. However, I had always thought the opposite— she was far more precious than I; I was the monster who didn't deserve someone like her. Even now, she was still the angel I left behind, a beautiful angel who had suffered through emotional turmoil ever since I had come into her life. I would gladly face the Volturi again and again to make that expression forever disappear from her face. I would do whatever it took to make her smile for the rest of eternity if she would let me. I longed to touch her…comfort her. I longed to kiss away every ounce of her sadness. I just wasn't sure she would let me just yet…or ever again. "Don't ever say that… The question has always been why would an angel like you ever want to be with a monster like me?" My desperation was beginning to shine through. I needed to know. I could no longer take it anymore. I closed the distance between us and dumped all of my cards at her feet. "I have made so many mistakes…so many that I would probably have to use my entire existence to make them up to you, but…I love you, Bella. I have loved you since the beginning, and my world has never been the same without you in it."

Her eyes were wide…then confused…then angry…and finally, full of disbelief, but she still didn't respond to my declaration. As I evaluated her expression, I couldn't help but be surprised. I was expecting to be quickly rejected or to see her raging temper over my idiocy, but for her to instead just not believe anything that I was saying to her hurt me in a completely different way. I whispered out horrified, "You don't believe me, do you?"

Her face crumpled at my pained voice. She took a step away from me shaking her head sadly, and her words were soft, confused, and echoed my pain as she answered me, "I don't know what to believe anymore, Edward."

I was numb in that instant. I wanted to just pull her into my arms and show her how much I loved her, but I also valued my life now that she was somewhere in it. I had seen Rosalie take down Emmet time and time again when he had tried such a tactic with her when she had been upset. I couldn't imagine what Bella would be able to dish out. How could I show her that my words were nothing but the absolute truth? For the first time in my long existence, I wished that she would just read my mind, even though I knew she would never do such a thing when she had the choice not to. That didn't change the fact that there were so many memories that would easily show her everything that she ever wanted to know. With that thought, I realized exactly what I was going to have to do, and I suddenly didn't care about the consequences for doing it. The benefits vastly outweighed the risks. She deserved to know everything, and she was now able to make it incredibly easy for me. If she was going to walk away from me forever, I wanted her to at least know…and believe…the truth. She would know and believe everything if I did this. As she turned to go, I pressed my different approach, "Bella, what do you know about the Volturi?"

My sudden topic change surprised her because she turned back to me with a befuddled look, but her confusion over my questioning had been my goal. She was also instantly wary, but I had expected that too— my girl was sharper than most. She wrinkled her nose in her adorable way, her expression still depressed and distracted. "Just that there are the three 'brothers,' Aro, Marcus, and Caius, who run things. Well, them and their guard. They keep all of the vampires in line, so to speak. Why?"

I nodded and approached her slowly once more, making sure she didn't get too far away from me when I was going to have to grab a hold of her hand in a moment. "Yes, and Caius was a fierce fighter back in his day, but Marcus….he sees relationships. That's how he can differentiate the largest threats within a large coven, determine where loyalties lie, and whose heart belongs to whose. Aro, though…Aro can see every thought you've ever had with only a single touch. You can't hide anything from him once he touches you so long as he has the intent to know what you have thought or continue to think."

Bella had started to catch on to what I was doing by that point, but I was quick enough to snatch her hand. I had to hold onto her wrist tightly as she immediately tried to pull away. Her eyes were scared. She feared the truth…and likely me. I would probably never be forgiven for this or for any of my prior transgressions, but at least she would know and actually believe me. It would never be enough for me, but that was all I could hope for at this point. She continued in vain to pull away as she begged me breathlessly, "No, Edward, please…"

Her pleading almost did me in, but I could see the indecision in her eyes. All she had to do was wish to know what I was thinking, and there was a definite part of her that did. She was practically hyperventilating as she fought against the thought, and I let her intoxicating scent wash over me as she breathed, likely for the last time. I softly kissed the hand that I held in my tight grasp. I added my own soft plea for her to consider, "I want you to know, Bella. Please…"

Because I had felt the experience before with Aro, I could tell the moment she had given in. All control was relinquished to her, and my only remaining human memories began to flash before my eyes.

_My mother laughing and smiling behind me as I played my piano for her…_

_My mother and father hugging in a hallway at some charity event…_

_Me sick at the hospital with my mother leaning over me humming softly…_

The memories began to spin faster and faster as she passed over my intensely pain-filled change into this monstrous existence, my initial confrontation with Carlisle, how I discovered my abilities, my experience with the overwhelming thirst of being a newborn, my growing unhappiness with the difficulty of feeding solely off of animals, Carlisle finding Esme, me realizing I was no longer needed because Carlisle had found a new companion, my darkest years of living off of the blood of the dirtiest humans I could find, my growing remorse over the no longer justifiable murders, me stifling my pride and showing my remorse to Carlisle and Esme, our time in Forks dealing with the werewolves for the first time, our next move where we added Rosalie to our family, my distaste over Carlisle's assumptions about Rosalie's place in my life, Rosalie eventually finding Emmet, how Jasper and Alice had randomly showed up on our doorstep one day, my growing and endless plummet into silent solitude over the next many decades where my only comfort was my music, me slowly pushing my family further and further away…

Then, we were back in Forks. She witnessed my horror with Jessica's obscene infatuation with me and how cold I had been in my dismissal, how I began to outright refuse my family even simple pleasures like my company, my music, or even my touch— mere hugs or pats on the back had become affection I no longer cared for from any of them…

That's when we came to my memories of when I had first seen her. She was finally able to understand everything about our time together from my point of view…my initial displeasure with not being able to read her thoughts, how irresistible her scent truly was to me, my escape to Alaska, my return and immediate intrigue with her, the van incident, my fight against Alice's visions of what she truly meant to me even if I hadn't admitted it to myself at that point in time, my realizing the truth— that she was my everything and would always be forever, how irresistible I found every aspect of her, all of my fears over possibly hurting her or trying to keep her safe, my anger and concern during our time in Port Angeles, the reasons behind every one of my insane questions as I tried to delve into the mind of the woman I had come to love, our first official date in the meadow, my concerns about whether or not I could truly be capable of not hurting her, our awkward but endearing first kiss, my soaring feelings of love and devotion along with the realization that something like our impossible love was actually possible between us after all, how I felt more at home in my own home the moment she was there with me, the wake up call of the danger I had unintentionally placed her in after the baseball game confrontation, my realizing I would have to let her go once I made her safe again so she would be free of having such danger in her life, my time tracking James even though I was more distracted with worrying about her, the horror, pain, and utter fear that had possessed me when I realized she had escaped Alice and Jasper and during the whole ballet studio mess, my weak promise to her to stay by her side as long as she needed me to even though I knew that my presence was not something that should stay in her life forever, my continued thinking that I didn't deserve her and she deserved so much more than the life I could give her, how exquisite she had looked when we had attended the prom together, how I tried to fulfill every human moment I could for her in some small way of justifying my selfish need to keep her in my life, our one glorious summer where I began to realize I was merely prolonging the inevitable, my moment of fear and pain when Jasper unintentionally brought the danger I had been pretending wasn't there back to the forefront on her birthday…

The pain in my thoughts was more than clear at that point in time— I didn't want to leave her, but I had to do it…it was all for her. It was in her best interest that I disappear and let her live the life she should have. She was able to see how horrible I had felt as I lied straight to her face and left her, her cries for me to return echoing in the back of my head as I ran as fast and as far away as I could. She saw how I had run all the way into the highest points of Canada to one of our many homes that we had kept over the years, without ever stopping once, purposefully leaving everything and everyone behind. My family had already left for the east coast at my behest, but I had been too much of a mess to even find them…or face them. She was able to see just how horrible my life had been during every minute I was away from her, how my choices had fluctuated constantly over whether I should just give in and return or if I had done the right thing. She was able to see that I had tried to track Victoria briefly when I had caught her scent somewhere in Canada, but when I had reached a dead end in Texas, she was able to see my desperate flight to South America. I had needed to get away, far away, before I would make the choice to return to her side in order to beg forgiveness. She watched me hole myself up in some little shack in the middle of the Amazon, hiding from everyone and everything, in an effort to make sure I would stay far away from her so she could live and be happy without the danger I brought into her life. When I finally had returned to the city after a month of isolation, a bit calmer and more sure of my decision to let her live her life to its fullest, she was able to see my panic as I checked my voicemail, which had been full to the brim. My family had called multiple times, and it was clear that they had had a desperate need to speak with me. When I had called my family and learned of her sudden disappearance and apparent demise, I had been on the first flight out to Rome so I could make my way to Volterra to end it all as well. The words 'utterly devastated' didn't even begin to cover what I had been feeling. If she hadn't been in my life or wasn't somewhere in the world, then I hadn't wanted to be a part of it.

She was able to see Alice and the rest of my family stop me at the airport in Rome. Their flight had been just a half hour quicker than mine, coming out of New York, otherwise they would have likely missed me completely. She was able to witness my despair, self-imposed isolation, pain, anguish, remorse, regret, and prolonged depression over the last many decades without her as I tried in vain to keep my family happy by remaining alive for them. She was able to see how my behavior and emotions had affected my entire family to this day. She was able to see all of my silent pleas for death to Aro when he had first visited my family. She was able to see the immediate change within me, namely my growing desperation and obsession, when the mere possibility that she was still out there somewhere had entered into my consciousness. She saw, knew, understood, and…could fully believe…everything now.

As my focus began to return, I looked up into her now pain-filled, but still beautiful honey brown eyes. I smiled slightly and ran my hand over the side of her face, trying to memorize her every feature so I could always have a proper recollection if this really was the end. I added my final thought on everything hoping she could still hear me, _Now you know everything, my love._

The despair and anguish on her face was more than I could take, and I wished I could wipe it all away. She closed her eyes, hiding her every emotion from my view and looking like she would cry if she could. Her voice was laced with agony as she whispered, "Edward… I—"

As soon as she had closed her eyes and cut off her words as she struggled to come up with some sort of a response, I couldn't help but be desperate to hear everything that was going on inside of her head. Her hidden thoughts had always been my greatest mystery, and I had always wanted to know everything. The question I had always thought in passing whenever I had been in her presence immediately came to mind: _What was she thinking now?_

That's when it happened. I felt a small tingling sensation in my hands and watched incredibly confused as her eyes shot up to mine in shock. As her eyes began to lose focus, I was suddenly flooded with her memories. I knew immediately what was happening and that this was not something I had meant to do, but there was no way to shut it off once it had started.

_Her as a little girl giggling as she ran with two other girls along the beach with a young boy trailing behind them as her father and Billy Black called out their names playfully as the two of them chased them all down…_

_Her and her mom sitting in front of a TV with tons of blankets and popcorn and make-up as they smiled widely at one another…_

_Her mom and Phil standing together at one of his baseball games giving each other loving looks…_

_Her father turning to smile at her as he watched a game on TV when she came home one day from school when she had been living in Forks…_

I was then immediately bombarded with all of her memories and thoughts of me. She had remembered every last one, which I could hardly believe, since most vampires lost a large chunk of their human memories. I was easily floored by the intensity and overwhelming love and passion emanating in waves from her pure, selfless, and insightful thoughts…all regarding her love for me. I now heard all of her own insecurities, fears, and concerns regarding our relationship as it progressed, and when I had lied straight to her face and left her in the cruelest way possible, it was like I had given my affirmation to every single one of them. This was the worst sort of punishment…to hear and feel the depth of her pain when I knew that it was me who had caused it all. Although, if I was ever going to set things right, I had to know everything so I could understand what I was trying to set right in the first place.

I watched as she turned into nothing more than a shell of a person after my ruthless departure, not unlike how I had been during those times. I watched Charlie and Renee's concern over her deterioration, a concern I desperately shared as I watched in hindsight as her memories of this time seemed to dwindle into nothing more than blurry, empty pain. I watched as she eventually met up with Jacob Black, her childhood friend, over something as ridiculous as motorcycles because she was desperate to do something dangerous merely to increase her chances of remembering me more clearly. I watched her mild annoyance and polite refusal towards Jacob's constant advances, and then saw her become increasingly concerned as Jacob— her only crutch at feeling the tiniest hint of normalcy— began to change and became distant with her. Her frustration with him led to her unorganized and impromptu walk to our meadow alone where she met up with Laurent by chance and saw the werewolves for the first time. Once she had figured everything out, I watched in horror as she almost got mauled by a volatile, adolescent werewolf when Jacob had brought her to meet the pack so the two of them could explain the truth about why Victoria was in the area to begin with. All of her feelings and thoughts over the whole situation were laced with so much anger, confusion, depression, and intense pain that I had no idea how she had held herself together. It made me feel even worse for ever leaving her side in the first place.

Then, there was her change. Those memories were incredibly vivid for her. That bitch had nearly snapped her in half when she had lunged at her throat, and I was instantly so unfathomably irate that it was a good thing I already knew that Jacob Black had taken care of the monster for me because I would have spent my entire existence making sure she was nothing more than ash for ever touching Bella in such a way. Her three days were filled with agony, and while it made me bitter and somewhat jealous, I was relieved that she had been able to wake up to Jacob waiting patiently at her side. He and the pack obviously felt awful for what had happened, and immediately helped her get everything she had needed to start over properly; she was never even considered an enemy to them— more like a casualty of war. She had been their 'wolf girl' and would probably forever be considered so.

Once she was in solitude and far away from civilization, her depression, sadness, loneliness, and deep pain as she struggled all alone tore at me worse than anything I had seen already. Her thoughts were filled with wishes that she had died instead, considering she found the whole vampiric existence to be meaningless without me at her side. She persevered and succeeded in ways that I would never have imagined though. I could tell immediately that her sense of smell was alarmingly more strong than anything I have ever encountered so her bloodlust was a tremendous problem. However, after her horrible accident of killing that one poor man and dealing with the overwhelming guilt and disappointment that went along with the murder, she suddenly became so perfect alongside humans that she could rival Carlisle. With her new confidence and control, she began making her trips back to see Jacob and the pack, at least when she could without interfering too much with their lives. I watched as she often observed her father from a distance with nothing but melancholy written in her thoughts and expressions, her playful fights with Jacob and the rest of the pack where she learned how to take care of herself, and how she rarely smiled her full smile… The only person who had ever seen even the smallest portion of that rare smile had been Jacob.

Her confrontation with that dreaded Derek in Vancouver left me feeling ill and immensely infuriated as I watched his eyes devour her entire body. Then, there was her confusion over her power, or powers, and I found myself falling in love with her all over again as I watched her puzzle the whole scenario out. She had the most creative and analytical mind, which was rare, considering I had only found such a juxtaposition existing within very few humans or vampires. She was incredibly kind to everyone she came across, human or vampire nomads alike, so long as they didn't wish her harm like Derek or Matthew. Whenever she met a vampire with a power, she would eventually master whatever their power or strong attribute was once they had departed. She now had the most eclectic repertoire as a result. Her feelings were still despondent, but she had survived. She had always been strong and…brave. Always so brave.

That all changed when Jacob met his imprint on a trip out to see her in Canada almost thirty-five years after she had become a vampire. He was the last one of the pack to find his someone and so Bella made the incredibly tough choice to let her only friend go and live the life with his imprint so they would not be exposed to vampires. She hoped the werewolf gene would recess, considering she knew that my family would never return to Forks due to the memories that would forever remain there. She still called to speak with him and knew all about his life and the rest of the packs' lives though. Jacob now had two boys, college age, who had never expressed the werewolf trait despite knowing everything about it.

Her life became incredibly lonely then as she forced herself to attend school and establish some hint of normalcy, and she became increasingly depressed and forlorn. Her life became nothing short of silent and torturous monotony, which was similar to mine minus the whole going to school part. She never had too much trouble, and her moments with Derek and Matthew eventually became nothing more than bad memories as they suddenly stopped trying to find her about ten years ago. She had eventually come across Demetri, by mere chance, over in Montana. That was when all of her real trouble had started. The Volturi had quickly become intrigued by her blocking capabilities, but when she had been 'questioned' by Jane, Felix, and Demetri that first time, she had realized the danger immediately as she had made sure to read their thoughts and take every precaution. When Jane had decided to try out her power on a human since it did not work on her and had devoured a human right in front of her in an effort to tempt her, she had gotten so mad that she had accidentally used Jane's power back on Jane herself. At this, all three of them had realized what she could potentially do, and they fled quickly, their thoughts trying to dream up a plan of attack as they departed. Bella had been smart about everything and had set herself up so she would never be caught, which likely stemmed from the only useful gift Victoria had ever given her. She had faced a few of the guard on purpose occasionally after that, but nothing that had amounted to where she hadn't been the one in control. That asshole Felix's dirty thoughts about her did nothing to endear him to me, even though it seemed as if he was the only one she somewhat trusted.

As her memories came to a conclusion with the last confrontation earlier that afternoon and her meeting with my family not long ago, I was able to finally allow myself to grasp the one cohesive thought and feeling that had surrounded her every memory of me. She had thought I had never loved her at all, but there was no question that she still had feelings for me. She may have been bitter, resentful, angry, frustrated, depressed, and full of pain over everything I had ever done to her, but it hadn't altered her feelings at all.

I was still so much in shock over my realization that I easily became lost in Bella's wide and expressive eyes when they met mine once more. And she always accused me of doing all of the dazzling… Bella was equally in awe over what had happened as she whispered surreally, "That's never happened before."

I smiled widely at her beyond adorable expression, almost giddy over the possibility that she might still care for me. "You've never let anyone get this close to you in order to know, Bella."

This was true enough. She had never let anyone get close enough to touch her bare skin, except for perhaps Jacob or from a hug she had given to someone else in the pack or their families when she had been around them. However, none of them would have been able to have done what I had just done— be able to use an enhanced vampiric trait that was not my own. I was positive only another vampire would be able to do so. She pulled her hand out of my grasp while I mused over this, but this time, I let her go. Although she was scowling slightly, she wasn't leaving. I went back to reveling over the thrill that she was here in front of me and might still love me. I may have to make so much up to her just yet, but if it was true, I would gladly spend the rest of my existence trying to do so. I only wanted to make her happy. However, knowing through her memories wasn't enough for me to really and truly embrace the idea; I would never assume anything. She had turned her back to me, probably trying to organize her thoughts before she looked at me. She had always said I could read her face like she was a book that had been solely meant for me. I wondered now if that were true. I could honestly believe now that maybe she had always been meant for me as I was for her. I also now had a much better idea of what went on inside of that pretty head of hers after the recent unexpected turn of events.

I had to know. I had to hear her confirmation…her permission. What if I had mistaken her memories of love for something more than what they were? What if they were nothing more than fond memories of her old boyfriend? That thought made my stomach turn from giddy to ill in milliseconds. I tried to hold my voice steady as I asked her the question that could possibly change everything, "Is it true?"

She turned around rapidly, her gorgeous dark hair whirling around her. She looked extremely irritated still so she did nothing to alleviate my worry over possibly taking everything the wrong way. "Is what true?"

I swallowed hard and asked her more directly while holding her gaze, "Do you still love me?"

Her expression turned exasperated and more than annoyed as she rolled her eyes at me. She quickly started to spout off, "You have just looked through my every thought and memory, and you still have the need to ask me that?!?! Of course I love you! It should have been more than obvious, and you are the most…"

I was no longer listening to her as she raged at me, her temper flaring to new heights. She could yell at me later. I had heard exactly what I needed to hear. I finally gave into the temptation I had been holding back since I had first seen her standing in the middle of that clearing earlier in the day. I instantly flew in front of her and quickly captured her lips with my own. She was shocked into silence, and I heard and felt her inhale sharply at the contact. As my hands wove into her soft, dark tresses to keep her there, she began to kiss me back. I was on cloud nine. This was my heaven, her perfect lips molding with mine. It took me a moment to focus through the pure bliss I was feeling, but I soon remembered very critical information— Bella was no longer breakable.

I immediately coaxed her lips open with my tongue to deepen the kiss in a way I had wanted to since the beginning. Her hands running up my chest and around my neck made me feel incredible— finally whole, for the first time in so damn long. She was no longer warm like a human, but she still felt warm to me, and she no longer made my throat ache, but she still made all of my other senses inflame with fire. Her heart wasn't racing, but it didn't change the fact that I knew it would be if she were still human. I could also hold her as tightly as I wanted to now. As her fingers rubbed the nape of my neck, I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms tightly around her so her body was firmly pressed against mine. This was amazing. Feeling her in my arms again made me groan into her mouth, but her muffled moan in return made my own non-existent pulse race.

Reacting like I used to after I had kissed her for a long time, I broke the kiss and made quick work with my lips all over her jaw and down her neck and collarbone. I smiled into her neck as I inhaled, running my nose along her old pulse point. I could smell her intoxicatingly sweet scent just barely coming off of her skin there; I wouldn't have been able to smell it unless I was this close to her. I briefly wondered why her intoxicating scent was no longer strong in the air, but it didn't take me long to figure out the reason. As I noticed the rather familiar phenomenon, I couldn't help releasing a chuckle over it. I left a lingering kiss just behind her ear before whispering softly to her in amusement, "Breathe, Bella."

She immediately took in a deep breath, as I kept her in my arms— a place she would be for a long time if I had any say on the matter. When her honey brown eyes suddenly met mine, I found she was inches from me. Her face reflected minor irritation, likely over me and my actions which she would consider as nothing more than an attempt to dazzle her, but her eyes now sparkled with nothing but the love I had hoped for. I didn't think I really deserved any of it, but I was essentially selfish so I wasn't going to argue with her over it. I loved her way too much so why would I ever complain about her loving me in return? Her fingers tugged on the collar of my shirt lightly before she spoke pointedly at me in her melodious voice, "You were such an idiot, Edward."

I felt my face grimace at her scolding, but she was right. I accepted her assessment without penalty. Besides, I loved it when she said my name. "Yes." I tried for pity instead, "Have I mentioned how sorry I am yet?"

She gently hit me on the head as she let out a short laugh. How I loved that sound. "Yes, you have. Now, stop dazzling me."

I just held her tighter with one arm, my other hand coming up to caress the side of her face lovingly. I held her gaze, memorizing all of the new golden specks I was able to see so clearly. Everything about her was beautiful. I still felt the need to express how I felt to her though, at least one more time. "I love you…so, so much…and I'm so very sorry…for everything." I paused then as I watched her eyes brighten at my words. If she had been human, her heart would have probably stuttered and picked up speed, something that had always occurred when I had told her that I loved her back then. I was immediately taken aback in that moment. She was really here in front of me, and we were together again. Not only that, we could be together forever, something I had always wanted but had never been able to have before. It all felt so surreal. My voice held a bit of awe as I twisted a few strands of her hair in between my fingers and continued to stare at her beautiful features, "Do you have any idea how much I missed you?"

Her expression became more serious at my emotional tone, but her lips twitched with the tiniest hint of her smile. She was amused over my incredulity, I was sure. Her fingers lightly grazed the side of my face and glided gently across my lips as she responded, "I think we both have more than a rough idea about how much we missed one another, and as if you didn't already know or should have known for the longest time, I love you more than words can even say, Edward."

I could feel the wide grin stretching across my face as her words penetrated my thick skull, and her answering full, beautiful smile was absolutely breathtaking. How could this angel still have feelings for me after all that I had done and after so many years? How did I get so lucky to have found her, this woman who seemingly was made just for me? She was really here, and she was mine again. My girl, my angel, my love, my Bella. My lips found hers once more, and I knew in that moment, now that we were finally together, there would be nothing out there that could ever keep us apart again. Not even the Volturi would be able to do so. I would make sure of it. No, we would make sure of it. Both my family and…us. That last word made me practically euphoric.


	10. Chapter 9: The Plan

_She likes me for me—_

_Not because I sing like Pavarotti_

_Or because I'm such a hottie…_

_I like her for her—_

_Not because she's phat like Cindy Crawford,_

_She has got so much to offer,_

_Why does she waste all her time with me?_

_There must be something there that I don't see, I don't see…_

_She likes me for me—_

_Not because I'm tough like Dirty Harry,_

_Make her laugh just like Jim Carrey, unlike The Cable Guy…_

_But what she sees_

_Is that I can't live without her,_

_My arms belong around her,_

_And I'm so glad I found her once again…_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lost and Found – Chapter 9: The Plan

I could not get over the extreme peace and serenity I was currently reveling in now that I had the love of my existence back in my arms— not only for right now, but for the rest of eternity. Bliss. That was what this was. The two of us had talked about anything and everything—our memories, our feelings, my family, Jacob and the pack, her many powers, and more—until there was nothing more to say about the past. The past was over, and we were finally together. The future was what mattered now.

After that revelation, we had not needed anything but to be near one another, something we both had been deprived of for far too long. I had led the two of us to the Lake Superior waterfront at the edge of the forest, and from there, we had just basked in being with the other. The one thing I had always wanted, I now had. I got to hold the love of my existence in my arms. Not to mention that I got to steal as many kisses as she was willing to let me have, which so far, had been as many as I had wanted and more.

However, dawn was fast approaching, and I knew that the time alone with her was soon going to come to an end, at least for right now. I doubted that either of us would willingly part from the other for any exorbitant amount of time ever again, but my family would definitely be upset with me if I decided to monopolize Bella's time so that she would not have any time to give them. She was their sister, daughter, and friend just as she was my everything. As if Bella could understand my inner ramblings, I felt and heard her sigh into my chest and shift slightly against me before she lifted herself up to look down and meet my eyes. In the early morning light beginning to skim the tree tops, she looked beyond breathtaking as her skin began to have the tiniest hint of sparkle to it. I had never believed her when she had told me how beautiful I had been in the sunlight, but now that I had the privilege of looking at her that way, even if the sunlight was nowhere near as potent as when she had seen me, I couldn't help finding myself completely and thoroughly dazzled by her own ethereal beauty. Her eyes roamed over my entire face, her lips curving into her amazing smile, before she finally stated resignedly, "I'm afraid we are going to have to make our way back into the forest. There will be a human couple coming down to enjoy the sunrise in exactly 11 minutes and 44 seconds, and I happen to know that we will give them the fright of their life when they see the two of us sparkling like the Emerald City."

I couldn't resist a chuckle at that, my eyes evaluating her dark mahogany hair and beautiful honey-colored eyes. I ran my hand over her cheek softly as I commented teasingly, "You know, you do look like the perfect Dorothy Gale, love, although I'm unsure what they would see me as."

I was rewarded with her melodic laughter, her happy expression causing my heart to swell. I again felt my breath catch in my throat. When she finally stifled her giggles, she pulled the two of us up onto our feet so we could begin to make our way back. However, her eyes held a mischievous look to them as she backed away from me slightly before she teased back, "Well, some of your past decisions have been rather…brainless."

I growled at her playfully, particularly because she had dashed off into the forest directly after saying that, laughing as she ran away. I quickly gave chase to her sprint, but I didn't have to run very fast to catch up to her, seeing as she wasn't running all that quickly in the first place. The scarecrow. I mean, really? That was slightly annoying, and I could see both Emmet and Jasper holding it against me for many, many years, but for some reason, I loved her anyway and found her ability to tease me for my ridiculous decisions of the past to be endearing. It also made me incredibly hopeful that she didn't resent me in any way for them. I knew that her memories hadn't given me that suggestion when I had heard them, but I didn't know if she had thought in that way over the last few hours we had been together. As soon as I matched her pace, I took her hand into my own and brought it up to my lips. "Charming, love."

Her eyes sparkled as she looked over at me, and I was instantly tongue-tied as I brought us to a halt. It was clear her ability to dazzle me had improved greatly as a vampire. That was about three times in a matter of minutes. I was done for. Whipped for all eternity. And yet, I couldn't bother myself to mind at all. Her words were filled with excitement and humor as she randomly stated, "You want to see what I just saw for this Halloween? Well, so long as things always work in our favor anyways…"

My brow furrowed, and I became confused about what she meant, but she just stepped closer to me, shutting her eyes. Her soft fingers came to rest on either side of my cheeks and her nose scrunched up in the most adorable way. I was so content with merely watching her that I was completely startled when I heard, _Can you hear me, Edward?_

My eyes widened over the fact that she would let me so willingly hear her, but I somehow stuttered out that I could. That was when the blank slate cleared and suddenly I was looking at Alice and Rosalie arguing playfully, looking like the Wicked Witch and Glinda respectively. Then, I could see Emmet dressed up as the Cowardly Lion and Jasper decked out as the Tin Man, both of them laughing at the girls' play-fighting while directing kids around the neighborhood we were all walking through. However, my attention was drawn to the lovely brunette dressed as Dorothy Gale standing next to me while I was dressed in the best scarecrow outfit that Alice could possibly find. Bella looked ridiculously gorgeous and beyond tempting in her checkered dress, and not only was she holding onto my arm, but her eyes were brimming with happiness. We were all outside and were walking with tons of kids while they were trick-or-treating. We must've been acting as chaperones for the neighborhood, considering the kids were talking animatedly with us occasionally. The pictures flickered to an end, and I blinked as I heard Bella's giggles resume. "Ahh, your face is priceless. Now I see why Alice will take onto my idea so easily."

I rolled my eyes and pulled her into my arms so that she was barely standing on her own. "You know I would do anything for you. Dressing like a scarecrow to make you happy must obviously be one of those things."

She chuckled into my neck, leaving the softest touch of her lips against the skin there. That simple, gentle touch ignited flames across my whole body. She still had no idea what she was able to do to me. I tightened my grip around her, lifting her slightly in my arms so I could capture her lips with my own. That was far better than anything else in satiating my need to be close to her. She let me kiss her for a few seconds before she pulled back with a sigh. She leaned her forehead against my own, as if she didn't really want to stop either. "Alice will kill the both of us if we don't get back soon."

I left one kiss on her cheek before setting her carefully back on the ground with a sigh of my own. "Alice is probably jumping for joy right now, all things considered, but you're right— she will definitely be mad if she doesn't hear from the two of us soon."

Bella laughed at me then. "No, no, no… You misunderstand. The poor girl has not been able to see either of us for the last however many hours now. I suppose she has probably assumed that we're still together, considering I'm the one she can't see, but because the idea isn't confirmed and she doesn't know, she's likely very uncomfortable in her blindness."

My eyes widened as I thought about that. I also couldn't help thinking of the advantages we could have in private over that ability of hers. However, my inner gentleman promptly scolded me for my scandalous thoughts. I quickly responded, "I forgot that she couldn't see you if you didn't want her to. We should hurry back before she tries to find us. Jasper is the best tracker in the family…well, besides you now."

I grabbed her hand, and the two of us began running back in the direction of my, no, our home. However, something was troubling me so I asked her tentatively, "Why didn't you allow Alice to see us?"

Bella sighed, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. Her words were soft and hesitant, "You heard my thoughts about it already, Edward. I wasn't sure what we were going to discuss. I didn't want you to have to go back to her with her knowing everything if things ended badly. I also didn't want to be found if I had to leave."

I found myself going back through her memories, and it saddened me to know that she had doubted me so, even if I had given her every reason to think that I didn't care for her so long ago. I tightened my grip on her hand, as I tried to focus on the fact that she was here with me now and knew the truth. "I'm so sorry, my love. I don't think I'll ever be able to show you how much."

Out of nowhere, my sadness and guilt lifted, and I was quickly overcome with feelings of calm, compassion, and love. I must not have hidden my surprise very well because she chuckled. "I didn't mean to surprise you. Reading your emotions is less invasive than reading your thoughts, and I know that you have always had a hard time not brooding, but please don't— for me. You have no reason to feel guilty. The past is in the past, and we are together now. That is what matters. I know the truth behind everything now, and we can't move forward if we're always living in the past so no more brooding, Edward. Maybe I can finally cure that about you, or at the very least, give Jasper a break from it…"

I didn't think I could love this woman any more than I already did, but she was utterly amazing and still continued to surprise me. A part of me still thought myself unworthy of her, but the feelings of love coming from her were enough to sate myself that she found me worthy and that was what should matter. Since she could feel my emotions, I immediately thought and tried to feel how much I loved her so she would be able to know. I brought our entwined hands up to my lips before whispering against them softly, "I love you, Bella."

I watched her have trouble breathing for a moment, silently thrilled that I could still affect her just as much, before she responded, "I love you too, Edward."

We were quiet after that, and as we got within range of the house, I realized I couldn't hear any of my family's thoughts. I surveyed Bella curiously before just asking her, "Are you turning off my power?"

The wide-eyed, innocent expression on her face was completely adorable. _Oops. We were alone, and I forgot to keep allowing you your gift, seeing as it won't work on me anyway. Sorry, my love._

I just chuckled quietly. I would've responded, but that was when thoughts began to creep back into my head. Well, 'creep' was the tamer interpretation of how Alice's thoughts burst into my consciousness. _I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING! They've been gone for almost __ten__ hours now! TEN!! They __have__ to still be together if I can't see either of them, but what if he followed her if she ran off? How could they do this to me?! This is…I have no idea. She will owe me a butt-load of shopping for this, and he will just have to suffer through X-rated images from me of Jasper. That should do it. I want to __know__! And what if—_

Alice's thoughts were incredibly loud, and I had to quickly hush them. _I can't stand being close to my wife right now. I never thought I would ever say that, but her emotions are all over the place. Edward is going to pay. No one makes me stay away from Alice. I…_

So Jasper was somewhat pissed with me for taking so long, which was understandable. I'm sure his mood will change when Bella and I both arrived together…and together. _Hopefully, Eddie's finally a man. I can't wait to see if…_

I rolled my eyes in irritation and quickly switched to another mental voice. Emmet was beyond annoying to listen to sometimes. _I'm sure they are just getting reacquainted, but even __I'm__ starting to get annoyed with Alice. The girl looks like she is going to pop a blood vessel she doesn't have. Emmet is smiling at me again. He must be thinking about when I…_

I shuddered mentally at Rosalie's thoughts when they began to take an X-rated turn before finding the love-filled thoughts of Esme and the worried and curious thoughts of Carlisle. I concentrated on masking the voices down to mere whispers. I felt Bella squeeze my hand, and I heard her chuckling in my head. _Emmet's thoughts are atrocious. I don't know how you stand it. He's wondering if I threw you down and took wild advantage of you in the forest while also wishing Rosalie would do that to him…_

I couldn't stop myself from smiling with her, especially seeing as that idea had some definite merit. I couldn't stop myself from picturing it briefly, and suddenly, I was very much looking forward to that possibility in the future. "I know. That would've been fun though."

She shoved me playfully for my comment, but our moment was about to be ruined. My family had heard me speak and was now rushing out to meet me outside. Their excited and happy mental murmurs at seeing the two of us finally back together made me feel amazing. I felt like the luckiest man alive to finally have her back in my life. Alice suddenly ran forward toward Bella with the intent to hug her fiercely, but the air was suddenly filled with apprehension as Bella tucked herself behind me. The apprehension caused Alice to stop halfway and my entire family to tense. I could hear Bella then, and her thoughts were panicked. _What if I touch her and I hear everything, Edward? All of her past? I don't want to invade her privacy, and what about if she hears everything from me? And what if—_

I squeezed Bella's hand, hoping she was listening to my thoughts if she was talking to me this way. _Don't worry, Bella. After looking over our thoughts from earlier, you have to want me or someone to hear your thoughts while I wanted to at the same time. Also, nothing from me has updated in your mind since, has it? You must have to activate that power by wanting to hear her thoughts so you should be able to touch her without anything occurring. You are holding my hand right now, and nothing is happening._

I could feel the tension in the air and in my emotions recede. It was replaced with calm. This happened so quickly that Jasper hadn't realized what had happened, and he was adding his own calm to the atmosphere. I couldn't stop my own inner chuckles at seeing even Alice looking relaxed for once since she was being doubly affected. Bella tentatively stepped out from behind me, looking sheepishly back at my family. She eyed Alice for a moment before dropping my hand and stepping away from me so there was a few feet between us. She smiled slightly before opening up her arms and saying resignedly, "Ok, Alice."

_Bellabellabellabellabellabellabella! _ That was all Alice was thinking as she suddenly squealed and flew top speed at Bella. A crack littered the air as Alice threw her arms around Bella's neck while she laughed wildly. Bella must've braced herself because she only moved back a single step from the onslaught. She threw her arms around Alice too, a quiet laugh emitting slightly from her despite the fact that she was being squeezed to death from my overzealous sister. The rest of my family was looking on amusedly at their reunion. However, that immediately changed when Bella tensed slightly. "Oh."

Alice pulled back just as Bella's eyes opened and glazed over, a rather familiar mannerism. I quickly stood next to them both, but Bella was soon shaking her head obviously coming out of the vision. Alice was incredibly anxious. _Oh no, what did I do?_ "What did you see? Are you ok? I'm so sorry, Bella!"

Bella just sighed. "You don't have to apologize, Alice. It was nothing I didn't already know." Her eyes darkened in humor before she added, "I haven't had a random vision like that for years now. It must've been from being so close to the power source…"

As Bella chuckled over her little joke, the rest of us remained confused. Rose especially refused to let her leave us with merely that vague generalization. "Yeah, but what did you actually see? Is it important?"

Bella shook her head as she now looked deep in thought. "No, it was just what my next plans were. I have to go to my main apartment."

My brow furrowed at hearing this. She was going to leave me already? I inwardly panicked. She wouldn't. She couldn't. Not after I just found her again! What if something happened and I wasn't there? My frenzied thoughts were interrupted by Alice's. _That's not fair. I think I should be able to see everything too if it affects our family. She can't continue to block me._ "Don't you think we all should be able to know what's going on? Why won't you let me see you? Our family is too connected to you, and I can't see anything!"

Bella sighed. "Don't worry, I was already going to do that."

I watched her close her eyes and take a deep breath as she concentrated. I heard Jasper trying to mull through what he thought were the most convoluted emotions he had ever come across, but my attention was drawn to Alice as she tried to see Bella's future. The vision had me thoroughly confused. I was watching a blonde woman holding hands with some dark-haired guy as they walked through the streets of a large city at night. I knew that Bella could alter her appearance, but all I could focus on was who the hell was the damn guy she was with? None of her memories ever had him in them. I frowned when I noticed the name of the city on a distant sign. Even though I had known that Edmonton was the city of her main apartment and knew her reasons behind it, I was still weirded out by her choice, considering that city was known as the sunniest city in North America. Her chancing exposure so willingly made me cringe. I would never want anything to happen to her.

Alice's eyes were about to pop out of her head. Apparently, she shared my concerns because her thoughts were reeling. "How can you even look like that? And your apartment is in—"

Bella had flown forward and covered her mouth before she could say where her apartment was. Her eyes darted all around before she quickly hushed her with a quiet hiss. I watched Bella take a deep breath and look around in every direction. I could hear no one else mentally except for a few humans, but she was bound to be able to tell if there was anyone within a further radius. Sure enough, after a moment, she stepped back. Her face was apologetic. "Sorry, but that really is my main apartment. It's where I go when I really have to hide. I can't let its location be discovered."

Carlisle frowned at hearing that. _But now she will be with us so why would she still need to hide?_ "Aren't you going to stay here?"

Bella nodded slightly, but her eyes were looking distantly into the trees. "Yes, but there are other factors to consider now too. The Volturi know where you all are at this moment, and it's very difficult to hide alone, let alone in a party of eight. I can hide myself and others, but I've never tried to cover so many…so continuously. There will be holes in my shield…and I will get thirsty. The clearest future is me with you all, but then, hiding is no longer possible." She began to look slightly defeated before she continued more softly, "That makes me think…well, I think that's what they wanted. If I am easily found, as are all of you, then that means they want to be able to see me…well, us…for a reason. If I change anything, it's not good. I suppose it's because there is safety in numbers. I have been hiding from them for so long now that them merely having the power to find me whenever they want must be something of a victory for them. They all look so happy in Volterra right now. It's unnerving."

Esme interrupted before I could. _Oh, the poor dear._ "Then, why are you still going to your main apartment, if you know you will be safer here with us?"

Bella shot me a smile, which I appreciated, even though I was still in the dark myself about everything going on. Alice was still searching the future, but all she saw was Bella and that random bastard walking quickly through Edmonton. She couldn't see anything beyond that. Bella turned back to Esme, looking resigned. "I was already planning to go there. It's my only phone line, and I need to check my messages. It's been two weeks since I was last there. I also don't have any of my own belongings with me. While I'm sure Alice would love to buy me a new wardrobe, I would prefer she didn't. I have enough to last me about four lifetimes. My truck is also on the way. I can't just leave it where I left it."

Emmet couldn't resist a chuckle at hearing the last part. I found myself smiling very briefly at his memories over watching Bella in her decrepit Chevy way back when. I wondered what he would say when he saw her suped-up black Ford F150. "A truck, eh Bells?"

Bella looked affronted. "Don't knock my truck, Em."

My own amusement over her truck was short-lived as I was one again focusing on her going to Edmonton. If she was going alone, then who the hell was that asshole with her? I refused to let her go by herself in general, but especially if she was going to meet up with some jerk while she was at it. I would change that vision. "You are not going anywhere alone."

Bella just chuckled at my stubborn determination. My inner irritation over this whole situation was reaching an all-time high. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort to calm myself down. However, the gasps from my family caused me to re-open my eyes immediately. Bella was still standing near me, but she didn't look anything like herself. She now had shorter blonde straight hair and bright blue eyes; her face was no longer heart-shaped, but slightly elongated; and her pale skin had darkened slightly to the mildest hint of a tan. She held out her hand for me to take while she smirked and responded, "I know that I'm not going alone. You're more stubborn than a mule."

I must've still been looking at her blankly because she sighed and stated pointedly in my head, _Take my hand, Edward. I want you to change your appearance so you can come with me. Honestly, who else would be coming with me? Just wish for your appearance to be different, and it should change. I'm thinking that I want you to so it should work like it did with Aro's gift._

I felt like a grade A moron. Of course, she wouldn't be meeting someone or going with someone who wasn't me. Hadn't I already resolved earlier that I would never part from her presence, just as she would never part from mine, unless it was absolutely necessary? I couldn't help my jealousy, seeing as I had just gotten her back, but she loved me. I was going to have to keep remembering that. She obviously didn't hold my jealousy against me if her apparent mood was anything to go on. She seemed…amused. I was still unsure about how these powers of hers worked, but if I wanted to change my appearance when she also wanted me to borrow her power at the same time, it should work. That was what had happened the last time. I tentatively took her hand while wishing I looked like the man who was with her in Alice's vision. It must've worked because my family's thoughts were in complete shock. Emmet was the first to recover, his eyes almost popping out of his head, "Wow, Bella, you've been holding out on us…"

Bella shook her head carefully as she released our appearances back to normal for the time being. "Not really. This was a very, very recent discovery."

I noticed Carlisle looking me over knowingly at her words. _You used one of her powers by accident, didn't you?_ "That's…interesting. I suppose you were always rather selfless when you were human… Perhaps that is why it is no wonder you would be able to share your capabilities. I suppose I feel better about you not going by yourself…as well as not looking like yourself…but please don't linger that far away for too long. If the Volturi are planning something, we should be making plans as well."

Jasper nodded in agreement to the last part, ever the strategist. His pensive gaze turned directly to his wife. "What are the Volturi doing at this moment anyway? Should we be worried?"

Alice's thoughts were full of mixed pictures of Volterra, but nothing stood out as an attack against us. "I don't think so… I mean, they are all in Volterra…and look happy and relaxed, but nothing they are currently doing will affect any of us, including Bella."

Carlisle looked thoughtful. "But is there anyone missing from Volterra? Anyone that is gone specifically?"

Alice shrugged, not really knowing. The only members she had seen and knew personally were Aro, Caius, Marcus, Jane, and Demetri. However, we all had just met Afton and Chelsea yesterday in the clearing with Bella, and we all knew of Jane's twin brother, Alec, due to his unique infallibility. All of those members were accounted for in Volterra, and yet, I knew of one more now from Bella's memories. He was missing. This discovery made my eyes narrow and a low hiss managed to escape, despite my attempt to hide it. Bella squeezed my hand, answering before I could, "Felix is not in Volterra. He is…" She looked reluctant before she softly admitted, "…currently looking for me."

Her latter revelation caused me to release a low growl. His thoughts had been so flirtatious and annoying, and now he was looking for her too? Bella sighed and patted my hand gently as I felt her trying to soothe my anger. Her working with Jasper made my anger disappear more easily. I frowned, not appreciating their double efforts. Carlisle was observing me carefully out of the corner of his eye, but he focused his spoken questions to Bella. _You don't like him much, do you, Edward?_ "Is this a bad thing? You make it sound like it's not?"

Bella shrugged, flicking a tiny piece of dirt off the bottom of her shirt. "No, it's not really a bad thing. Edward and I should miss him as we make it to my truck, but even if we meet him, he won't do anything. He already is aware he shouldn't mess with me. He probably only has a message for me, considering what happened yesterday afternoon."

I noticed the small smirk cross Bella's features briefly, and I knew she was remembering the first time she and Felix had met, when Jane, Felix, and Demetri had called on her and she had allowed them to find her. I couldn't help but be happy with that memory as well, considering she had tossed Felix around like a rag doll. Despite his dirty thoughts about my Bella, he had always been helpful to her in the past. After that first encounter, he had actually been a sort of friend to her because he did, in fact, not like how the Volturi wouldn't let her be. He had only been with the Volturi over the last 150 years or so, and he had never seen them act so maliciously over a vampire before. It confused him, especially as he thought Bella to be so nice and normal. He was their message boy to her now as a result, seeing as he was the only one she would stop and listen to. _Edward?_

My head turned automatically back to Carlisle at his mental call. He wanted my opinion on the matter. I was resigned even though I was still frowning. I practically forced out my very reluctant opinion, "He is not a threat."

Bella squeezed my hand again, probably trying to use her touch to soothe me further. It did help…some. Her honey brown eyes gazed up at me thoughtfully causing even more of my anger to fade. "Do you need to grab anything? We should leave now. The quicker we leave, the quicker we will return."

I shook my head and turned back to our family. "I have my cell phone."

They all appeared slightly worried for us, but Esme was the one who caught my attention— her thoughts were stronger than most when she was worried. _Be safe, Edward. Take care of her. I know you might think she may not need you to now, but you're wrong._ "How long will you be?"

I looked my mother over carefully, slightly confused by her words, but I would take them to heart. I would always protect Bella, even if she didn't need me to. Bella crinkled her nose and stated, "Not more than a day or two. We'll have to stay put during the day, as it will be sunny in the city today and tomorrow. We will get there tonight and leave tomorrow night."

Rose couldn't hide her surprise over Bella's slight revelation. "It will be sunny? Why in the world are you living somewhere sunny?"

Alice chuckled at Rose's silly question. "No one has ever looked for you where it's sunny, have they, Bella?"

Bella just smiled back at everyone mischievously. "Well, they haven't…yet. However, it does create some mobility issues for me. They might not be able to come to me when it's sunny, but I also can't leave. That's why I can't let its location be discovered. I would be surrounded very quickly and would have to fight my way out during the shortened nighttime hours— not that I don't already have a few traps set up for something like that already, just in case. But truly, don't worry about us. I promise we'll both be very safe."

We quickly finished our goodbyes and headed north within the forest together. As soon as we were out of range of my family and had finally just crossed the American-Canadian border, I heard Bella sigh softly and there was a sense of guilt lying in the air. This perked my curiosity, naturally, and I couldn't resist questioning her about it. What in the world was she feeling guilty for? "What is it?"

Her expressive eyes gave away that she hadn't been entirely truthful about something before, and it put me ill at ease. She pulled us both to a stop and began fiddling with her fingers in front of me. _I'm sorry, Edward, but if I had told you when we were back with our family, you would've reacted more violently than if I told you now. I need to tell you so you are not surprised because that would be an even more violent reaction than if I had told you with the family._

My brow furrowed in confusion, and I instantly became wary. Why would she think I would get upset? I knew everything about her now so I was sure this wasn't something about her past. It had to have been a vision she hadn't wanted to share with my family. I frowned, realizing she must've pulled something over Alice as well. I braced myself for the worst while trying to make sure I would remain as calm as possible. "What did you see?"

She looked apologetic, and she bit her lower lip as she seemed to struggle to tell me what she was hiding. She spoke very quietly and her voice was littered with remorse as she suddenly blurted out, "I lied when I said we would miss Felix. He should be approaching us anytime now. He followed my dirt bike trails and knew I would be around here somewhere. The reason I'm warning you is because he will likely be using the tactic he likes to do to annoy me. I guarantee it will drive you crazy…I mean, it drives me crazy so…"

I growled softly as I realized exactly what she was trying to say before she trailed off. Felix liked to think incredibly dirty things about her to get her attention, seeing as he knew she would open her thoughts while she was running. He knew she would make her presence known if he made her mad. However, I could never be angry with her for not telling me right away, even if I was beyond pissed at the situation now before us. I knew that I likely would have flipped out back at the house and would have wanted us to miss him entirely. I especially would have flipped out if I just randomly started hearing his thoughts without any warning. She had done the right thing and had picked the best time to notify me. I struggled to control my temper. I wasn't mad at her, just what I was going to have to listen to. The calm permeating the air was also tinted with her own anxiousness so my anger didn't dissipate very easily. My eyes still narrowed and my tone still held a cold bite when I spit out, "How long?"

She placed a hand on the side of my face to soothe me more easily through contact, her golden eyes alight with her own annoyance over Felix's approaching presence. _I can sense him now. We should hear his thoughts very soon. I'm sorry, but please don't let him get to you. Don't speak anymore. I'll be able to hear your thoughts instead, just until he is gone for good._

I scowled, trying to keep my mental distaste over Felix at bay as much as possible if she was listening to me now. I must not have done a good job because Bella grimaced. I was definitely not used to someone listening to my thoughts. Considering she could do it at any time in the future, I supposed I ought to get used to it. I knew she would always tell me when she was doing it though, which was nice. Bella was clearly anxious as she listened to my thoughts. _I'm sorry, Edward. Really, I am. Any information he gives us will only help us against the rest of the Volturi. He is also very…giving…in his thoughts— more than necessary. There are many things he will give away that he probably won't mean to. He has no mental discipline._

My eyes softened as I evaluated her dejected expression. She couldn't help this situation just as I so I knew I had to just get over it. I ran a finger over her cheek gently. _I know, but it doesn't mean I will like hearing the things he thinks about firsthand, love._

She chuckled weakly in my head as she looked over to her left, her golden eyes searching for something we both couldn't see quite yet. _I know, but just remember you're the only one I want. I love you, Edward. I always have. Besides, that's just gross. It's like if I had had an older brother and Felix was his best friend. He's beyond perverted, but his actions are only innocent flirting which means nothing. He just wants to tease and piss off his best friend's little sister. Does that make any sense?_

I couldn't resist smiling slightly at her summary of how she viewed her relationship with Felix. It was interesting, but I guess I understood it better after hearing her convoluted explanation. I still didn't like it, but I did know that all of the dirty thoughts truly did mean nothing. However, my brief amusement took a sour turn when I began to hear and see thoughts I would have preferred to discover on my own and in a real sense.

An image of a more voluptuous version of Bella dressed in scantily clad scarlet lingerie which matched the fake scarlet eyes she now possessed began to appear within my mind. This Bella pouted playfully at an imaginary Felix before speaking seductively to him in fluent Italian. I instantly regretted ever learning the language, considering I was forced to listen to my Bella, however unreal the image was, try and seduce the mental image of Felix— not to mention that the imaginary Bella was easily succeeding in her seduction. It was the cheesiest and most nightmarish Italian soap opera I had ever seen in my long life, and I couldn't help myself as I released a deep growl in warning. It was something unconscious, a demonstration of protection and possession. Bella was my mate. She was mine.

My body was rigid with intense fury, my fists clenched tightly at my sides as I continued to watch and listen to this distasteful nonsense. My rage continued to escalate as the mental image of Bella began to do a sort of strip tease dance in front of a very willing mental image of Felix, but I had reached my limit when the mental image of my Bella reached backwards to start removing the little bit of clothing she had on. However, before I could react in the violent fashion I had already started planning, I heard a fierce snarl close to me which stole my focus entirely and the mental imagery and sounds cut straight to black. I turned slightly and noticed that Bella's eyes were now pitch black. She was obviously incensed, if her lack of control over her powers was anything to go by. Apparently, she had liked the images even less than I. Her hard stare was focused on the trees to our left, where Felix now stood approximately a mile away. As her anger started to ebb, I began to hear Felix's thoughts again. _…was a bit too much for you, eh Bells? I suppose I __did__ take it a bit far, but still, it was funny, right? That was a thought from Demetri though so please don't throw me around again, especially since it wasn't __my__ original thought._

Bella snarled a second time, but this time it was done more out of annoyance. She scoffed, "Funny? Do you want me to show you funny, Felix?"

Felix's body became tense and he stayed exactly where he was, his bright red gaze turning fearful. _No. Please, Bella! I don't want to be thrown around again._ "Uhh, I'm sorry? And I didn't realize you'd have company, Bells… I should have been more polite. I was just under the impression you had one heck of a day yesterday and wouldn't want to talk to me. I needed you to stop and listen."

Bella scowled, but gestured quickly. "Felix, Edward. Edward, Felix. And you had to have known I would no longer be alone. If you were sent to tell me a message, I guarantee you heard why."

Felix's gaze turned contemplative, and he surveyed me intensely as he approached us both carefully. I saw myself in his thoughts then, my wild black eyes and obvious defensive stance, as he sized me up. _So this is the famous Edward Cullen. He looks as crazy as Aro said he would be. He said they would probably get back together quickly, but they have a closeness which I don't understand after just a mere day. Aro won't believe this when I'm forced to show him this confrontation. At least I won't have to travel across the entire North American continent four times over before she decides to give me a break and talk to me anymore._ "Well, I guess I heard a bit from Demetri. He really doesn't like you, you know."

Bella had seen me clench my fists even more tightly after hearing his more recent thoughts, and she quickly ran her hand over my arm, easing my tension. _Be calm, Edward. He seems to have forgotten about your talent. Well, either that, or he's asking you to hurt him…_ "Well, I don't like him either so we're even. Now, just tell me what you have to tell me so we can all get on with our lives. What does His Highness want now?"

Felix snickered as he finally came within 50 feet of the both of us. He chose not to approach any further. He knew that that was close enough, considering Bella could throw him around without even touching him. "You know he wants you in Volterra, Bella. Now that he can find you whenever he wishes, or so he thinks because I give you more credit than he does, he wishes to invite you to a Ball to be held in your honor there. He wants to know an address to send the invite."

I rolled my eyes at this ridiculous nonsense and couldn't stop myself from snapping back at him, "He knows our address. That's where she will be."

Felix gave me a smirk. _He's got a bit of a temper, eh Bells? Good thing you're such a spitfire. I bet all of that passion works out nicely for you both…in the bedroom._ My eyes narrowed at his thoughts, and it was only then that I became aware that he knew exactly what I could do. He was trying to piss me off. I forced myself to not kick his ass. Bella growled at him and interrupted before I could, which was a good thing because I wouldn't have stayed polite. "Watch it, Felix, or I'll let Edward take you out. I have no idea why this was so important. He can send all of the invitations he wants, but he knows that I will never show up and neither will the Cullens. What does he really want?"

Felix's brow furrowed. _I'm well aware of that, but what Aro says to tell you, I do._ "He wouldn't divulge any more information to me on the subject, but I was under the impression he would be giving you a reason to be there…or you would already be there prior to the Ball somehow. You know I think this is all a waste of time." His red eyes looked me over carefully. _All this fuss over a bunch of animal lovers… Weird. So what if they eat animals?_ "All teasing aside, you must know that I find his insane obsession more than a bit ridiculous."

I frowned, no longer really all that upset with this Felix. I now understood why Bella didn't find him to be all that bad. I suppose he could keep the dirty thoughts about Bella to himself, but I knew he was just doing it to poke fun, now that I had met him in person. He really seemed to be an ok guy. I suppose Bella being able to sense his emotions in combination with his thoughts helped her to be able to notice that about him much more quickly. I'm sure my jealousy hadn't helped his case with me either. I now wondered what he was going to be subjected to back in Volterra for giving away so much information to us. "You're sure you want to say such things to us when Aro will read your thoughts when you return?"

Felix shrugged, looking completely indifferent. "I'm not concerned. That's why he doesn't tell me everything. He knows I find his interest in Bella to be silly. He will never break her will, and she is stronger than most vampires, including those in Volterra, so even if she somehow was pulled into Volterra, I doubt he would be able to hold her there." His gaze returned to Bella. "You know I'm not the only one in Volterra with these thoughts, although their reasons may differ. I believe Heidi, Jane, and Alec don't want you there either. The others more or less are following orders and think you a valuable monster they can break and sway to Aro's cause."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Jane just wants to kill me. She doesn't like that I hold Aro's interest when she used to be his special pet. Alec just wants Jane to be happy again so he wants me dead too. Heidi hates me because I'm prettier than she is so she also wants me gone. Her vanity would take a larger hit if we introduced her to Rosalie." I let out a hiss at Bella's nonchalance over anyone wanting her dead. She hugged my arm to her to calm me, but I was drawn to Felix when he began thinking about how much more relaxed she looked when she was near me, which I found interesting. _Stop it, Edward. Her power is useless against me, which makes her nothing more than a 12 year old vampire in my presence. She may be fierce, but her youth, even if I was not using any of my powers, would hinder her and allow me an easy time in overtaking her. You know this._ She continued speaking with barely even taking a break, "Thanks for letting us know about this ridiculous Ball though. You can tell Aro that I'm thoroughly delighted to receive such an honor, even if I won't be in attendance. I have better things to do with my time." _Namely, spending an infinite amount of time with you, Edward._

My lips twitched upwards at her idea for spending her future time, mainly because it was something I wanted as well. Felix just sighed at Bella's sarcasm. _Always a pleasure, Isabella._ "I will let Aro know of your address and of your obvious decline to his invitation. If you do decide to show up, I'm sure it will make the party that much better." He gave her a wink before nodding back at me. "Nice to officially meet you, Edward."

Bella waved to him before saying lightly, "Bye, Felix. Best make sure you start heading east and stay east until you reach the Toronto airport to head back to Italy. If you make any detours or attempt to follow us, I'll know."

I couldn't stop a wide grin from crossing my features, considering she had tapped her head like I have seen Alice do a million times in the past. Felix just rolled his eyes before he took off into the forest heading east. _I'd be an idiot to follow you, Bella. Do you think I want to be ripped apart by a 110 pound __girl__? How would I ever live that down? I have more dignity than to die like that. By the way, next time, I could do with less dirt bike trails— 23 false trails were a pain in the ass to sort through._

I chuckled at his thoughts as they became softer and softer before fading out entirely. I thought back over the last bits of conversation, and I could only come up with three things that seemed out-of-place: 1) Aro was holding a Ball, but we didn't know the real reason behind this and it could just be an excuse to get Bella in Volterra; 2) Aro expected that Bella would be at this Ball no matter what her own opinions over the Ball were which meant that he had some sort of plan we hadn't seen yet; and 3) Felix had mentioned that there seemed to be a lot of fuss in Volterra over the 'animal lovers' which meant that Aro not only had a problem with Bella, but likely our family and possibly even the Denali coven as well. Bella sighed, and my attention was instantly drawn back her way. Everything about her drew my attention. She smiled up at me slightly, her hold on my arm tightening. "That's sweet of you to say, Edward. Your presence holds all of my attention as well."

My brow furrowed, but I understood why she had sighed now. "You were sighing at my thoughts then. Do you agree or disagree?"

She held my gaze thoughtfully. "Agree, for the most part. I am most concerned about your #2 and #3. I know that Aro wants me for the Volturi, but I know from you that he wouldn't mind having you or Alice either. Since Alice comes with Jasper, he would likely take all 4 of us, if we let him. However, his preoccupation with us being vegetarians does seem suspicious. It makes me wonder…well, maybe he is pushing us all together for a reason. I am now with you all, and he knows how close you all are with the Denali coven. He knows Carlisle will contact them first for help. If we're all being pushed together, it could mean he wants to take us all out and fish for his favorites to remain in Volterra with the Volturi."

I couldn't help but frown. I did not like the idea of my family being in danger. However, the first memory that came to me then was the last time we had seen Aro, when he had come to ask about Alice and myself joining the Volturi and we both had denied him. The thought he had had in his head then had been: _So they say now, but I know I can change their minds later._ Suddenly, I wondered if he had been planning everything since that point in time. He had already touched me and knew my history with Bella and my wishes for death by the time he decided to proposition us, but his denial to my request for death had been so quick and he had merely chuckled at our vehement refusals to join him which meant that he must've already seen Bella as a vampire from someone else's mind. He had put two and two together and had known from the moment he found out I thought her to be dead that he could use that information to his advantage. His mind had been rather methodical while he had stayed with us those few days. Now, everything seemed to click. He had been guarding his thoughts in my presence the whole time. I knew that my preoccupation with my own depression had caused me to miss more than I normally would have. I should have been suspicious back then, but at least I could finally be suspicious now. My voice was grave as I muttered out resignedly, "You might be right, my love."

There was worry in her beautiful eyes as she searched my eyes, and I couldn't help but try and wipe away some of it. I leaned down and kissed her softly, my hands feeling the tension subside from her as they ran along her neck and shoulders. My lips brushed hers softly as I whispered against them, "Let's not think on this now, Bella."

She gave me one last chaste kiss before falling into my arms, her own wrapping around my midsection so she could hold me closer. I could feel the love and relaxation radiating out from her, and it made me smile. She obviously didn't have the control Jasper had in keeping her emotions inside of her. I kind of liked that, seeing as I could infer more about her mood and thoughts that way. I pulled her tightly against my body and kissed the top of her head, enjoying the moment I had with her and the quiet contentment it made me feel. I eventually heard her sigh a few minutes later. She spoke into my chest, "We should get going. Felix won't deviate from what I see, and I trust him. My truck is about a fifteen minute run north of here."

I reluctantly let her out of my arms and followed her as she began to run, my hand still entwined with hers. It wasn't long before we came upon her black truck seemingly parked in the middle or nowhere and hidden in the underbrush and trees of the forest. I was surprised when she immediately hopped in the passenger seat. She just chuckled at my confusion. "I know you would rather drive, not that I drive all that slow anymore. Besides, I think I should try and concentrate on any recent decisions made by any of the members of the Volturi. We need to find some kind of connection to what we heard from Felix."

I nodded and jumped in the driver seat, smiling lightly at how well she knew me. My eyes traveled all over the interior, admiring some of the unique updated controls as I mentally familiarized myself with everything in the truck. Seeing it through her memories hadn't done it justice. I was impressed that Bella, of all people, had had such unique things done to her vehicle to make it better and faster. However, my gaze strayed to the dirty white dress she had been wearing in the clearing. It was lying in a pile on top of a backpack behind the passenger seat. She had looked beyond gorgeous in that dress and it was too bad it had been ruined. The fact that the dress was present in the car made me realize that she had come back to her car to change before coming to our house. She had changed…in this car. She had removed clothing…ok, that was enough. I shook my head, but I still couldn't get the image out of my head. I tried to think about something else immediately. Her truck. Cars. My cars. My old Volvo. Nope, not working. I was interrupted by the most adorable giggle. As I met my beloved's face, the wicked smirk she had on her face made me nervous. Her voice was absolutely intoxicating as she asked me, "Just what are you thinking about? The lust coming off of you makes me want to jump you right here."

I shook my head a second time. She was teasing me, but I would be blushing so badly if I could. I was a gentleman, and damnit, I was going to continue to be one. I just gave her a sheepish grin. She didn't seem too upset with me. I knew she had thought about me that way before just as she knew I had thought about her. I eventually just admitted, "Well, there is nothing sexier than a beautiful woman in a hot car."

She threw back her head and laughed, and I loved watching her look so happy and carefree. "If you think this is sexy, you should see me in my Bugatti. This truck has nothing on that."

I gulped unconsciously as my thoughts strayed to that amazing piece of machinery she had in a garage near the apartment we were heading to. It was specially painted in a metallic midnight blue. My Bella in a sexy dark blue car…I would be done for. My thoughts swirled as I thought about it more intensely. I was tongue-tied when I finally responded, "I…yeah, I would…umm…think so."

She giggled at my flustered expression and leaned over to kiss me on my cheek. "We better get going before we never leave. Just head to the garage where my Bugatti is. I'll leave my truck there too. We'll do everything on foot from there."

I mumbled out, "Yeah, you're probably right," but I still pulled her lips roughly against my own anyway, tempting myself even further. It took all of my self-control to release her and start the engine of the truck. I licked my lips, still tasting her there, my eyes focusing anywhere but on her as I heard her recovering in the passenger seat from the intense kiss we had just shared. If I looked at her now, I would probably throw all caution to the wind. It was unbelievable how much I loved her…wanted her, but I would do this right. I sighed and shifted the truck into gear. It was going to be an extremely long drive to Edmonton, even with my speeding habits.


	11. Chapter 10: The Surprise

_Those flashing lights come from everywhere—_

_The way they hit her, I just stop and stare…_

_I'm love stoned from everywhere,_

_And she knows…I think that she knows…_

* * *

Lost and Found – Chapter 10: The Surprise

I was inwardly grumbling to myself as Bella and I finally approached her apartment complex. I was holding her hand tightly, more tightly than usual in an effort to convey my dissatisfaction over her still being so amused over what had happened. However, when Bella glanced back over at me, her now blue eyes all alight with mischief while she bit her lip to hide her smile, I couldn't seem to stay even mildly upset with her. She ran her free hand over my face as she turned and stepped in front of me. She wasn't close enough for me to fully feel her body though, but I knew that was because I was absolutely filthy and not because she didn't want to wrap her arms around me. She giggled slightly as her fingers moved gently over my grim expression. "Stop pouting, Edward."

I growled at her softly, but I felt my lips twitching upwards against my will. I soon was struggling to keep myself from smiling back at her. Her happiness was intoxicating. I did my best to try and be stern anyway, "It wasn't that funny, Bella."

She bit her lip again before shaking her head in disagreement. "Yes, it was."

I groaned and swiveled her around so we were once again walking back up to the entryway. I wanted to get upstairs so I could clean up. I hissed at her quietly, "You had to have seen that coming. You let it happen, you little minx."

Bella full out laughed at that, and although the security guard at the entrance to the building was frowning at how loud she was being this late at night, he was also watching my beautiful Bella intently while he listened wistfully to her melodic laugh. _She sure is beautiful. I haven't seen her here for awhile. I look for her every evening. She must've been staying at his place. Lucky bastard._ I watched out of the corner of my eye as this simple human male appraised me. He took in my dirty jeans, slightly ripped shirt, and all around dishevelment before apparently deciding that I probably wouldn't last long. _He's not __that__ good looking…and how in the world did he get so dirty?_

I growled lowly at his thoughts, particularly because Bella seemed completely oblivious to his amorous behavior. Besides, I didn't need him reminding me that I looked like a train wreck, even if I didn't look anything like myself in the first place since we had altered our true appearances. Bella's sigh brought my attention back to her. She was still smiling at me, and she sent some of her contentment and love my way as she spoke, "I swear to you, Edward, that I did not see that coming. I would have said something."

Her eyes held my gaze as she said all this, and there was no way I didn't believe her. I leaned down and kissed her lips gently in reply, quietly enjoying the security guard's dismay over my public claim on her. There was also no way he could hear us that far away, which was a good thing, considering we weren't supposed to be using our real names. She was supposed to call me something else. Her name was Amber Wilson here.

When I pulled away from her, she walked us quickly to 'check her mail' at the 24 hour management office. She kept her hold of my hand, and I let her drag me around, considering we needed to maintain skin-to-skin contact for me to remain in my changed appearance. As she flirted slightly with the older gentleman behind the counter, I couldn't help but smirk as she played up what she called the perfect ditzy blonde blue-eyed girl she had made herself out to be here. I leaned against the counter in the office as I waited for her, thinking back over the last couple of hours I had had with her instead of paying close attention to her acting.

My favorite part of the day had been when we had finally pulled into the parking garage where she kept her vehicles in storage. I had been openly admiring her Bugatti as she got the few things she had had with her out from her truck. I could admit that I had been rather, uhh, 'decidedly distracted' so when I suddenly found her giggling in front of me as she restrained me against the door of her truck, I had been extremely surprised. Her voice was innocently seductive as she stated in a no nonsense fashion, "Mr. Cullen, if you have more lust for my car than for me, I think we need to sort out a few things."

I couldn't help but laugh at her feeling my lust for her for the second time that day, and I wasn't sure if she let me or if I really was able to break her hold all by myself, but I was somehow able to pin her against the side of her Bugatti before she could stop me. I immediately tried to turn the tables back on her as I somehow found the balls to whisper into her neck, "When I am thinking of you in nothing but a pair of dark blue panties while you are in your Bugatti, Ms. Swan, I think I will have a high amount of lust for your car at that given moment."

Yes, that had been an extremely nice moment. I had discovered that I was still able to dazzle her into being just as breathless as she had been when she was human. This made me feel slightly smug, even if her own dazzling power was more apparent now that she was more…durable. I think the two of us finally left the garage hand-in-hand with big smiles some twenty minutes later when we realized we had to get going.

My gaze lowered to the floor as I hid the huge grin I was still sporting from merely remembering those twenty minutes of bliss. However, the grin faded as I took in my muddy clothes…again. Now, this would be my worst moment of the day. I tripped…and fell…into the mud…by accident. ME. I, Edward Cullen, considered one of the more graceful out of my entire family, TRIPPED over NOTHING.

I sighed as I remembered the moment. I supposed it was partially my own fault. I had been staring a little too long at Bella's ass in those jeans as we made our way out of the forest we had just run through, and I realized I was stepping on softer ground so I became a little hasty to get past that area. With my sight not paying attention to where I was going, I realized a little too late that I was wandering through a garden that had been watered very, very recently. Of course trying to stop and go around something while moving quickly in a forward direction was a penchant for disaster. I tripped over my own two feet and landed directly in a pile of muddy chrysanthemums.

Bella's face as she heard me stumble had been priceless. She had been shocked as she turned around to see what was going on behind her, but her shock turned quickly to full out mirth as she watched me face plant in the dirt. I was not as amused, naturally. However, I could see her point of view. She had been the clumsy one for so long, and then for her to see me, ME, so much as stumble had likely been her own form of redemption.

That whole fiasco had led us to our impromptu shopping trip, as I had not brought any additional clothes with me. Thank you, Alice. She usually saved us all from embarrassing situations such as that with her gift, but not this time. Nope, not so much as a phone call. I suppose I hadn't really decided to stare at Bella's ass until close to that moment, but still. As a result, Bella and I had broken into the first store we saw on the main drag, seeing as everything was closed past midnight. It was some preppy store, but I was able to find some clothes that fit. Bella had placed all of the things into her backpack, and we finally started heading to her apartment complex.

A soft hand caressed my shoulder then, and I turned immediately to see Bella's smiling face. Even if she looked different, her eyes were still as expressive as ever, and her smile was exactly the same. "Ready to go, beautiful?"

She nodded quickly, her smile oddly tense as she dragged me toward the elevator. As soon as the doors opened, she pulled me inside and practically jumped into my arms, regardless of how dirty I was. As her free arm wove around my neck and her lips found mine, I was caught off guard by the suddenly loud, angry thoughts coming my way, _No! She was smiling at __me__! She even tossed her hair and gave me a glimpse of the skin of her waist as she reached up to get her mail from George! Now, who the hell is that with her? She's __always__ alone. Not fair!_

As the elevator doors closed, I broke our kiss, even though I didn't want to. I tried in vain to sort through her memories, but couldn't exactly place the voice I had just heard through my thoughts without spending an exorbitant amount of time with specifics of her various encounters. I asked her teasingly instead, "Friend of yours?"

She groaned pitifully as she leaned her forehead against what appeared to be the only clean spot on my chest. "My nosy neighbor. He has…a crush. I avoid him, but for some reason, he arrived just as we were leaving the office. You didn't notice him? I'm sure his thoughts are atrocious. The lust he gives off is revolting. I noticed it straight off and pulled us out of there."

I chuckled as I could now find a memory of Bella running away from a persistent and over-eager Mike Newton wannabe as she ran to her apartment. The guy in question lived down the hall and always seemed to wait for her to leave and return. I ran my free hand over her hair as I wrapped our clasped hands around her back and held her to me. "I didn't notice anyone come in. I was only thinking of you."

She looked up at me then with a bright smile as she murmured too softly for the elevator camera to pick up, "I love you, Edward Cullen."

I leaned over and nuzzled her neck as I whispered just as quietly back, "As I love you, my Bella."

As Bella was nowhere near as dirty as I was, she merely directed me straight into her bathroom once we finally made it inside her apartment. I held back a sigh as I used her shampoo to rid myself of the now dried mud in my hair. It wasn't her old strawberry scent from so long ago—they had stopped making that brand a few decades back. However, her new shampoo of choice held a sort of floral scent, something like jasmine or roses that complimented her natural freesia scent to an intoxicating degree.

I vaguely listened as I heard her voicemail messages playing from her bedroom. There were only two, and both had been from Jacob which wasn't surprising. No one else had her number except for perhaps his wife or the Quileute elders he may have given it to for emergencies. I furrowed my brows when I could tell he seemed a bit tense over something. At the same time, Bella must've thought nothing of it as she didn't call him back after that. She must not have noticed anything out of the norm so I let it go.

Instead, she put on some music, keeping the volume low as the hour was rather late. It was a collection of classical music, starting with Nocturne in C Sharp Minor by Chopin. I smiled as I listened to the soothing tune. I could hear her rummaging through her belongings so she was likely finding things she wanted to take with her.

I quickly finished up and reluctantly put on the jeans and dark blue polo t-shirt I had found at that store. Although I would never admit it to Alice, I supposed there was some truth about more expensive clothes fitting better and feeling more comfortable, not that the clothes I had picked up were horrible or anything—they were just different. I made my way hesitantly over to Bella's bedroom, but before I could consciously think about that act any further, she was in front of me. She appraised me with a smirk. "You look handsome."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, love. I see you changed as well."

She waved a hand at me before she motioned for me to follow her back into her room. "I was just a bit muddy so I changed my shirt. I wanted to pack first and get everything done before I shower just yet." She turned and looked at me with what I was sure was a knowing smile. "I can see you want to change back into your other clothes before we leave so you can go throw them in the wash now, if you want."

I chuckled at her understanding before sighing resignedly. "It's really just the jeans."

She nodded, and my eyes were immediately locked onto her lips when she bit them to stifle her own giggles. "Right then. Don't worry, I won't tell Alice. Even I have learned to like wearing more expensive jeans. It'll be our secret."

I chuckled with her before zooming off to start a load of laundry. We typically didn't need to do all that much laundry normally, considering Alice's penchant for buying everyone a new wardrobe each month, but all of us did have some favorite items of clothing that we actually chose to wash. Once that was started, I helped Bella get some of her things together. Over the course of the next two hours, she had three large bags of what she believed were essentials, and I left them waiting near the front door.

Once I returned, I found her peaking around her curtain on the window. There was now a slight breeze to the room as well. She didn't miss a beat and responded to my unasked question, "The sun is starting to come out. I always leave my window open so I can smell the outside. If we're stuck here, we should at least know what's around us. I hope that's ok."

I wrapped my arms around her from behind, my eyes drawn to the sliver of skin she held in the approaching sunlight. I ran my finger gently over the area in awe. My Bella. She was so ridiculously beautiful, and she still didn't realize it. She sighed and broke my admiration of her dazzling sparkle. Well, almost. I questioned her, despite still being a bit distracted, "Hmmm?"

She turned slightly in my arms so she could look up at me. Her other hand came to rest on my face, and I wondered at her expression. She looked curious and hesitant for some reason. "It doesn't seem weird to you? Me like…this, that is?"

I frowned at her question, but I didn't want her to get the impression I was frowning at her so I hurried to add emphatically, "No, of course not. I love you, Bella. Human or vampire makes no difference to me. Besides, you are still very much who you were. Sure, you're unbreakable now and you no longer blush, but when you're embarrassed, it's still plenty obvious— your face still reacts the same way. Your mannerisms are the same too, and you are still the loving, shy, brave, beautiful woman I fell in love with way back then." I watched her as she processed what I was saying, smiling slightly as her nose scrunched up and her face tucked down a bit, every bit proving my point. I leaned down and kissed the skin just beneath her ear as I held her more tightly to me. "I love you, you silly girl."

I felt her smile into my chest, and I couldn't help feeling proud that I could relieve her worries…that I had even found her to begin with. She was my whole life. My life truly hadn't started until I had met her, and now, I had her by my side for the rest of eternity. I was a lucky man. We stood there quietly for a few minutes before she pulled away. "I am going to shower now. You can look for something we can do to waste the day away. Oh, and your laundry will be done in the dryer in about six minutes or so."

She reached up and kissed me quickly on the cheek before running off to her bathroom. I tried in vain to not think about her in the shower, but the sound of running water and her barely audible humming which was completely in tune with the classical piano music playing behind me plus the added scent of her shampoo in combination with her own natural scent left me quite captivated and aching with want. When I finally heard the ding of the dryer, I scurried away from the bedroom and the bathroom just so I could behave myself.

What the hell was wrong with me? I had grown up in a time where morals and decorum were strictly adhered to for relationships. Despite meeting Bella in a time when such morals and propriety were not as prominent, I had always planned on maintaining that type of behavior with her. The times now were much of the same as they had been when I had first met Bella, but I still couldn't help wondering where my lack of discipline in regards to manners and morals had suddenly gone to. It was as if I couldn't even help thinking of Bella romantically and sexually no matter what it was that we were doing. Nothing was different exactly, right?

Well, there was something different. Bella was a vampire now. Was that why? I supposed there were no additional boundaries we had to consider now. She was mine, and I was hers. Yes, we weren't technically married, but we had already declared ourselves as such by accepting each other as mates. Perhaps that was all that had made the difference. I grumbled to myself as I pulled my clothes roughly out of the dryer and quickly changed back into them. It didn't matter. I was still going to be the gentleman I grew up to be. I wanted Bella to be my wife, piece of paper and all. I was going to do this right. She deserved to be treated this way. I loved being chivalrous with her anyway.

I listened and heard her moving about her room, opening a few drawers here and there. When it had been a couple more minutes, and there was a period of silence, I knew she had to have been dressed. It had only taken me a matter of five seconds to change back into my old clothes. I rapidly made my way back to her bedroom and walked in the open doorway, "Bella, I—"

I stopped short and gulped before I quickly turned myself around, my hands shooting out to grip the trim of the doorway for support. I closed my eyes tightly, but that still didn't stop my mind from holding the image of Bella I had just seen in my head like the most perfect picture that ever was— Bella, standing in nothing more than a tiny white camisole and some flimsy light green lace panties as she considered two possible sweaters to wear. I hadn't thought of the fact that Bella's hair would be wet because of her shower either, and the mere look of her with her damp, slightly wavy hair in combination with her elevated and ridiculously delicious scent made me long for her in ways I didn't even think I had been capable of before. I squeezed my eyes shut even more tightly and tried to stop the intense lust from taking over. Bella deserved better than this. Respect. Love. Devotion. The world. That's what she deserved. I shouldn't have been thinking about such an angel so crassly. I shouldn't BE thinking about such an angel so crassly. Then, I had to force away the guilt and embarrassment for walking in on her. I should've asked before I came in here. Why had I just assumed she would be ready? I had just thoroughly invaded her privacy, and it went without saying that I shouldn't have enjoyed it so much. Gah, I was such a cad.

Barely a second had gone by as I continued my mental scolding when I felt Bella's arms come around my midsection. I braced myself as I realized that that had not been enough time for her to throw on any additional items of clothing. Was she trying to kill me? Her body was still slightly warm from her shower too, and I began to berate myself further as my thoughts took yet another turn back to the gutter. However, my angel's soft voice brought me back to her, "Edward, stop."

I knew then that she had felt and continued to feel everything I was feeling, and that just made me feel worse. She squeezed me tighter in response, and my intense feelings eased a little too. She was resting so closely against me that I could feel her lips move against my back as she spoke, "Edward, you have no reason to feel guilty or embarrassed for wanting me. I want you too, you know. You seem to feel that you shouldn't want me like this or that I'm not yours to want in the first place, but…I am yours." She paused a bit before adding almost inaudibly, "I've always been yours."

I didn't know if it was the words she had spoken or the feel of her body, but something seemed to have snapped inside me. I heard myself growl and before I knew it, I was kissing her with a ferocious intensity and her body was somehow stuck firmly between my own and the wall across the room. She moaned into my mouth, and I mentally added that noise to the top of the list of my favorite sounds in the world. My hands were everywhere at once, and Bella locked her legs around me to pull me even closer. She kissed me back just as hungrily, and when her hands tightly clung to my hair, I made a sound I didn't know I could make…something like a purr. Before I could be embarrassed about it, I heard Bella make a similar sound in response to mine. Ok, that would be two sounds moving to the top of my favorite sounds list.

I couldn't seem to get enough of her. I wove my hands into her damp hair and broke away from her lips to dance down the side of her jaw, her neck, my favorite old pulse point, her collarbone, her shoulder… Bella was squirming against me and making this slight whimpering sound that caused me to become even more in need of her. Make that three sounds. However, when her hips bucked against mine in response to my lips, tongue, and teeth exploring her collarbone with purpose, I groaned into her neck.

Before I knew it, she had pulled my mouth back to hers. The taste of her drove me crazy. My emotions were all over the place. That's when I realized she might not be controlling our lustful emotions at the moment. Despite my overwhelming need for her, I focused on remembering what I really wanted. I wanted to romance her. I wanted to treat her like the wonderful angel she was. I wanted to marry her. After that, I wanted to make love to her slowly and worship every inch of her glorious body, not ravage her against the wall. My thoughts darkened as I knew that the latter idea was something I could definitely revisit sometime after that first time though.

I slowed down our intense kiss and tried to pour all of my love into it instead. Would she be receptive to a proposal? I knew that her parents had divorced a long time ago, but marriage was different for vampires. A mate was a mate for life. That being decided, I then wondered how I would do it. It had only been a day since I had found her again. I couldn't ask her so soon, could I? Maybe I could take her back to the meadow, if it hadn't grown amuck over the years. I could ask Alice about that. Or I could find a new place. I could dazzle her with freesia petals laid out everywhere, and I would get down on one knee with my mother's old ring. It would be perfect.

Bella's previously tight hold seemed to loosen some, and her hands ran over my shoulders soothingly. She randomly broke our kiss, and I was suddenly breathless by how gorgeous she was. Her damp hair was more disheveled, but her eyes were bright and her lips looked abused from my ravaging them. Her look became serious as she stated to me quietly, "Just ask me, Edward."

I stared at her for a moment before I realized that she must already know that I had decided to propose. Oh. I had forgotten about that. How was I ever supposed to surprise her now? I supposed I could be like Jasper and think of numerous possibilities before honing in on one, but even that didn't always work for him when it came time to acting on his ultimate decision. As she evaluated my eyes calmly, I realized that the only time I would ever have her in suspense over this was likely right now. She didn't know what I was going to say in response so I randomly blurted out the only words I wanted to say to her before really thinking about it, "Marry me, Bella."

As I had thought, her eyes widened in surprise, likely because I knew there were numerous more romantic ways I could have gone about proposing to her. In fact, she probably had seen a few of them as I had thought them over. I braced myself for her answer, but I needn't have worried. Her angelic voice made my whole world when it spoke one word, "Yes."

I blinked, and I was sure I held her too tightly for a moment. "Yes?"

She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck more tightly, bringing her body even closer to mine. I could feel every inch of her against me, and that contact was amazing. "You thought I would say no, you silly vampire?"

I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding and began to smile back at her. "You're finally going to be my wife."

I felt her hand move over my hair lovingly, but my gaze was drawn to the happiness and love I could see on her face. "That's what happens when you get married, Edward."

My eyes narrowed at her as I heard the sarcasm enter her tone, and I immediately attacked her sides with my fingers in retaliation for her to be so cheeky during what was quickly becoming my favorite moment with her ever. She started laughing and squirming against me as I tickled her, but I held her firmly. Pulling us away from the wall, I tossed my laughing fiancée on her bed before falling next to her and pulling her back into my arms. "I love you."

She sighed into my neck, but I could feel the smile still on her lips. "Hmmm, I love you too."

I was trying to think of things we could do for a wedding for the two of us, but before I could ask her anything, we were interrupted from my cell phone ringing. Bella huffed and sat up to look at the phone lying on the dresser before she spoke out loud into the room, "Yes, Alice, you can plan the wedding. No, you cannot go overboard. Simple, elegant, classic, and romantic are your adjectives. Guest list is strictly close vampire friends only plus Jacob and his wife, should she choose to come." She paused for a moment as she considered something further, "And no, that is not negotiable."

The phone stopped ringing after that so I pulled her back down to me whispering softly into her ear, "Do you have any idea what you just agreed to?"

Bella groaned into my neck. "Yes, but it will turn out beautiful, and Alice will be happy."

I chuckled and rolled the both of us onto our sides so I could look at her. I never wanted to stop looking at her. I pouted playfully, "You've already seen our wedding, and I just asked you?"

She bit her lip as she smiled up at me, and her sheepish face was utterly adorable. "Well, not exactly, but Alice is already making decisions so I have a general idea. I try and turn off that power, but it doesn't exactly work like some of the others. Occasionally, I can block it out, but I think that if even some small part of me is curious, I'll somehow know…does that make sense?"

I nodded in understanding. It was kind of like what I did with my gift too. However, because Bella was a natural block, mine and other talents would be blocked out much easier than most. Alice's talent was so involved with everyone and everything that the block would have to work even harder to stop it. I couldn't stop myself from smirking though as I teased her, "I understand. So…do I get a spoiler too then? Since I know the bride and all?"

She snorted and shook her head with purpose against my chest. "No way. If I can't be surprised, I'm going to make sure that at least you will be."

I chuckled at her fierce response. I knew I could try and beg her to give me a few details, considering she had just as hard a time denying me anything as I did her. However, it seemed as if she was stowing up her resolve to really make sure I was surprised. She held me more tightly just then and kept her face hidden from view so I began to get the inclination that she must have seen me try to dazzle her into answering a few things. That made me smile even wider. I was just about to dazzle her senseless for just a few hints or minor details when her lips softly grazed the side of my neck as her body moved against mine in a very appetizing way. All of the air left me in a whoosh. She was good. I was definitely 100% distracted.

Her voice sent her warm breath against my neck as she whispered, "Edward?"

My hands fisted in her tiny camisole, and it was only then that I remembered her state of undress. I gulped when I felt the love and lust return to me right, quick, and in a hurry. I really couldn't speak at that point, but I tried anyway, "Hmmm?"

She pulled her body up mine a bit as her lips danced slowly up towards my ear. My unnecessary breathing was suddenly audible in the room by the time she had finished her journey. Her seductive words though practically sent my dead heart racing, "Edward, I know that you want to wait until we get married for certain things, but I'm curious as to what kinds of boundaries you want me to uphold?"

Screw the damn boundaries! That's what was flying through my head in that exact moment, but I knew somewhere deep down I truly did want to do this right. For Bella to be asking this of me, I realized that she must know that this was important to the sensible me and she was asking me what we could do to satiate ourselves despite us both wanting each other completely. This was so hard, particularly because there was a rally inside of me pushing for me to just let go. I held her tightly to me, burying my face into her neck as I attempted to be as honest as I could with her, "I'm not sure. All I know is…" I rolled her onto her back and leaned over her, making sure to fully take in the beauty lying before me before telling her my thoughts. I leaned down and placed a slow kiss on her collarbone, whispering fervently against her soft skin, "I love you…" My lips moved towards her neck and jaw as I continued my murmuring, "…and I want you…" My lips hovered near her mouth as I let my lips just barely graze hers before finishing my thought, "…right now."

Bella was trembling beneath me by the time I was finished, but when she whimpered softly, I couldn't seem to stop myself from exploring her mouth entirely. She pulled me down so my weight settled on top of her, and I let my hands wander along the soft curves of her body and over the soft skin of her thighs. I didn't want to take anything too far, but I wanted to kiss and touch her so damnit, that was what I was going to do.

I didn't know how much time had gone by, but both of us merely enjoyed taking our time just kissing and touching the other for what seemed like hours. I knew I lost my shirt at some point, but that was as far as things had gotten. I loved how she responded to me and my touches, the way her breath would hitch, and the sounds she would make as just merely being this close to one another brought us bliss. We were still slowly kissing the other when I felt Bella suddenly freeze in my arms. I immediately pulled back, obviously concerned, "Bella?"

As soon as I had loosened my hold on her, she had sat up, her whole demeanor poised towards the still open window. I frowned. She could either smell something or was waiting to smell something after catching a sense of someone using Demetri's talent. This was not good. I was just about to question her again when her breath hitched and she whispered in surprise, "Jacob?"

My brow furrowed. What was Jacob coming here for? He hadn't seen Bella in person in years, considering he had wanted the werewolf gene to recess. The only contact they maintained had been by phone about once a month. Maybe I should have asked Bella about Jacob's tone of voice in those two voicemails before. "Those voicemails…"

Bella looked unsure. "No, he sounded like himself. He's always a little tense when he calls me. This must be something else. He's not alone. In fact…" Her nose scrunched up slightly before her beautiful golden eyes met my own, "Edward, I think he's with two werewolves."

My eyes widened. "Some more Quileutes turned? Why would he be bringing them to you? Well, I could see maybe eventually he might, considering they may want to use you as a contact for the next generation of wolves, but…why now specifically?"

Bella shrugged and looked deep in thought. "The smell is similar to how Jake used to smell. I think they might be his two sons. Can you smell them yet? They're close, a couple of miles off. They're not moving that fast, likely in a car in the traffic."

I crept closer to the window to breathe in more of the outside. In my peripheral, I noticed Bella reluctantly get up and finish getting dressed. She threw on a pair of jeans and one of the discarded sweaters from the floor, the one with a midnight blue hue. The dark blue looked amazing on her, but my appreciative thoughts disappeared when I could suddenly smell what she meant. I remembered Jacob's scent from all that time ago and from Bella's memories, but I could notice the subtle difference he smelt like now that he no longer shifted…less animalistic…and the similarities to that scent and the two new ones. Interesting. I had a feeling she was right. Those had to be his two sons. He must be concerned, hence this impromptu visit. His sons were 23 and 20. That was late to start the transformation. Most of the Quileutes started during puberty, somewhere between 13 and 17. I affirmed her assessment out loud, "You're probably right. I can't hear them yet, but we should be able to soon."

Bella nodded before she spoke to me silently, _I hope you don't mind._

I just shrugged before I grabbed my discarded shirt and threw it back on. I figured she would want to hear their thoughts so it was no surprise to me that she would use my gift. I heard Bella sigh, and when I looked up, I saw her looking at my shirt distastefully. I chuckled and kissed her on her forehead. _Later, beautiful. I didn't like watching you get dressed either._

She looked as if she would be blushing if she could right now, which just caused me to chuckle more. She hit me playfully in my side before making her way out to the living room. I enjoyed the view as I followed her out, especially when she looked over her shoulder as she knew exactly what I was doing. However, when I could sense Jacob's mind more clearly than before, even if his thoughts were still muffled, I remembered something important. _He's not going to be happy that I'm here._

Bella frowned, obviously just realizing this herself. _No, but he doesn't understand, Edward. He will listen to me, and besides, all he's ever wanted was for me to be happy. You make me happy, and that should be enough reason for him to let things go._

I nodded curtly, although I was now bracing myself for a rather angry former werewolf. He could no longer change, but if his two sons saw their father's anger towards me, it could be bad for two young volatile werewolves to be near us. They could react badly. Bella was in front of me at these thoughts, her face looking up at mine as her hand ran over my face. _Stop that. Everything will be fine. I can calm them._

I frowned, but nodded to her that I understood. I didn't have to like it, but I understood. I would stop them before they hurt her anyway. I heard Bella laugh softly so I looked down at her curiously. She rolled her eyes, but they were entirely too happy for this situation in my opinion. _Oh, Edward. I can take care of myself now, you know. In fact, __I____will probably protect __you__._

It was my turn to roll my eyes, but she knew I wasn't upset. I didn't care if she had talents from other vampires and could easily fight off any vampire. I would still protect her anyway. She was my mate, my life, my world. No one would touch her if I was around to stop them first. She wrapped her arms around me and sighed as I tightened my hold on her. Her silent words made me feel like I could face anything, _You're my world too, Edward._

It was then I could feel Jacob's mind become clearer along with the two others, _…didn't she call me back? She always calls me back, but it's been two weeks since I called, and then all of this shit happened. She has to know we're here by now. I wonder if she already knows and was expecting me. I bet…_

I switched to listen to the two others, but they also didn't give me any inclination as to what this could be about. _…acting so agitated. Caleb needs to chill. He's still shaking even though Dad has told him to try and calm down. I suppose he's noticing Dad's own lack of control. Dad hasn't looked this crazed since I was a kid. He looks worried…really worried. I don't get it. I'm glad I'm more like Mom. I hope this vampire he knows doesn't kill him…or us. Weren't vamps supposed to drink blood and all that shit? But then, how has he lived this long if she does?_

I reluctantly smiled at the elder son's thoughts, Michael as I remembered from Bella's thoughts, before turning my attention to his younger brother, Caleb. _…we coming here? I don't understand. I thought we were supposed to fight vampires? Why then are we going to see one? And Dad was friends with her when she was human? I know he has mentioned that he was way older than he looks, but this is so bizarre. I can't stop shaking. It's like I know there's danger in one of these apartments. Dad's giving me a look again. I have to calm down. He said she might be able to help me with that. How? And…_

I reluctantly let go of Bella before stating too softly for the others to hear, "You should answer the door, love."

She nodded and when they were close enough to her apartment, she did. The door opening before they had even knocked startled the two new wolves. They immediately started shaking and thinking erratically. I tensed and poised myself for a possible fight, but their thoughts calmed a bit when they finally took a good look at Bella. She looked so meek to them, and I couldn't help but smirk down into the floor. Boy, if they only knew. Apparently, looks can be deceiving. Bella shot me a tiny grin of her own at my thoughts. However, her grin faded when she noticed Jacob glaring fiercely at me. He turned to Bella, his thoughts wishing he could still change so he could tear me to shreds. He spoke through gritted teeth, "What the hell is he doing here, Bells?"

Bella sighed, ignoring his anger, and just motioned for them all to come inside, "Hurry, come in. We shouldn't be out in the open."

The two boys were hesitant, but they complied after hearing Bella's melodic voice. They were watching me warily now though. They hadn't seen me at first, and I looked far more dangerous than Bella. A smile flitted at my lips. Oh, the irony. Jacob was still glaring at me, but his thoughts took a different turn then, a turn that made me feel desolate and awful. The tiny grin instantly fell from my face. He knew what my gift was so he was purposefully remembering what had happened to Bella and the pain I had put her through. It was worse seeing it from his perspective in some ways. He had loved her, still loved her, and hearing the condemnation from someone who loved the one you hurt was all that more painful. One image of Bella holding herself together probably soon after I had left her was the most gut-wrenching, and I couldn't seem to stop my grimace. I immediately looked down toward the floor. However, his thoughts cut out after that, and I heard Bella growl in warning at Jacob. Her words were demanding, "Cut it out, Jake."

The two new wolves jumped and tensed when my meek looking Bella suddenly looked every bit like the vampire they knew her to be. Jacob began to protest, but his words died in his throat rendering him silent. Bella and he had locked eyes, and I knew then that she was speaking to him mentally in order to change his thinking. A part of me knew I deserved his mental attack, even if she didn't think I did, but I still loved her for trying to adjust his opinion of me. I tried to ignore the whole thing instead by turning my attention to his two sons. They were still evaluating Bella and me hesitantly, but the obvious tension in the air seemed to be getting to both of them. I could see them beginning to lose control, in both their minds and their bodies so I murmured softly, "Bella."

At my voice, Bella's attention snapped back to the room and away from Jacob. A sense of thick calm permeated the air, and both the young boys relaxed. They both realized what had happened and were now openly staring at her. She just sighed before sending a mild glare over at Jacob. "Sorry. Jake and I were just…setting a few things straight."

I glanced over at Jacob, when his thoughts began again, _I'm sorry, Edward. You have to understand, I mean…well, you know what I mean._

I just nodded at him, never moving from my position between Bella and the two new werewolves. I could tell from his thoughts that Bella must have shown him what I had gone through without her to get him to understand. What mattered was that she and I were finally together, and he accepted that. I think he had somewhere always known that she and I should have been together from the very beginning. At least the two of us finally fixed my mistake from so long ago now. Bella reached for my hand before turning all of our attention back to the situation before us. She turned to the boys with a smile, and I suppressed my own smirk when I noticed them both get a bit dazzled. Even Jacob rolled his eyes at his sons' behavior. "You must be Michael and Caleb… I've heard so much about the both of you from your father. I know that all of this must come as a shock to you both, but I'm Bella and this is Edward." She turned back to look over at Jacob. "And Jake, would you mind telling us what's going on? I'm afraid you must have forgotten that I cannot see werewolves with Alice's gift. I'm a little surprised by your visit when you normally just give me a call nowadays."

Jacob sighed and ran a hand through his hair. I noticed the hints of gray and the subtle differences in his face that have happened to him as he has aged. He looked to be approaching 50 or so, but I knew him to be just a year or so younger than Bella. He looked at both of us warily. Even without feeling his emotions, I could tell he was tense, worried, and shaken for some reason. "Obviously, you know my sons have undergone the transformation. They knew everything already from me, although I told them that the transformation would likely pass them by. They both came home for Spring Break, and it was odd. They both were more ravenous and temperamental, which should have been cues for me, but I thought they were too old now. When they first transformed, we had all been shocked. Seth and I put our heads together and had the two of them make rounds around our borders to see…a reason for the random change. The two of us were not expecting what they told us. I knew I had to come see you, Bella. This is…what you warned me about."

Both Bella and I turned our heads automatically toward his boys as their minds turned to what their father was alluding to. They had moved through the Quileute borders as they had been told and had come across a very familiar vampire. Both she and I tensed. Bella's mouth dropped open, and I could feel her compassion and remorse flowing from her and into the room as she watched both boys wince from the pain they remembered in their memories. The only question that remained was why Jane from the Volturi had been in Forks, Washington to begin with. Apparently, the Volturi were messing with more than just Bella, my family, and vegetarian vampires. It looked like we all had a lot to discuss if we were going to understand what they truly wanted from all of us.


End file.
